0:12 The questions The questions have been selected because Um in QA sessions we have been having it for number of years. And uh on our website there are there is a QA section separately 0:30 where about more than 6 700 question answers are already there. If you have anything uh in particular about any topic you can go to the QA section {slash} you put whatever 0:48 you want to say meditation or fellowship or something like whatever you'd like to know, you click on that. You will get that QA answered by brother Zach. So, numerous questions have been answered. 1:05 So, today we have just taken something that probably are not there on the website. Just about five six of them. I'll I'll read the questions. The first question is related to church and discipline. 1:23 In church, I see many of the youngsters falling away and also bringing the ways of the world into the church. Should I tell someone about it? Okay. So, should you tell someone about it? Uh 1:42 So, I see many youngsters falling away bringing the ways of the world into the church. Should I tell some someone about it? Um So, obviously matters who you tell. Right? You should be The only reason should tell someone 1:59 is not in the spirit of an accuser, but so that they can help. So, you have to think hard about who can actually help in this situation, right? And and tell somebody who can help. Um So, if you're not sure what to do, 2:19 ask some other godly person for advice. Right? There's this sort of a situation and I'm not sure what to do. Who should I talk to? I'm not sure who I should talk to. But if it's a very serious problem, you think it's like quite a serious problem, 2:35 please come and talk to one of us, one of the elders. Um and See, you shouldn't worry about is it such a serious problem, what will happen, you know? If it's not such a serious problem, we'll tell you it's not such a serious problem, nothing. But 2:49 it's better to do something about it than to not do anything about it. And also, you shouldn't worry about confidences. We know how to keep confidences. Uh and we will, you know, do things in a way that 3:08 that the problem is solved without, you know, uh without it becoming public news or people getting shamed. I mean, this is where we need wisdom. If it's not a problem we can solve, we will also get help from somebody else who can help us. 3:22 Yeah, it is good to bring it to the notice of someone who can help. If you cannot help, um but you need to see the gravity of the situation. If it is I mean, something 3:42 uh not very serious, maybe uh one of the brothers or sisters can speak to the person and uh counsel him or her and correct. But, in certain cases where uh some are very defiant, 4:00 uh those who come in to the church newly, and if you find they are defiant and uh they they would like to have their own way, uh influencing others and polluting others, then maybe 4:19 you need to bring it to the notice of someone who who is uh team leader, team leader, or team leader, or youth leader, or maybe some they will inform the elders. There was a case, I remember a few 4:37 months back, there was one sister who used to come from non-Christian background. She was converted. And uh uh we didn't see much change in her as to um her behavior 4:55 and uh the way she would talk, the the way she would conduct, and uh the way she would put uh on her uh social media 5:13 uh certain comments which were um not in line with uh uh believer doing that. It was almost as bad as any unbeliever or a non-Christian. And I had to speak to her very strongly. 5:33 And and also regarding her uh way of speech and uh her conduct, and the spirit of independence. I told her, 5:49 "You seem to be very strong-headed girl. I would suggest you, if you get married, I mean, I would say if you get married, you will have a lot of problem with your husband." To such sisters I say, "You better don't get married and ruin other person's 6:05 life." So, same goes with the brothers also. If you are that unyielding kind, non-listening kind, so it's better that I told her, "You please find some other church and um 6:24 more than more than one others also told her and she's not here today. So, such influences we don't want in the church. If you notice any such, please bring it to the notice of somebody who can help. 6:44 There's nothing wrong with that. And we will keep it confidential as Brother Suresh said. And uh Um we want to protect the church, especially our young people. So, uh let me read the next question. It's on the topic of discipleship. 7:02 How do I discipline myself in a godly way where I am self-controlled in terms of speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity? Um yeah, I am I am being bad at all all these five is is the question. 7:22 See, uh discipline and discipleship go together. So, a person who wants to be a disciple needs to discipline himself. And it is very important. 7:42 And uh It says in I think 2 Timothy 1:7, it says, "God has not given to us a spirit of timidity or of fear, but of power and of love and of discipline." 8:01 It says in one translation. In other translations, it says "self-control." So, the I mean, this virtue of self-control is one of the ninefold fruit of the Holy Spirit. The last one, it 8:20 says about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Is also a fruit of the Holy Spirit. So, see, our Christian life is not an easy life and none of us can 8:38 make it on our own. We all need the help of God, the help of the word of God, and the help of the Holy Spirit above all. And when we have the power of the Holy Spirit, then he will guide us into all the truth 8:58 and also he will help us in our time of weakness. Like it says in Romans 8, chapter 8, it says the spirit himself helps us in our time of need and in our uh weaknesses because we do not know 9:17 what we pray for. The spirit himself prays for us in groanings too deep for words, it says. So, go to God. Ultimately, he is the one who is going to help us. And the one who has called us to be his 9:35 disciple is the Lord. And when he calls you, he will also supply what is required. Like supposing you are recruited in the army, the government takes care of all your needs. 