0:00 I thought I'll briefly share my life journey and some important things that I learned from this church. It was in 1987 when my life was in a mess that I 0:30 came to know the Lord. One of my junior students was studying with me. He shared the gospel and when my life was in a thoroughly messed up state, those words spoke to my heart and I yielded to the Lord and became his child. Soon I started my 0:57 undergraduate studies in Coimbatore and then there was a change in my life and there was an excitement and a joy and it was exciting. I studied in a Christian Karunia Institute of Technology. That was the name at that particular time and I remember in 1987 I 1:21 came along with the Jesus Calls team to Bangalore and some ground here representing the students. I was also sharing my conversion and all that. I never knew anything about CFC at that particular time. Life was exciting and I was going around. I was sharing 1:39 and I was back home also. I'm from Kerala, so back home and I go. Also, they used to tell, "Oh, this engineering student will testify and all that." So, over a period of time, my ego was just being fed up. Though, through this excitement, I was losing the sense of 1:58 reality of my Christian life. And in 1988, December, I went through a life experience where my younger brother, Prasad Mathew, he met with a road accident and he went to be with the Lord. He went to be with the Lord. He went to be with the Lord. He was a young brother of just 18 and a half years old. 2:12 And he went to be with the Lord. He was a young brother of just 18 and a half years old. And he went to be with the Lord. He went to be with the Lord. He went to be with the Lord. He went to be with the Lord. He was a young brother of just 18 and a half years old. 2:28 But just one year, he knew the Lord. He really knew the Lord intimately. And some of you, recently, there were Prasad Mathew, Prasad Mathew's life and his life sketch was being circulated in the social networks and all. 2:51 And I think recently, in the Tamil Nadu youth camp, they enacted his life. So he was a, I don't want to narrate more on his life. Maybe you can, through some of these, from the social networks and all, you can read about his life. Just one year, he knew the Lord. 3:09 But he was so close to the Lord that there were two notebooks of his own wherein he wrote so many things in his personal intimate decisions and commitment with the Lord. And at this time, I was at home. I had to go back to my native place from Coimbatore. I had to miss my university exams and I went there back at home. 3:33 I saw his writings. I was challenged by his life. And then this question came to my heart. Prasad was ready. Are you ready? I was, these questions were battling. I am saved. I am excited. But then I am going around. I am sharing my testimony. But there is a vacuum inside. There is a lack of reality inside. 3:56 And Lord, is there something more? I am longing for something, something which I am missing. And at home, when I was with all these thoughts, discouragement, someone gave me a cassette, an audio cassette. And I listened to the message in that audio cassette. And I was something, I was very much deeply attracted. I was longing for something and I was listening to something which I was longing for. 4:23 And that was the message of Brother Zach. And some brother in that particular region gave me that. And so I got some new purpose, new direction and I came back to my college in Coimbatore. And then immediately I wanted to meet this brother, who this brother is. And then I remember, I think it was in 1989, that we came on a study tour. And then while in Bangalore, I rang him up. 4:49 I don't know whether he remembers. I rang him up. And then he was busy, I think. Then I rang him up again. And he said, "You can come." And I went to his house. And then he again encouraged. And then I went back to the college with a box of audio tapes. And then I got connected with a church there in Coimbatore. 5:05 And I started sharing these tapes with some of my friends. And we had a fellowship there. And every day we used to meet. That was a wonderful experience. But then the greatest thing that I value in this church is that as soon as I came to the church, I started hearing these truths that the way to the tree of life 5:30 is guarded by Cherubimzu, you know, with flaming swords. So you can't, if you want to go to the tree of life, experience life, you have to go through this flaming sword. Because outside, everywhere, I am being pampered. My ego is being boosted. And all of a sudden, in a short span of time, you kind of very soon become a blotted up balloon. 5:56 And then I come here and I hear words of eternal life. And I really, like Brother Charles was saying that you need to kiss the hand of your parents who discipline you, I really want to thank God for the godly brothers who very strongly rebuked me, corrected me. And many things which I had no light about, I was corrected. 