0:18 Okay. This is going to be a question and answer time. If you have read the Gospels, you will notice that Jesus had many informal question answer times. Not that he asked 0:36 people to write questions and give it, but many times you read in the Gospels people would come up to Jesus and say, "What about this? Or what about that?" And there were times when he answered them in detail. There were other times when he did not 0:54 answer them when he felt the spirit of the questioner was wrong. You know, once some people asked him a question and he said, "Before I answer that, let me ask you a question. Was John the Baptist, was his baptism from 1:12 heaven or from men?" And they were tossing it out in their mind. If we say it was from men, all the people will turn against us because they knew he was a prophet. If we say it's from heaven, he'll ask us, "Why didn't you believe him then?" 1:27 So, they were diplomatic and they said, "Lord, we can't answer that." He said, "Well, I'm not going to answer your question either." So, I find that Jesus did not answer everybody who came to him. If you read the Gospels with an open mind, 1:43 one of the wonderful things I see is he had discernment. It's one of the greatest needs of leadership in the church today is discernment. Uh Uh, I don't mean the type of discernment that we get through growing up and 2:00 becoming mature as a human being. It's a supernatural gift God gives by which you can make out if a person's genuine or is a crook. Uh, I'm not saying Jesus didn't have discernment when he allowed Judas Iscariot to be there. 2:19 But there was a purpose. Sometimes God allows crooks like Judas Iscariot to be in a church. Uh, I remember in uh, it was not really a CFC person, but another person who was a bit crooked. And he had been 2:38 taking advantage of a lot of people. And uh, finally, I was involved in that situation and I had to remove him from leadership. But by the time he had already exploited so many people. Financially, I mean. So, important reason was he he was never a 2:57 CFC person. He came in from outside, never understood our values. So, when I discovered that he had cheated so many people, I asked the Lord, I said, "Lord, why did you why didn't you allow me to discover this earlier?" 3:11 Because so many people have been exploited. And the Lord said to me, this is many years ago, he said, "You're not as patient as I am." So, then I discovered sometimes God is long-suffering with people. Like he allowed Judas Iscariot 3 and 1/2 3:28 years to repent, even though he knew he was a crook. So, sometimes God allows a crooked person to remain in a church for some time before exposing him. Uh, because God is patient with him, hoping he will change. And if he doesn't change, then 3:47 he gets exposed. So, the Lord's ways are always wisest and as human beings we need to learn divine wisdom. Okay, now these are questions that a few of them which I'll try and answer 4:06 in our first session. Many of these questions are about marriage. Okay, first question is obviously someone who is single what should I look for when looking for a spouse? 4:24 A boy or a girl. Well, number one obviously the person must be one who loves Jesus Christ and who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Otherwise, we have to see that there's a difference 4:43 between those who know the Lord and those who don't know the Lord. And if God sees that I'm more interested in earthly values or person's a good looking person or person's a rich person or he's got a good job or he's got a 5:02 good car or a good house or he's a very pleasant person to talk to these things will not lead you to a good marriage. The best marriage in the world is the one where Christ is always in the middle. So before you get married itself 5:20 Christ must be number one in that person's life. And Christ must be number one in your life. Then when you come together you will not make each other number one. You'll make Jesus number one and your spouse will be number two. That is the 5:38 best and happiest marriage that there can ever be. There'll never be a divorce in that marriage, they'll never separate if they keep Jesus as number one in the middle. It's when they make each other number one. It can end up in divorce. 5:54 It can end up with a lot of fighting and quarreling because there's no one in the middle to keep them together. Christ must be in the middle. So, the first thing you got to look for in the spouse is does he love Jesus Christ? Does she love 6:12 Jesus? Is there some evidence of it in their life? And they And you can find that out by number of things. You can find that out by talking to that person. Just, for example, asking a simple question like I ask people, uh 6:29 when did you come to know Jesus as your savior and Lord? And I've heard some people tell me, "Well, I've known him from I was born in a Christian family and I knew him from childhood. Then I know the guy's not converted at all. 6:47 Nobody is born as a Christian. We're all born as heathen. A time must come where we pass out of darkness into life. So, whenever I've heard people give me this time this type of answer, "Oh, I was born in a Christian family and I 7:02 We've always been God-fearing and my parents were God-fearing and I've known Christ from the beginning." I said, "It's clear to me this person doesn't know Jesus at all. He doesn't know the difference between religion and Christ." 