9:54 Your food, clothing, shelter, everything expense at the expense of the government. So, the same when the Lord calls you, he will provide. He will not call somebody and ask him to do it on his own. 10:13 The Lord supplies all our need. And discipline takes time. Don't get discouraged if you don't get discipline uh I mean, you don't become disciplined person in 1 week's time. And don't uh you know, throw in the towel, what they 10:31 say. Don't do that. Have patience and perseverance and endurance. And you will see the results in the long run. And control of speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity. Can 10:51 somebody read 2 Timothy uh 2:22? So, flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. And it says here, "Now in a large house, 11:11 there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood" I'm reading from 20. "wood, earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, 11:27 sanctified, useful to the master, prepared for every good work. Now, flee youthful lusts, pursue righteousness, faith, love, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 11:44 And 1 Timothy 4:12, Let no one look down on your youthfulness. See, both these verses are referring to the youth. Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, 12:04 love, faith, purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. And in Titus 2:7 also it says, In all things, show yourself to be an example 12:22 of good deeds with purity and doctrine, dignified. So, the Lord is there to help you. He will not deny you what you ask for. So, trust in the Lord and continue in a Christian faith. 12:41 And maybe ups and downs, but don't bother about it. Every time you fall, get up. Like they say, if you fall 1,000 times, learn to get up 1,000 times. And don't just lie down there wondering what I should do. 13:00 Get up. And the Lord is able to help you. Um whoever wrote this uh question, I believe it is yours is the kingdom of heaven. Because Jesus said, Blessed are the Blessed are the poor in spirit, for 13:18 theirs is the kingdom of heaven. So, I'm um when I look at the all of you young people, I feel very happy that at a very such a young age you got these questions that you wanted to be pure in speech, pure in character, conduct, 13:36 love, and faith, and purity. I thought of like this when my tomorrow my daughter comes and ask me, "Daddy, I want to always speak the truth. I always want to have love. I want to be content in all the circumstances." I'll be so thrilled. 13:54 I know it's going to be difficult for a a growing child to achieve what we run for, but I'll be happy. I'll encourage. So, may the Lord encourage you, brother or sister, who wrote this questions. You're in the right direction. 14:10 The the need in our heart, the purity of spirit, it's a blessing of God. And I want to read one verse from 2 Corinthians chapter 7. There was a person uh Paul writing this letter, and he made them sorrowful by his strong letter. 14:30 And see the result. 2 Corin- Corinthians chapter 7 verse 11. What earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you? What vindication of yourself, what indignation, what fear, what longing, 14:49 what zeal, what avenging of wrong? See, in all this uh need when we met with a need, it should not drive us away from the Lord, but it is it should drive us to Lord. Lord, I want to be pure in my speech, in my faith. So, I come to you. Please help 15:06 me. He will he will surely help you, brother or sister. And the the important thing is the word example. You know, Paul told Timothy to be an example in these five areas. And whenever we think of the word example, instantly our eyes should turn 15:25 to Jesus. Because he is our example in all things. And it's very good as this person has said, "I'm bad at all these five." We look at Jesus. And we see and don't take all five things together, but let the Holy Spirit speak to you in 15:43 the area of your need. Now, whether it's love or faith or purity or speech or conduct. We look at Jesus' example. We recognize that he did all things well. And just looking at him and appreciating how he did it well, 16:02 the Lord will do something in us in our area of need. Now, so take each area and turn your eyes to Jesus. Recognize your own need and trust that he will do it. Next question. Nine hours of my day I have to spend in college 16:22 where everyone else I see will be commenting, cracking jokes on teachers, other students, telling lies. How can I be a true Christian there? Also, Bible says "Rejoice always." How can I rejoice in such situations? 16:40 So, I I was reminded of the verse the what Jesus told his disciples in John 17. So, if you can look up John 17, he said a very wonderful thing and we should imagine Jesus speaking these words to us. He said, "I do not ask you to take them 16:58 out of the world, but keep them from the evil one." So, this question says, "Nine hours of the day I have to spend with you know, all my friends who are doing all these things in college." But Jesus' answer is, "I do not ask that 17:15 you take them out of the world, but keep them from the evil one. So, he is able to keep us in this situation. And verse 18 says, "As you sent me into the world, I have also sent them into the world." So, 17:34 we we should lay hold of the fact that just as Jesus came into this world, walked among men, lived in this in in a flesh like ours, was tempted in every way like us, he did it because he was sent into the world for a purpose. 