6:21 And through this correction and through this flaming sword, I could see, I could see life. There is, this is a place where I can receive life. This is a place where I can receive life. This is the way to life. Like, Jesus asked Peter, do you also want to go? No, I don't want to go because you have the words of eternal life. We have the words of eternal life. The words that give us life, that can take us forward. 6:49 So that is how I started. And during my life, I have had my ups and downs. But then the Lord was faithful. Like we just heard, the Lord was kind. The Lord was faithful. And the Lord was really faithful to take me through. 7:04 So this is a picture of Prasad. Probably some of you can read about his life on Facebook and so many other social networking sites. It is available. And then, then I, you know, we read about God, that God is God's loving kindness and God's severity. God is loving and God is severe. 7:33 So I could experience this kind of God's correction and God's, you know, going through the flaming sword and all that. But then whenever I've, I've gone through difficulties, failures, discouragements, I could also see brothers were so loving. 7:52 I could see taste of God's love, God's, the warmth of his love. And then recently, as a family, we went through a tough situation in life. So there also we could experience the prayers of so many of God's people, the love of so many of God's people. And I'm really thankful to God. 8:12 So in this journey, I just wanted to share a few things that really helped me. One is to know that God knows me. So through all the difficulties that I went through, that could be an anchor, that could be an anchor, not just for me, for all of us, that God knows me. God knows me by my name. 8:38 Just as just something was just sharing. I just want to read a verse from Isaiah, Isaiah 43. Isaiah 43 verse 1 and 2, but now thus says the Lord, your creator, O Jacob, and he who formed you, O Israel, do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine. You are mine. I have called you by name. You are mine. 9:12 This assurance. This assurance. I am God's. Whatever might be the situation that I am going through, I am God's. You are mine. And then it goes on to say in verse 2, when you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. You are mine. I have called you by my name. 9:40 So, probably we went through a tough situation where our daughter was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in 2010 and she had to go through an year of chemotherapy and treatment and all that. And our daughter, she went to be with the Lord in 2011 November at the age of 15. She had completed 15. She was about to be 16. But then we were comforted and we were strengthened by the prayers of so many of you brothers and sisters. 10:16 And this assurance that God knows us. God, without his knowledge, nothing happens in our lives. And she was a God-fearing girl and she loved the Lord. And we had this assurance, probably if you, many of you have seen this booklet and many of you, probably you would have met Shekena. She's Shekena. And briefly about her life also is available in the social networking sites and all. And when you get time, you can go through. 10:54 So, we had a sensitive conscience. We loved the Lord. And the Lord comforted us through this, through this period. And that was also, we could experience the loving kindness of the Lord. The assurance that God knows us. God knows us. 11:06 Without his knowledge, nothing happens in our lives. He is in control. At that time also, I remember when I was very much discouraged. I had doubts. I wrote to Zach and he also was encouraging me. "God is a loving father. He is a loving father. He is a loving father." These two truths really strengthened me at that particular time. God is a loving father and God is a sovereign God. He is a loving father and everything that comes from his hand, though we may not understand everything on this earth, it is out of his love. 11:36 And he is sovereign. He cannot make a mistake. He will not make a mistake. Whatever he allows, he has a purpose. These truths strengthened us, encouraged us. That was really literally going through a fire. Going through waters. But praise the Lord by his grace, by his mercy, by his loving kindness, we could come out without being scorched, without being burnt. Praise God for the love of the Lord and the mercy of the Lord. 12:08 So, God knows us. God knows us. God knows me. That should be the assurance. Maybe you are going through, maybe not a big trial as this, maybe a smaller trial. Whichever big or small, whichever trial in our lives that we are going through, we need to have this assurance that God knows me. He knows me by my name. 12:30 He says, you are mine. You are mine. I am his. He knows me personally. And whatever might be, whatever might be the small or big situation that we are going through, he is in control. He has a purpose. He has a way. He makes a way. Through it all, we can come out. That is the solid foundation that we need to have. 12:55 And then, another truth that helped me in my Christian life, and probably it could also help you, is that we need to know God. We need to know God. We have been listening that we need to have an intimate relationship with the Lord. 13:12 And we need to know God. And we need to know God. So, by, sometimes we think about spending time in a closet, having, spending time adoring and worshipping Him. Definitely, along with that or beyond that, we need to know Him in the, in our life's situations. We need to know Him by surrendering, as we were hearing earlier. 