7:15 So, that's the first thing you need to discern when you talk to a person. Does this person know Jesus? And uh just since man is spirit, soul, and body, there's a verse 1 Thessalonians 5:23 which says, "Man is three parts 7:33 just like God is a trinity. Man is also in one sense a trinity, spirit, soul, and body. Spirit is the deepest part of us by which we connect with Christ. Soul is our mind and our emotions, etc. 7:50 So, in considering a person we need to think about our intellectual compatibility in the sense of being able to communicate. Those are things the worldly people also look at, so I don't need to mention it. That we are able to communicate with 8:04 each other, etc. And then of course, body is another part. We are not angels. So, there has to be a certain amount of physical attraction as well. Physical attraction is not a sin. Because God has made us with bodies. Now, physical attraction doesn't mean 8:22 that the boy has got to be the most handsome person in the world or the girl is a beauty queen or any such thing. Like the proverb says, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. So, you can consider someone very attractive 8:38 whom somebody else does not consider attractive. That's okay. The person must be attractive in your eyes. So, spirit, soul, and body where you give primary value to what is spiritual and then to the other social, intellectual qualities, and physical 8:55 attractiveness. Those are what we look for in that in that order. And then of course, we must pray because there may be a number of people like that who are suitable. Lord, who's the one most suited for me? And as you pray about it, 9:10 God will give you a peace in your heart as you consider someone or as you talk to a person more and more. If that peace increases in your heart, that is how we know the will of God. There's a verse in Romans 8:6 which says the mind of the Holy Spirit 9:27 is peace. That's how we know the mind of the Holy Spirit. There's a peace in my heart as I think about that particular course of action, whether it's marrying a person, choosing a job, buying a house, or anything, peace in 9:42 the heart. Okay. Another question is, how long should we date pre-engagement? Now, this is there's no standard answer on this, and it's different in different cultures. 10:02 In India, it's not advisable for a Christian person to go out regularly with a girl whom, you know, whom he's considering for marriage because the culture will is such that you your testimony will be spoiled. 10:21 So, one has to consider the culture we live in and not offend people by conduct that doesn't look good in their eyes. You may say, "Uh do we have to bother about what other people say? Aren't we free from that?" Well, not 10:40 entirely because the Bible says, um in 2 Corinthians 8 and verse 21, "We must have a concern for what is right, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men." I don't know whether you have seen that 10:58 verse, 2 Corinthians 8:21. We must be concerned about our testimony before people that they don't get a wrong impression. There's another verse in Thessalonians which says, "Abstain from the appearance of evil." Not just evil, 11:15 but even the appearance of evil. That's in 1 Thessalonians and chapter 5. So, we have to stay away from anything that will give people a bad impression. So, in this matter of dating here 11:33 the purpose is if I'm not if you're not seriously considering a person for marriage I don't think you should raise hopes in that person by going out frequently that person. That's not fair to a person. It's only if you're No, 11:50 after meeting a person and uh spending a little time some time with him or her, you discover you're not suited, that's okay. But if right from the beginning you don't really have any serious intention of marriage, you just want to have some 12:04 uh fun and I don't mean sexual fun, just the fun of going out with someone. That's in you give ideas, particularly girls can get ideas very easily and we must be fair to them. So, there's no fixed period on this. If it's because the Bible doesn't lay 12:23 down a period like this. And uh once you're engaged I would say one should get married as soon as possible. Very often I found that people say, "I don't have enough money to have a wedding all the expenses connected with the 12:43 wedding." Well, you know if you're willing to be free from the opinions of men you can have a very simple wedding where you don't have much expense because so much of expense in a wedding is honor seeking. Seeking honor from people that I had a 13:03 grand wedding and