17:53 And when I go to my college, it makes all the difference if I go there as Lord, you have sent me here. So, that I can stand for you. You know, and when the darkness is very great, the light shines brightly. So, the Lord is saying that I don't want 18:15 to take you out of this, but I will keep you from the evil one. And just as the Father sent me, just as the Father sent me, I am sending you to college. You know, go there and do what I would do. And just John 16, it says, "In this world you 18:33 will have tribulation. In this world you will have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world." So, just as Jesus overcame the world, then all the trials that he went through, the Lord is telling us, "Just as the 18:48 Father sent me, I have sent you. I'm sending you to college because I believe you can do what you should." And we have to receive this by faith and say, "Lord, however it's been in the past, you know, I want to go as somebody that 19:04 you are sending to college. This college, at this time, among these people, for your plan and purpose. And you know, he it says Bible says rejoice always, right? So we know Do we know where that is, which verse that is? 19:22 Philippians 4:4. Yeah. So Paul was in the prison and when he wrote those words, he didn't say rejoice always in the prison, he said rejoice in the Lord always. Right? So I think going to prison is worse than going to college, you know? But 19:41 you know, he knew that it was the Lord who had sent him there. And he was able to overcome. He was able to bring people to Christ. He was able to be a witness. So it's because the Lord has sent us that we can rejoice. Um there was a person called Richard 19:58 Wurmbrand. I think Can you raise your hand if you heard about him? Almost all of Many of us has heard about him. So the communist people put him into a prison and an isolated prison and they played a audio against God to brainwash. 20:17 I think they did for so many years, but it couldn't touch his faith. So he came out and he become a a more bolder witness. This verse Matt- Matthew chapter 15 verse uh 11. 20:35 It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth that defiles the man. It's not what goes from outside to inside, but uh the temptation we we can be in a place of where we are tempted, but that 20:55 will not defile us unless we yield our will and uh fall into that temptation. So no matter what difficult situation you face in college, you don't think that it's going to touch your faith unless you willfully yield. But rather it can make you strong if you 21:14 resist it and as brother Suresh said, rejoice in the Lord in the midst of all these things. Believing that Lord, I am a I'm your child. What a great love that you bestowed upon me that I should be called your child. So you've given me great privilege to 21:29 know you as my savior and Lord. So I don't belong to this world but I'm yours. You set apart yourself for the Lord and he will do great things with your life. There are certain things that the scripture says that you need to avoid. 21:45 Avoid certain type of people. Avoid certain type of conversation. It says in 2 Timothy 2:16, but avoid worldly and empty chatter. For it will lead to further ungodliness. If 22:03 you want to grow in ungodliness, get involved in such worldly and empty chatter, but if you avoid them you will grow in godliness if you read it the other way around. And in 2 Timothy 3:5 it says about certain people who profess 22:22 to be believers and Christians. But it speaks about them that they have a form of godliness although they have denied its power. You see that there is no power in their personal life. They are like chameleon, you know, like 22:42 whichever surroundings they are in, they merge with that. If the chameleon is in a green shrub on a green shrub, it'll turn green. If it's on a red carpet, it'll turn red. 23:00 Wherever it is, it gets adjusted to its surroundings. You should not be like that. You should have backbone. You should have your own convictions. And it says, "Although I mean, they have form of godliness, although they have denied its power, 23:20 avoid such people as these." Take heed to this. You need to avoid You need to cut off certain friends which are bad influence. Avoid them. Keep yourself pure 23:38 and undefiled. And uh regarding rejoicing, always it says, "Rejoice in the Lord, not in your circumstances." We cannot rejoice in our circumstances. We can give thanks in everything. 23:55 And but we are called to rejoice in the Lord, not in our circumstances. In the Lord. So, please keep that in mind. So, I'm reading the next question. It's on the topic of faith and failure. 24:14 I'm getting too discouraged due to study and peer pressure around. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I don't know what to do. I have no friends. That makes me feel lonely. What am I supposed to do? How should I not fall into this 24:29 temptation and have my faith intact? How do I not fall into this temptation and have my faith intact? You know, it says about faith in relation to faith that we don't walk by sight, but we walk by faith. Okay? If we just look around us and look 24:48 at what is happening to us, or we look inside and look at my feelings, I will get It's easy for me to get discouraged. Um I was thinking about, you know, a certain person. The Bible tells us about this person, okay? 25:08 Uh she was a widow. She didn't have any money. All that she had was two copper coins. That's it. Right? And she looked around and she saw all these people and they all had lots of money and they were, you know, 25:26 happily giving it. And this is all she had in the world. And she could have said many things about how No, why did God take my husband? I don't have people to look after me. This is all I have. This is all I have in the 25:42 world. But she turned her eyes and looked to God and said, "God deserves all that I have. He deserves my best." And I am in a special situation where maybe she didn't think all these things, but her heart was in the right place and 25:59 she said, "Let me give all that I have to the Lord because he's good. He's been good to me." And Jesus was watching. And he said she's given more than all these other people combined. See, all those other people who gave so 26:20 much, you know, what is their eternal desti- destiny? And what is their eternal testimony? The fact that Jesus looked at this woman and it's because she was in these hard situations and she gave her all, gave her best to the Lord. 26:38 That makes it so special and it's something that will stand for all time. You know, all the generations of people throughout history have been who have read this have been encouraged by it. And in all eternity, that that word of 26:51 testimony will stand. So to say that, "Okay, with whatever ability I have, study, peer pressure, I may not have friends, but I'm going to trust in the Lord. I'm going to put all It may be only two coins, but I'm going to give it to the Lord. 27:08 And I'm going to rejoice in him. And you can do something that will last beyond time. And it's just a matter of whether, you know, between you and the Lord, you say, "No, I'm not not going to look here and there. I'm going to look at him and give 27:24 him what belongs to him." That's the opportunity that each of us can have. And it's the opportunity that the weakest and the poorest and the most helpless among us can have. Um I can relate to what it is written in this question. It said, "I feel so 27:42 hopeless. I feel so helpless and I hopeless." Cuz I also feel helpless and hopeless in many situations. Says about Abraham, "In hope against hope, he believed." So if I feel helpless and hopeless, 28:01 that's the time to trust in the Lord. There it is written, "All things are possible if you believe. All things are possible if you believe." So the Lord is able to do much more beyond our thinking, our imagining in our helpless 28:18 and hopeless situations. And he want to glorify himself through our helplessness and hopelessness. So uh brother, sister, draw near to God with faith, believing that he will lead you. 28:34 And uh it's written about loneliness. I have no friends and that makes me feel lonely. That song says, "What a friend we have in Jesus." So, you can sing songs when you're alone. Lord, you are with me even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of 28:53 death, I will fear no evil, but you are with me. So, if you're a child of God, if you came to the Lord and accepted him as a savior and Lord, it is unthinkable that he will ever leave you alone. Like we sing in that song, "No, never alone." 29:09 Believe that the Lord is with you and his promise is that till the last day, he will be with you. He's not going to hold your hand. When you slip, he will be with you and guide you. Yeah, next question. I feel like I have sinned too much. 29:25 Be it sexually or in my thoughts to be a godly person. Even if I have changed and given up the ways of the world, I am always haunted by all that I have done. And when other people when other people 29:43 mention mention it, I have repented. I have repented of it, but I don't think I it will leave me. Its side effects will always be a part of my life. I really want to forsake my past and cling to God. What do I do? I I want to confess that this is 30:01 something that, you know, I have struggled with a lot. And where we where we think about our sin and we feel like we have sinned too much. And he says, "I've repented of it, but I don't think it will leave me." So, we know that God has joined 30:24 repentance and faith together. You know, we stress a lot on repentance because it's not stressed. But, if you just have repentance and you don't have faith, you don't have a solution. Because you have to turn away from idols and you have to turn to the 30:42 Lord. And uh Yeah, if we fix our eyes on our sin, it may seem like it's so huge and the debt is so great. And what we did was so wrong and wicked. And that's true. But then we have to think about Calvary 31:05 because that is also true. And we have to ask the question whether this sin was paid for in full or not. Was this left out? When Jesus said it is finished, wasn't he talking about my life as well? I don't know young people, but when I 31:28 when I just say this, you know, a joy floods my heart. It just floods my heart. It's like in one sense I feel like, "Oh, so much more." You know, because my sin was so great, so much more I want to rejoice in the Lord in what he has done. 31:44 And I see it so clearly that it is finished. Yeah, Paul Paul testified. So, we know, you know, Paul's testimony. Paul testified in 1 Timothy. He said, "It is a trustworthy statement deserving full acceptance that Jesus 32:02 Christ came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all." And he said, "I was formerly a blaspheme blasphemer, persecutor, violent aggressor." So, he said that yeah, when I think about my great sins, 32:21 you Have you murdered some other