13:46 There are situations in our lives, choices in our lives, problems that we face at that particular time, where we can surrender and say, Lord, like in Matthew 26, like Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, Lord, not my will, but Thy will. 14:03 I desire this. I have this will. I have my plan. I have my ambition. But Lord, not my will, but Thy will. I yield myself. Lord, not my will, but Thy will. And at these times when I say, Lord, not my will, but Thy will, I am knowing the Lord. I am knowing the Lord. 14:22 And we read in John 17 that eternal life is to know Him. Eternal life is to know God. Eternal life is to know Jesus Christ. And then we read in Daniel chapter 11, Daniel chapter 11 and verse 32. At a difficult time, we read there, that the latter part of that verse, contrasting to the difficult time, there it says, 15:04 But the people who know their God will display strength and take action. But the people who know their God will display strength and take action. Those who know Him personally, there could be storms and there could be trials, there could be pressures, but those who know Him personally can stand. 15:23 They will be able to stand. They will display strength and take action. And dear brothers and sisters, we all need to know Him. And for that, God allows various situations in our lives, in our personal life, in our family life, in our workplace, in our life situations. 15:38 And at that particular time, instead of rebelling and instead of complaining and instead of questioning, if we can say, Lord, I don't understand everything fully, but Lord, you are in control. Not my will, but Thy will. 15:50 Lord, I give myself to you. I offer my life before you. Lord, not my will, but Thy will. And in that process of laying our lives, our self-will, our goals, our ambitions, our plans on the altar, we know Him. We get to know Him. We get to know Him. And God wants us to be people who know Him and who display strength. 16:10 And last, I just want to also mention that in this Christian journey, it is very important that we know ourselves, that we know ourselves. Many times, many times, I have found when I look back into my own life, it was the time when I really didn't know myself, that I get deceived. 16:31 So, we read in Revelations chapter 2 and 3 and all that, about so many people who were even leading the churches. Revelations chapter 2, the lecture to the leader of the church in Ephesus, there he writes, 16:56 There are so many good things about Him. I know your, verse 2, I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to test those who call themselves apostles. So many good things, so many good things, and you have perseverance and have endurance, endured for my name's sake. 17:15 But, probably he too, the problem was that, he knew that he is doing all these. Probably, whatever he did, his success, probably it would have gone to his head. But, his lack, he couldn't know. He didn't know that he had lost his first love. 17:36 Lord, I want to know my real condition. If I have lost my first love, if I am cooling off, Lord, I want to know that. Rather than meditating on my successes and my achievements and what I do. Lord, in reality, what is my heart's condition? 17:53 Lord, I want to know myself. And if we want to know ourselves, we need to really know that we cannot understand, know ourselves by our own estimate. In Jeremiah, chapter 17, we read that our heart is deceptive. Jeremiah 17, verse 9 and 10, the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. 18:18 Who can understand it? I cannot understand it. I need to be humble enough to acknowledge that, Lord, I cannot understand my heart. And the Lord says, "I, Lord, search the heart. I test the mind even to give to each man. 18:31 I search the heart." And then, I need to go to the Lord and ask him, "Lord, show me my true condition." And then, I will not deceive myself. The Lourdesian church leader also deceived himself. He thought he was wealthy and rich and great. 18:47 He is poor, wretched, blind and miserable. Lord, show me my true condition. And I want to, in my journey ahead, I want to be founded in this fact that God knows me. And I want to continue to know him personally. 19:07 And lest I fall by the wayside, I want to continually know my true condition. I want to know myself. And I thank God for all the godly examples. Thank God for all the teachings that I and my family have received. And I am so thankful for the church and the brothers and for all you all. 19:25 Thank you. It's wonderful to see these young brothers who have grown up, little children, young people. And now, mature elders in a church. 19:49 Planting churches, leading churches. It's a tremendous joy for me to see that. And that's what we work towards right from the beginning. You know, just like parents, we train our children to grow up, to one day become parents themselves. 