I invited so many people and we had a grand meal. What's all what's it for? In India which is a poor country, I tell people don't waste too much money on a wedding feast. If you don't have my and never borrow 13:16 money to conduct a wedding. That's a sin. Bible says, "Owe no man anything." If you can't afford a grand dinner like other people can when they invite people to just be honest and say I can't afford that. And we've encouraged many people just 13:34 sometimes after wedding just a cup of tea and a cup of coffee and cookie and that's it. Now, a lot of people feel that's terrible. Well, well, what what is the other alternative? Borrow money? Disobey God's word? No. I thank God for brothers in our 13:49 church who've been bold enough to be free from the opinions of men. I remember one wedding in one CFC wedding where the brother was very poor. And I taught these people strongly, never get into debt. And if you have some amount of money, use that money to 14:06 buy something for your home instead of wasting it all on day one on a grand wedding just to get honor from people. So, we've taught some radical things. So, this brother had very little. So, the wedding after the hall wedding 14:18 was over in the hall, he said, "Folks, there's a can of Coke outside there. That's our reception. Pick up one as you go out." I'm proud of that brother because he was more interested in obeying God's word which says, "Owe no 14:35 man anything." than seeking honor from men. And if he had a little money, he used it for his family. But there are very few people. Most people are such slaves to the opinions of men that they always want to get honor from them. No, 14:49 somebody else has got plenty money, I've got no objection. You know, like they say, "Cut your coat according to your cloth." And God has given different amounts of money for different people. I always think of our income or our bank balance as a 15:02 circle God has drawn around us. Think of it. And don't go outside that circle. Some people's circle is very small. Stay inside the circle. Some people's circle is huge. Don't envy them. Stay inside the circle. That's all I 15:20 say. Don't get into debt and don't waste money. How old should you be? There again, to get married. There again, it's different for different The main thing is it says in the book of Proverbs, you must first establish your 15:37 business and then build your house, which means first earn your liv- be able to earn your living enough to support a family, then get married. Uh that's the sensible thing. And then, of course, you must be mature enough to 15:50 get married. So, one cannot make a law on this. The Old Testament, the law was until you're 20 years old, you're not an adult. I know in United States, a person becomes an adult at the age of 18. But you read the Old Testament, you 16:07 know, when the people who came the Israelites who came to the came out of Egypt, God said, "All those who are over 20 must join the army. All the others are not cannot." And when they came to the borders of the promised land, 16:22 he said, "All those who are over 20, you're going to be punished for 40 years." Because you disobeyed. What about those who are under 20? Well, we treat them like children. They will not be punished. So, I see many places in the Old Testament. 16:36 That's So, I'd say that was the age God chose for a between adult and child. And certainly, we must be adult, but we must also be able to support ourselves financially before we get married. Um This is a personal question. 16:54 While your children were at home, how did you conduct family worship, devotion, fellowship time? Was it scheduled, sporadic, long or short? Okay, I'll tell you honestly. 17:12 I wanted my children not to be ritualistic Christians who did all the right things according to the book but did not love Jesus. I wanted them to grow up to love Jesus Christ. I wanted them to grow up to love the 17:30 church. We had a small house church. I wanted them to grow to love the brothers and sisters in the church. And I wanted them to be feel free to do anything which is not sinful and which is not going to hurt other people. 17:47 And I didn't want to make so many rules that you can't do this and you can't do that and you can't do the other thing. If it was sinful, yes. We would avoid it. So, I did not even make a rule concerning family prayer. Now, 18:03 I I say this, you don't have to follow my uh what I did because in the Bible there is no place which says you must get up in the morning, and get everybody out of bed, and have a family prayer. It's a very good thing and a lot 18:17 of people do it. But I've also seen a lot of families that do it where the children grow up rebellious. So, I knew having observed it, I observed a lot before I got married and had children. I said, "Lord, that doesn't seem to be 18:33 the solution to get people in a natural way to love Jesus and that in the family we don't treat religion like a something we got to just do and get out of the way and then get