Christians? No, that's what Paul did. And he said, "Then it becomes clear to me that I am first in the line. That Jesus came to me, saved me first of all. And uh you know, and we know how Paul 32:41 lived his life. Right? And he said, "For this reason I found mercy so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate his perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in him for eternal life." So, Paul is saying, "Because of my great 32:59 sin, I want to be I want to show that I'm the best example of what the love of God what Jesus Christ can do." So, this aspect of side effects will always be with me. Yes, it should be with you. It should be with you the way same way 33:16 it was with Paul. Paul said, "I will never forget what a great sinner I was and because of that I want to be the foremost example of God's mercy." I want to, you know, show by my life how much how grateful I am and how much he 33:33 has done for me. Um and that's that's the side effect. That's what the Lord's grace can can do in my life. So, when we read this question, I had a me and I said I'll answer, but he said he will answer. Because we we I know about me, I failed 33:52 many times and uh I pray, "Lord, I all these failures, you do something. Don't waste these failures. I bring all my failures to you. Take all these things and and do something with it." Uh I think it's a Martin Luther. The 34:07 devil came to him and reminded him all the things what he did. So many things he accused him. And the Luther told the devil, "See, there are so many things which you don't know. You write all these things and write across washed in the blood of Christ." 34:27 So, when first someone first shared the gospel with me, I didn't believe. I thought my sins are big. The Lord cannot really forgive. But Bible says even even if your sin is like a scarlet, I'll make you like a wool. So, it's wonderful that 34:47 God takes all our sins and forgives us. Not only that, it says having been justified by faith, we have peace with God. He forget forgives our sin, but he also justifies us. That means he looks us at as if we always obeyed. 35:06 You know, Jesus had boldness got to go to the Father because he never sinned. He had such a access to the Father. Bible says when I I'm clothed with righteousness, that we too can boldly go to the throne of grace with confidence that he will 35:21 hear us. But there is one thing which we have to do practically. Because God has destroyed devil's power, but the person is not the devil is he's he's still alive, and God allows him to accuse his children to make us make his children strong. 35:38 If you could turn to Genesis 6:15, there's a beautiful picture. You can see something from that. Genesis 15. 15:8, this is a conversation between God and Abraham. Genesis 15:8, 35:57 "O Lord O O Lord God, how may I know that I will possess it?" He said to him, "Bring me a three-year-old heifer and a three-year-old female goat and a three-year-old ram and a turtledove and a young pigeon." And he brought all these things to him 36:17 and cut them in two and laid each half opposite to each other, but he did not cut the birds. So, Abraham obeyed and he brought all this offering and kept it there. But the birds of the prey came down upon the carcasses and Abraham drove them away away. 36:36 So I could see this picture. Here is the offering and the birds are coming. Abraham is driving that birds away. So the when we have given our life to the Lord, the evil thoughts, the doubts, we have to we have to resist the devil. Bible says, 36:53 "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." You try this next time when you filled with this thoughts of accusation and the confusion. Tell Tell the devil, "I'm redeemed in the blood of the lamb. I'm devil, you have no right over me. 37:09 You know, in Revelation we read, "They overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony." May the Lord strengthen you and equip you, dear brother sister. Um this is a question related to marriage. Uh what are the spiritual aspects do I 37:26 need to look at myself to know if I am ready for marriage? What are the spiritual aspects? First of all, see for all young people we say, "Don't think that you will get or you can get married to someone 37:45 here only in CFC because CFC is not the only church in the world and there are so many godly churches around and there are godly people in different churches. The main thing that we encourage our young people to do is if 38:05 you are a genuinely born again uh brother or a sister, look for a genuinely born again brother or a sister either here or elsewhere. They may be even in the Roman Catholic Church, but if willing to leave that 38:24 and uh and join you, be one with you, that's fine. But should have a genuine experience of rebirth. That is the basic qualification that you should look for in a person that you're going to get married to. 38:44 And uh all the other things are secondary. Because the Bible is very clear that oh, it says, "Don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. What relationship has light with darkness?" You're light and they're darkness. 