20:08 And what a joy it is for parents to see their children grow up and become parents. That's the same joy that those of us who are older elders have now when we see younger people who grew up as little boys in our midst. We are now leading and planting churches. 20:28 Santosh Matthew was a very zealous brother in the Indian Institute of Science. And numerous young people came in touch with CFC through his witness in that institute. A number of them, very fine brothers. 20:48 Some are with us and some are not, but they are all believers and we are very happy. But then a time came in Santosh Matthew's life where I don't know what was the reason. And it happens very often with young people that God blesses them and then maybe their head gets a bit swollen and he drifted away from us, from CFC. 21:16 And I virtually said goodbye to him. I said, okay, you go your way, I don't care how gifted you are, I don't care how many people you can bring to the Lord. In our church we work together in a spirit of submission. And if you don't have that, I don't hate you, go and do your own work. 21:35 And he went right away. And I thought that was, I mean, I knew I'd see him in heaven, but I don't know whether I'd see much on this earth. But it's amazing how God took him through different circumstances and he had the humility to come back. 21:54 He's one of the only people, one of the only people who went away and came back. But they know they are wrong, but they won't come back because it's a loss of face to acknowledge I was wrong. But God gave him the grace and that is how God prepared him for the ministry he has today. 22:21 And that was not all. God had to do a more greater work in him. He has three daughters and it's a unique example, I tell you how he and his wife have brought up those three daughters in simplicity and godliness. 22:42 He has two daughters with a spirit of service that is rare to find in young girls. Amazing, absolutely amazing. That girl who died, his eldest daughter Shekina, was such a spiritually minded girl at the age of fifteen. It's rare to find such a girl at the age of fifteen, so spiritually minded and the spirit of service, it shows how the parents have brought her up and she got cancer. 23:18 And God took, we know, I know of another case of a girl who had similar cancer and survived, we prayed and we prayed a lot for her, but God chose, took her away. Like somebody said, if a gardener has tended a garden and produced so many roses, doesn't the owner of the garden have the right to come and pluck one and take it away? 23:45 The owner is God. We parents tend these roses and if God comes and says, I want to take one of these for myself in heaven. Well, we submit, he's the owner, we are not. So I encouraged Santosh Matthew at the time, it was a tremendous trial, I've never been through it. 24:05 I don't know how many of you have been through raising up a girl up to the age of fifteen in godliness, your eldest child and then to lose her like that. So I encouraged him and I said, see, fifteen years ago God sent a little helpless baby into your home. 24:26 Who knew nothing. You trained her up in fifteen years and made her a saint and sent her back to heaven. What a wonderful job you did. There's a lot of heartache there, but that was a preparation. 24:46 First that other drifting and coming back in the humility to acknowledge error. And then the pain of having to lose your eldest daughter. Through that God prepared him for a ministry. And I've known him from the time he was a young student in Karunia. 25:08 And I can say his ministry really began after his daughter went to be with the Lord. I could see what has happened since then. As an elder in Koteum, God knew that Joji Samuel, who you heard earlier, such a godly brother. 25:30 However godly you may be, you need a balance. Even Paul needed a Barnabas. A Barnabas needed a Paul. He needed someone. And God trained this brother to be the perfect balance. It's one of the ideally balanced elderships I have seen anywhere in India. 25:53 But see how he got prepared for it. And together they have been a blessing in that church. You know each sort of balancing out the lack of the other. And together a glorious unity that's blessing not only Koteum. But all the churches in Kerala. 26:15 I'm very thankful personally. For the fellowship I have with my dear brother Santosh Matthew. And I believe he's fulfilled a great ministry of... See one of the ministries of the church. We don't realize this. 26:35 Is what is mentioned in Luke's Gospel in chapter 2. Where Simeon said about Jesus, the little baby. Said to Mary in verse 34. This child is appointed for the fall and the rise of many in Israel. 27:03 Fall and rise. And for a sign to be opposed. So that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. There are two, three things there. When Jesus comes into a situation. People will never be the same after that. They'll never be the same. 27:22 Either they will rise or they will fall. Verse 34. That's the one mark of Christ. The real Jesus coming into a... When he came into the midst of the Pharisees. Some rose, some fell. Second thing. When Christ comes into place. 