on with life and enjoy ourselves. We want religion, 18:50 Christianity itself, to be the enjoyable thing. That we enjoy doing what is right. We enjoy fellowship. It's not some burden. So, uh our children had to go to school. There's no such thing as homeschooling in India. Everybody goes to a public 19:07 school. And so, they had to get up early in the morning to go to school. And I didn't want to pull them all out of bed at 5:30 in the morning and they sit there sleepily and say we're having family prayer. And I never wanted to do that. They'd 19:24 get fed up with God if I did that. Now, some people do it, I say fine. I'm just telling you the question is how I did it. And I'm not saying that is the right way. I'm just telling you how I did it. And I'll tell you the reason why I did I 19:37 did not want them to turn turn off against Christ and Christianity. I wanted them to see Christianity as a thoroughly enjoyable thing. Not not enjoyable sinfully, but something we can really enjoy. And so when they were getting ready in the 19:54 morning for school, we never had any such thing as reading the Bible or family prayer. I mean, if it was I would get up in the morning and read the scripture myself. But they wouldn't always be up so early. And um I felt that 20:13 the only thing we did in the morning was just before they went to school, I would pray with them, you know, 1 minute. So that we commit them to the Lord as they go to school that day. And they would go. That's what we did. 20:26 And then the day was busy. Then in the evening when we came together for dinner, that was the time where we were more relaxed cuz the day was over, school was over. And we would sit at the table and then I would take out 20:41 um some type of daily reading book with just a few verses on the same subject per day, you know. There are some books like that for daily reading. Not commentaries written by men. There's a little book called Daily Light, 20:59 which is just compilations of scripture on the same topic for each day. So we read scripture, scripture on the same topic, and that's what we read at the dining table and um read the verses and if sometimes make a few comments on it 21:15 and then we would pray and have our meal and that was not the end of our talking about spiritual things. While we were eating we would continue. Not always, sometimes, about what happened in school or 21:34 why we don't do certain things and why we don't cheat. Not every day same subject but different different things would come up. But in a very natural way. I didn't try to force religion or religious subjects at our dinner time. In a very natural 21:48 way if something came up and there was an opportunity to explain the reason why we do things in a certain way as Christians. It is a great opportunity but it is in a more relaxed atmosphere. So this is how we did it and um 22:06 I personally say that if I had to live my life again, I would do it the same way. I don't regret it because none of my children turned off against religion or Christ because I didn't trust it down their throat. Uh we did it in a natural way. 22:24 We taught them and then it was not just that sometimes, you know, during the day we were playing together, some indoor game or something like that. A question could come up. So it was very natural to talk about spiritual things 22:38 during the day as well. You know, if something happened in school and some um buddy did something wrong, why don't we don't do that as Christians? Why we don't cheat in examinations? And why we don't give bribes to people. 22:51 It is a very common thing. People give bribes to the teachers to get more marks. More in college than in school. Why we don't do these things? Because we are Christians and it's better to fail than to cheat and pass things like this. 23:06 So, when Christianity becomes a normal subject of conversation in ordinary situations throughout the day, we don't have to a specified half an hour when we say, "Okay, now we're going to talk about spiritual things." And they 23:19 say, "Okay, thank God, that's over. Now, we can talk about everything else in the world." It's not to be like that. That's That has been my philosophy, and um it's the same today. I don't regret it because I see Jesus lived in a very natural way. 23:36 But, we did have when we when it came to Sunday, we did have a specified time when we go to a meeting or Wednesday evening meeting. If um if they had a an examination to study for on Thursday, they were permitted not to come for the 23:52 Wednesday evening meeting. Okay, sit down and study for your exam because I didn't feel that uh if you haven't studied for your examination tomorrow morning, going for a meeting this evening is not the wisest thing to do. 24:06 I think if you ask Jesus, he'd say, "Sit down and study. There's no glory in failing tomorrow morning the examination saying I went to a meeting today." That's my philosophy. I'm not a religious person. I'm a Christian. 