39:02 "What relationship has Christ with Belial?" You're a Christian and they're children of the devil. And so on and so forth, so many things. So, you cannot make the member of Christ's body 39:21 uh to be part of the member of uh someone who is under the control of Satan. So, you are if you're thinking that I'll get married and then I'll bring him or her to CFC. 39:39 CFC is not God. I hope you know that. All repentance comes only from God and the Holy Spirit. We are not doing the work of the Holy Spirit here. Holy Spirit's Holy Spirit's work, he will do it. We are only here to speak, 39:58 encourage, exhort, and comfort you. So, don't be defiant and go and get married. People have done that and they have lost out and they've left the church also. So, don't you do that. And uh 40:18 um, this is the spiritual aspect, basically, that you should look for. And, um, to know if I'm ready for marriage. That is another thing you should, uh, think about. If you are not ready 40:36 for marriage, maybe be maybe due to various circumstances, like, for example, your health is not good. Maybe you need to recover your health and be strong. And, uh, if you have any health problem, please 40:55 get them addressed. Consult, uh, specialist and take proper treatment, so that you're healthy to get into married life. And also, if you're a man, the Bible is very clear in, um, 41:14 the book of Proverbs, I think in 24:17 or something, it says, "First, take care of your field, and then build your house." What that means is, first, try and 41:31 get a good education, get a good job, and when you're earning sufficient enough to take care of a family, then think of getting married married. And, uh, don't think of getting married when you are not, having a steady job, 41:51 steady income. And, see, these days people are, the moment they start working, they're getting big salary. And, uh, there are people waiting outside their office, banks, 42:08 bank representatives trying to offer you huge loans, and you will be tempted to take loan and try building houses and building vehicles and things like that. Don't do that and don't fall into debt trap. So, that supposing you lose the job, 42:27 what you will do? Who will pay for your EMI? You lose your house, you lose your vehicle. And what you paid also you lose. Don't do that. First, earn, establish yourself, get married, of your home. And you need a lot of money to establish 42:45 your home. You need to rent a house. You need to buy furniture and kitchen items and so many things. And then sooner or later you'll have children. You have to take care of the children. Then 43:02 their needs and as they grow up, their school fees. These days you know, it is not um That has also become a business now. Getting admission in school you have to shell out quite a lot of money. And they keep the 43:22 need keeps increasing year after year. So, take into consideration all these things and then think of getting married. Uh so, next question is also in relation to marriage. I'm looking 43:42 I'm looking for marriage. Do I have to tell my potential partner things that I did in my unconverted life? For example, being in a relationship with a man from the same church or city, getting physical, etc. Even if I repented of it and it was very long ago. 43:59 And if the answer is no, is it not like I'm hiding something from him? See, uh In situations like this, you have to go There is no standard answer to this, but you have to go case by case on an individual basis. When you're looking for 44:19 marriage, do I have to tell my potential partner that I did what I did in my unconverted days? Like for example, being in a relationship with a man or a woman from the same church or city, getting 44:37 physical, etc. See, in the church, we don't speak about the past, and you can't do anything about the past. And you can only 44:54 learn some lessons from it so that you won't repeat them in future. So, past is past, past is gone. And uh you need to See, if you have sinned against a 45:12 person, you need to apologize to that person, and it is a sin between you and God also. So, you need to confess first of all to God, 45:29 and that is in genuine repentance I'm talking about. Um There's a verse in Proverbs that says, "He who hides his transgressions will not receive mercy, but he who confesses it and forsakes it will find mercy. He will not prosper if 45:48 he hides it spiritually. So, you need to confess it and forsake it, not continue in that. Some people continue in that. They do, they confess, and they continue doing that on and on and on. For them 46:06 the scripture is very clear. You need to only look forward to what is written in Hebrews 6 and Hebrews 10. It's impossible for such people to renew them again to repentance, it says. If a person takes God's mercy for granted and keeps on continuing in the 46:25 same thing over and over again. But if he confesses it once for all and forsakes it he will have mercy from God. And then it says that um even if I have repented of it 46:50 it was very long ago. See the question is have you repented genuinely and forsaken it? Jesus told the woman caught in adultery in John 8. He said one thing, "Neither do I condemn you. 47:10 Go and sin no more." Why didn't he just stop there at "Neither do I condemn you go"? She could have gone and I mean continued in her profession. But he said, "Neither do I condemn you." 47:27 That means your past is taken care of. And see that you don't continue in that in future. So that is what the Lord expects of us. He when we come to him and repent and confess 47:45 to the Lord, he immediately forgives us. And he says, "Your sins and your iniquities will I remember no more." So if he doesn't want to remember, why should you remember? And you should just reject those thoughts and if such thoughts keep 48:04 coming, keep resisting them because they come from the accuser of the brethren, you know who he is. And his job is always to accuse us before God day and night, 24/7. 