27:37 It will be tremendously opposed. That's what it says there. A sign to be opposed. We don't want this. And the third. The hidden thoughts of many people. Will be exposed. We thought they were such spiritual people. And suddenly we discover they are carnal and jealous and immature. 28:01 That is the ministry of a true servant of God and of a church. And Joji Samuel and Santosh Matthew together. Have fulfilled that ministry in Kerala. There are people who have risen. 28:22 And people who have fallen. They have been opposed tremendously. And through it all the hidden thoughts of so many who people thought were very spiritual. Was exposed. So God does not take a person through painful experiences without a purpose. 28:46 It's with a purpose. Sometimes when they go through it. With a human compassion. We say oh Lord. Why do you let them go through all this? God has a purpose. I often think of that verse which I often quote to people in John 13 verse 7. 29:05 Jesus said what I am doing now you don't understand. You will understand later on. That's a verse that we must always remember. Sometimes when we go through some circumstance which we can't fully explain. Beautiful words of Jesus in John 13 verse 7. 29:23 What I am doing now you don't understand. You will not understand now. But you will understand it later on. And that's a great thing. You know many things I went through in my life. I didn't understand. The reason I showed you Sandeep's picture and Santosh's picture there. 29:44 On the screen. Was to show you that that's what they looked like when we had one of our first conferences. And year after year they came to conferences and they have also been through many ups and downs in their own life. 29:59 And trials and defeats. Like many young people. Don't get discouraged. And through it all as they humbled themselves God raised them up and gave them a ministry. I didn't give it to them. 30:19 I felt that they need to establish a ministry for themselves where nobody knows me. Here in India everybody knows me. It was people would know them as my son. That's not the way to get a ministry. They had to go to a place where nobody knew me. 30:39 And through the Lord, the Lord himself must give them a ministry. And that's what happened. And I go to that place and I'm introduced as Sandeep's father. That's how they know me. What I'm trying to say is. All of you young people, it's for your encouragement I say that. 31:01 Don't get discouraged. All these young brothers, they will tell you about their failures and mistakes. But God has blotted it out and says I will not remember it anymore. They are not people who have not made mistakes. Joseph Kurla who has come here, he will tell you about mistakes he has made. 31:20 But God has given them such a unique ministry. I mean not only in Velour but across Tamil Nadu. I thank God for these brothers whom God has raised up. As I told you to all the folks who spoke to this couple of days. Are between 20 and 40 years younger than me. 31:38 And this is our greatest joy. Spiritual witnesses in a new generation. And we are not like Cain. Who is jealous that God is blessing and able. We are not like Reuben and the older brothers of Joseph who are jealous that younger brother Joseph is being accepted. 32:01 We are not like Saul that younger David is being blessed. We who are older elders sincerely rejoice. That the anointing of God is upon these young brothers. And our prayer is that they will do a greater work for God in their generation than we have ever done. 32:24 That they will know God better than us. They will minister with greater anointing. Greater fire. Lead people to Godliness across the face of the earth. Spread the vision that God has given us in CFC to many nations and many people. 32:44 Not by power nor by might but by the Holy Spirit. God can use anyone and it's good for all of you young people who sit here to get hope. See God has given these brothers such good wives. 33:05 And that's why the sisters also have a ministry. If these brothers who got up and spoke here did not have good wives. It would have been very difficult whether it's Sanjay or Santosh or Santosh Matthew. I mean if they didn't have wives to support them these young brothers they wouldn't be able to fulfill a ministry. 33:25 So your sisters also. Godly men need Godly wives. Be a Godly sister. God needs Godly young men and young women in the days to come in India. And don't get discouraged because you failed. God picks up people who have failed. 33:47 If you get discouraged read my book The Purpose of Failure. Part of it is my own testimony. There's a purpose in it. And I think in the history of the human, of the Christian church you'll find that almost every, most of the people God has used 34:06 were people who failed somewhere or the other. And that, that failure humbled them. So that they wouldn't lift up their head and think that they are somebody. And then God could fulfill His purpose through them. Let's pray. 34:27 Heavenly Father. Please help us to honor you in everything. Thank you for this testimony we have heard. From these brothers. In Jesus name. Amen.