24:17 Uh I'm not a legalist who thinks that these things if you tick off, tick off, tick off, I'm a Christian. It's a lot of rubbish. Christianity should be a natural thing for me. That's why to me, my Christianity has been exciting. 24:29 I see so many preachers who've been serving the Lord even a few years, they're bored. I'm not bored. I've been preaching 50 years in full-time Christian work, but it's the most exciting life for me because it's not a it's something in one compartment. All 24:44 of my life is Christianity. And I wanted my children all of their life to be Christianity. They went to work, you must be a Christian in your place of work. Never treat anybody unfairly. Be kind and merciful to everyone. 24:56 So, that's why we wanted a natural of Christianity in our homes. Okay. Okay, how careful should we be in allowing our children to have friendships with um Christians whose doctrines are different? Well, 25:17 see, in India, we have 98% non-Christian. So, 98% of the children in your neighborhood are going to be non-Christian. So, we didn't have the luxury of selecting only wholehearted believers' 25:35 children to play with. We said, children playing games, they can play with anybody. And they can learn things there. Uh I remember when I mean, they'd play outside our house with other neighbors' children, and I remember one incident 25:51 where one of my children were 4 or 5 years old, playing with the neighbor children, and they hit each other, and then um that type of thing happened with children. So, I don't remember all the details, but I didn't know who was at fault first, 26:07 who uh who hit first. It's very difficult to find out when two children who hit first. So, I only said, "See, if you hit him, you must apologize. Whether he's going to apologize to you or not is unimportant." So, I took my little son, I went to the 26:25 neighbor's house, and knocked, and said, said to the dad there, "My son wants to say something to your son." Right? Already, you know, tutored him what to say. Say, "I'm sorry So, he said, "I'm sorry." 26:43 And that other boy graciously accepted without apologizing himself. I said, "Fine." I came back and said, "See, they're not Christians." So, we don't expect them to say sorry, not at all. Don't wait for them to say sorry, but we 26:59 got to do it. Even if he hit you first, but you hit him back. Okay, you feel sorry for that and say. So, there were little things like this where you know, in small small things we didn't say we must only play with Christians or 27:13 uh I think we learn a lot when we allow our children from childhood to mingle with others, but I would not allow them to go to somebody's home uh if I felt that they could be watching something there on television which I would not approve 27:29 of. So, I was very very strict about allowing my children uh to go to someone else's home until they were, you know, 16 17 years old and they understood something. When they were small uh I had I was very careful on that. 27:45 Even if they got offended with that, they wouldn't understand the reason for it. That's fine. So, we had to be We had to protect our children from influences which they don't know are bad for them. And particularly nowadays, and I'm 27:57 talking about 35 years ago in India when things were much easier. So, we had to be careful. Um So, how do I make sure that my Bible study leads to life and not just to the tree of knowledge. 28:16 Okay. One is if I see something written here which I've not obeyed I say, "Lord, I want to obey that." And take it seriously until you have obeyed it. 28:33 And it may take years. But for example, I read verses in scripture like saying uh I'll give you one example. Ephesians 4 verse 31. Let all bitterness, all wrath, all 28:53 anger, all slander be put away from you along with all malice. Think if there was only one verse in the whole Bible, just that one verse. You can spend your lifetime just trying to obey that. All bitterness 29:12 to be put away from you? That means you don't have a bitterness against a single person in the universe, in the world. No bitterness against your wife or mother-in-law or anyone. Or relatives or neighbors or no bitterness against anyone. 29:31 It says all put away. And that's I'm just There are 31,000 verses in the Bible. This is just one of them. Let all anger If I say, "Let's remove all the chairs from this hall." How many chairs will be left? Zero. 29:49 Let all anger be put away. How much is left? It should be zero. So, when you read verses like that, tree of knowledge means you memorize it. Okay, I'm going to remember and shut my eyes and say Ephesians 4:31. I learn I 30:05 memorize it. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and malice and let it be put away along with slander along with all malice. Okay, got it. I'll go to the next verse. What have you got? Nothing. But if you stop there and say, "Have I 30:17 done that? Slander. Have I stopped speaking evil about others? Let all slander be put away." You can stop at that one verse. You know, there are times when I've meditated on scripture. I'll tell you honestly. I When I'm reading through scripture 30:35 consistently from chapter by chapter and I come sometimes come to a verse, used to happen more in the olden days. And I say, "Boy, that Why was there no command in the Old 32:29 Testament saying, "Don't be angry"? I mean, there could have been 11th commandment, "Don't be angry." Or a 12th commandment saying, "Don't lust after women." Why wasn't it there? Because until the Holy Spirit came to dwell in a person's heart, 32:45 they it's impossible to obey it. And why in the world give children a command which they can't obey? That's why he never gave that in the old covenant. But you won't find a verse like this in the Old Testament, "Rejoice 32:56 in the Lord always." Because it is impossible. But it is in the New Testament, which means it's possible now. And so I say, "Lord, it must be possible now." That means I've not made full use of the power of the Holy Spirit that I can 33:14 have. You know, it says in Romans 14:17, "The kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit." So that's the thing. If I'm filled with the Holy Spirit, I'll be able to rejoice always. If I take up my cross every day and die 33:31 to myself every day from morning onwards, I will be able to rejoice in the Lord always. And I want that life. It took years, but I was determined, determined to come to that place. And by God's grace, I can say I'm there 33:45 today. For some time now. Then I went two verses down and I read another verse, Philippians 4:6, "Be anxious for nothing." Nothing? Now there's a difference between being concerned and being anxious. I need to distinguish between that. 34:03 I mean, if your children are supposed to come back from school at a certain time and they don't turn up, and they are more than 1 hour late, and if you are not concerned, you're a pretty useless parent. You should be concerned. 34:14 But anxious is another thing. Anxious is to get into a panic. As if there's no God anywhere, and I'm I'm on my own now. I'm never on my own. Whatever may happen, I'm never on my own. God is there. And I must 34:34 I've been in numerous situations in my life. I'm 77 now, I can imagine how many situations I face and I've been converted for 57 years. How many situations I must have faced in my life where possibility of anxiety in the early days, I used to be anxious 34:49 because nobody taught me these are important commands to obey. But once I began to take my Christian life seriously after I entered into the new covenant and being filled with the Holy Spirit then I began to take commands seriously. 35:03 A lot of Christians are not really filled with the Holy Spirit. They just go through some emotional experience and some Pentecostal charismatics say "You got it." I say "You got nothing." You haven't You haven't learned to take 35:12 scripture seriously. What type of Holy Spirit was that? The Holy Spirit wrote this book and if he fills you, he'll teach you something from it. So if you're not taking these commands seriously, something is wrong. So that is what how we ensure that it 35:30 doesn't become just a book of knowledge, but there are I've just given you one or two examples. There are other verses like in everything give thanks. You never find that verse in the Old Testament. Cuz people couldn't do it, but they can 35:41 in the New Testament. So what I learned is when you're filled with the Holy Spirit, some wonderful possibilities. It's like saying you go back two centuries, 200 years ago, they didn't have computers. They didn't have cars. They didn't have 35:55 electricity. And so many other things we have today, all the expensive equipment in hospitals to detect sicknesses and all. Would you like to go back to 200 years ago? Or 200 50 years ago this was not even a free country in the 36:15 United States. You were under the British. You want to go back to that? People say "No, no, no, no. We'd like to live in this time." It's exactly like that. 2,000 years ago, on the day of Pentecost, nearly 2,000 years ago, 36:30 the old covenant was abolished. It's like in in this country in 1776, George Washington said, "The British are gone. They're no longer your rulers." Great. That's what happened on the day of Pentecost. The old covenant is abolished. 36:49 You're not under that anymore. You're under a new covenant. The Holy Spirit has come. Now you can rejoice always. You can be anxious for nothing. You can give thanks always. Wonderful possibility. Freedom. No more bondage. 