48:20 So, just reject his accusations and quote scripture that I have repented. If we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all iniquities. When I have done that, God has forgiven me. 48:38 And you need to accept that forgiveness and live in that. And don't live in sin. And if the answer is no, is it not like I'm hiding something from him? 48:54 See, here you need to see the situation. If the person knows about it and in spite of that wants to consider you, that's well and good. But if the person doesn't know about it 49:10 and you try to hide it, again, I say it depends from case to case. There is no standard answer to this. If you want to hide it and you get married and later on 49:27 he or she comes to know about your past. And if it is going to bring problem cause problems and bring division in the home, then you know, 49:45 the remainder of your married life will be in trouble. So, if the person can take it, better you know, 50:04 tell it in advance that my past was like this. And uh in spite of that, if you want to consider me, I leave the choice to you. Then, you wait and see. If the person is willing to accept you, 50:23 then you're walking in the light. And that other person also knows about your past, and she will not He or she will not look at you the way you were. She will look at you as a new creation in Christ. But, if you hide it and she or he comes 50:39 to know about it later on, then will ask, "Why did you hide it from me?" And that may create a lot of problem. Again, depends upon the maturity of the person who uh handles it. So, be 50:57 wise in this. And uh ask the Lord to guide you and give you guidance. Yeah, just two things. Just the other side of it is, you know, it stay away from any sort of unhealthy 51:15 curiosity or a desire to look deep into or cover uncover anybody else's wrongdoings. That is not That is not Christ-like. We We know that love covers a multitude of sins. At the same time, if it's something that could affect your life in the future, 51:32 I mean, repentance is very, very important. That makes all the difference. It's very good to get specific advice from a godly person that you trust. I know you trust that the Lord will talk to you, but if there is someone you can 51:45 talk to about the specific circumstances whether you know it's about your own life or you you know something about the other person's life. What should your approach be? Like brother Charles was saying, it depends. So, it's good to get godly 52:00 advice if you have someone you have confidence in at at in in deciding questions like this. There was a brother here who was young brother who was with us for a number of years. Then um he got married 52:18 to a um believing sister only. Um then see these software people are very in a in a sense dangerous people to deal with 52:38 because they can dig up into your past. So, he was a software man. He dug up into her past and found out that she had relationship uh maybe multiple relationship or whatever. He came to know all about her past after getting married. 52:56 Then it was chaos, devastation took place. And the marriage was destroyed and they got separated. And they left the church. So, it should not it should not happen if 53:13 only she had told about her past and he was willing to accept her despite that, then the marriage would have been okay. But she hid it and he discovered it later. And he was not willing to continue with her 53:32 even though she was willing to continue with him. So, these are examples that we have in our um midst. So, be very careful. Uh next is is it okay to be friends and date the person 53:52 before considering for marriage? Like brother Charles said, I want to say this is I'll I'll give you one example. Let's say you put your profile in a matrimonial website. You got in touch with a person. Nobody get involved. 54:10 And then you go ahead and meet him. Uh I don't believe uh you should go ahead like that. If in this case, I believe you you should take a godly counsel. You must take help if you are a committed brother or sister in the 54:26 church. Um brothers are here to help. Brother Charles and brother John helped in this matter so many years. So, you can take their help. Um as I said uh uh be friends and date the date the person. 54:44 I don't know till what extent. But definitely going alone without involving others is uh dangerous. So, it will take time to get to know a person, but so please take help till you each step uh you take help in this matter. 55:03 Yeah, whenever I see a question that starts, "Is it okay?" I am I am automatically, you know, quite quite worried because we don't live our Christian life on the basis of is it okay. Uh that is like will I break the law? 55:18 How close to the line can I go, you know, without falling off? That's uh Why would you want to be friends and date if you are not considering marriage? Is that in the will of God? Is that what God wants you to do? 55:37 Is that the way Jesus would live? I don't think the answer to those questions can be yes. And there are all sorts of circumstances and cultural considerations, but I don't think the answer to those questions can be yes. 55:51 Now, if you are serious about considering marriage, that consideration may take time. And you must meet who It's, you know, there are people who say, "No, I trust God. I will get married without seeing the person." Please don't do that. That's not God's 56:07 will. That's not wise behavior. Uh Yeah, so if you're serious about considering marriage, get godly advice. Get godly counsel. The biggest danger is that I will lean on my understanding. That's the big danger. 56:26 That I will be wise in my own eyes. I will imagine I know what what is good for me. So, you know, don't do that. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Get help. Get counsel. Uh and and and take it forward. I just wanted to add one more thing. So, 56:44 now, if you want to buy a phone, you check the specification, you search, you read the reviews, and go about it. So, we are all expert how to get uh things online in a best price, best offer. But never ever approach the matter of 56:58 marriage in that way. Fear God in this matter. I heard when I see how uh Zach, how he approached the marriage, that really challenges me with so much of fear and prayer. This one decision can affect your life, affect your ministry, what God has 57:13 planned for you. So, please take help from the initial steps itself. I'll I'll read the question. When dealing with uh when dealing with people in college or work, I get annoyed at some things that they do, such as cursing, 57:29 talking ill of others, copying, etc. But I can't not be around them as we need to do projects together. What can I do at this point? And how do I overcome anger and have compassion towards unconverted people like Jesus did? 57:45 See, one of the things that that's very helpful is to I I think a godly man, I think it may be Mother Teresa or something who said, you know, but I know I'm not I'm not sure. Yeah, Mother Teresa said there is a Hitler in my heart, right? 58:03 Another godly person I know, he looked at some some some drunken man and said, "There I go but for the grace of God." Just to remember that all that we have is something that we have received by God controlling our circumstances, 58:22 allowing us to hear what we have heard, and and, you know, shining his light in our life. And to recognize that it's only because of that that I know better. Um then it will really help us to deal with 58:41 people unconverted people with with more compassion. And um yeah, we we just we we take it for granted, but to stop and say that it's not me, Lord. It's your goodness. It's your intervention in my life. And uh 59:01 and then the opportunities for me to shine as a light or to be a good example or to, you know, help somebody else to see uh to see the light of of of the of the Lord and his goodness and love. Um 59:20 yeah, so it's very very important that we are merciful. Right? Says, you know, be merciful just as your father is merciful. And we we have to repent of that if, you know, whenever we we take our eyes away 59:40 from seeing what the Lord how good the Lord was to us and we have an unforgiving spirit uh towards towards others. And this will take time. It will take time. But, you know, it's like everything else. We realize that oh, I need to repent of this. 59:56 It's not just enough that I have changed. But, you know, I must change in how I look at those, you know, who have not received the goodness and the mercy of the Lord that I have. And one thing it's written it says, "I can't be around them as I as we need to 1:00:14 do projects together." Yeah, you don't get involved your part you can say uh if something they ask you to copy or do something adjustment, you can say, "I'm a Christian. I'm sorry, I can't do that." You're not responsible for what 1:00:28 unless you're a leader or something where you have to influence. You don't have to worry about what they're doing. It's your boundary you keep. But if you're a leader, you're responsible, yes, then it's different. And the last part of it is then how do I 1:00:42 overcome anger and have compassion towards unconverted people like Jesus did? See, anger is something that is one letter short of danger. And uh anger lingers. It doesn't go just like that. 1:01:01 Just because you become a believer, it doesn't mean that all these things I mean, it says there in 2nd Corinthians 5:17, "All things passed away. Behold, all things have become new." But you'll still see anger, 1:01:21 jealousy, all those things are there, but but it's speaking about the past that is taken care of all those things. I've been wiped off. Your slate is clean. But then you need to deal with 1:01:39 the present from that moment onwards all through your life as long as you have you live in the flesh. We have to battle these. Anger, jealousy, wrath, envy, hatred, so on and so forth. All these works of the flesh 1:01:57 that we need to deal with one by one as and when we discover them in our flesh. And this takes a long time and lifetime. So, don't you ever say that I have overcome anger and all that. And we cannot say 1:02:17 that we can control it. We can You know, there is a verse in Ephesians. It said, "Be ye angry." It's a command. But sin not. So, when you're angry, see that you do not sin. That's very important. 1:02:36 And the Lord is able to replace that with the by the Holy Spirit with love, peace, patience. Especially impatient people get ang- angry soon. So, all these things, you know, the 1:02:56 fruit of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit working in in you in tandem with the word of God will strengthen you in the inner man and will keep on renewing you day by day as you yield to him 1:03:14 in different circumstances and you recognize you lost your temper today, go to God and say, "Lord, I call it by name. Don't say it's my mistake or it's my weakness. 1:03:30 Call it by name. Lord, I got angry here. Please have mercy on me. Forgive me. Help me not to do it again." So, if you do that, God will give you victory. It comes slowly, steadily. You need to have patience, too. Just 1:03:49 like the farmer has patience about his crop till he gets comes to the time of harvest. Like that, regarding compassion, also the same thing. The Lord himself is compassionate. In compassion, he had 1:04:08 mercy on us, forgive all our sins, and he wants us to be compassionate just like he has been compassionate and merciful to us. So, we are called to follow him who has shown us the way.