37:01 So, if you take it like that, the book Bible will never be a book of knowledge. It'll be life. Okay, how can a wife practically respect her husband, and how can a husband practically love his wife? Well, you know, these are the two things 37:16 mentioned in Ephesians 5 and verse 33. The two things mentioned for husband and wife, after a section on husband-wife relationships, he sums it up. The Holy Spirit sums it up by two statements. One, the 37:35 husband must love his wife as himself. What which teaches me, what does a wife need most of all from her husband? Love. And she must be sure of it. That you really love her 37:54 in a world filled with other women and all types of temptations, that you love her and you're not interested in anybody else, and you will not be interested in anybody else. That you really love her, and she must know it. 38:07 It's not just enough to say, "Well, I told you that 30 years ago that I loved you." Okay. No, she must know today. I'm not saying that, like the psychologists say, call her up 10 times a day and say, "I love you, honey. I 38:19 love" I'm not talking about that type of stuff. She see it that you really love her. And as the Bible says, love is seen in action. If she's sure that you she you'll really love her, whichever way you show it, maybe different in different cultures. 38:35 But if she's sure that that's the most important thing all husbands must know. The most important thing a wife wants from you is assurance that you love her. Ephesians 5:33. Okay. And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. 38:50 So what is the most important thing your husband expects from you, wives? Respect. Respect. More than sex, believe it or not. Respect. And if you really want a good relationship as husband and wife, these are the two 39:09 things. The Ephesians 5:33. The husband must show assure his wife that he loves her by action, attitude, and the wife shows her respect for her husband by attitude, action, etc. and words. 39:27 So I believe that is the best way to show it in different ways. I'm mixed then no need to mention different things. Uh you know, I notice here in the United States a lot of husbands bring flowers for their wives on their anniversary. Nobody 39:47 does it in India. First of all, it's a waste of money. No. You know, I'll tell you I've discovered one thing between difference between West and East. Be patient with me. I I born and brought up in India all my life. In the West 40:06 time is more important than money. In the East, money is more important than time. Because we earn so little. Here, if somebody's clothes get a bit frayed, who's going to 40:25 mend it and stitch it? Throw it away. Too much time mending it. Time is very important. No No shortage of money. Go and buy another one. In India, they'll mend it 10 times and keep using it. And the same thing in many many areas. 40:43 So, that's the reason why people don't waste money buying flowers for their wives on Buy something practical and useful for the home. Some kitchen gadget instead of a useless flower. But, I can quite understand here where flowers mean such a lot. So, 41:00 please go ahead and buy it for your wives. I never bought one flower for my wife. I bought a lot of useful things for the house. I'm just saying uh there are different ways in which we show our love and affection. The important thing is the wife must know 41:18 that you really love her and that the husband must know that you really respect him. It's very important that you don't you know, demean your husband or your wife publicly. I mean, if you do crack a joke, crack it at 41:37 yourself, not at your partner. And uh never say anything that will be demeaning. We have to respect each person's dignity. That song, you know, they uh and they'll know we are Christians 41:54 by our love, by our love. Uh one line in it says, "We'll guard each man's dignity." I I really appreciate that line. And save each man's dignity and his sense of pride in being a human being. 42:12 That's how we show our love. Okay, very important because sometimes we don't uh respect the dignity of the other person in public. Okay. If someone did evil to me, someone who's close to me and I forgive him, 42:30 but whenever I see him, I feel angry. Does this mean that I have not forgiven him? No, that anger could be a temptation. You know, I'm not saying you will never be tempted to be angry, but you can say no to it. Do you know 42:45 that even Jesus was tempted? Let me ask you, if a thought comes into your mind, "Fall down and worship the devil." Would you feel bad? Boy, what a horrible thought. Do you know that thought came to Jesus? How did Satan tempt Jesus? 43:05 How does he tempt us? By putting a thought in our mind. And he put a thought into Jesus' mind, "Fall down and worship me." He said, "No." What do I learn from that? To fall down and worship the devil is the most horrible thing you can ever think of. 43:20 It's teaching us that even the most horrible temptation could come to Jesus. It doesn't matter. You're not defiled. You're defiled only when you yield to it. And one of the best illustrations I have understood of it uh that I've seen of it 43:37 is uh James chapter 1. It's a very beautiful picture of what is temptation and what is sin. In James 1, it says it uses the uh picture of conception and birth. You know how a baby is conceived 43:56 and how it is born. Okay. Lust uh James 1 verse 14 and 15. Everyone is tempted when he's enticed. Enticed means being attracted. Like a magnet. 44:14 But when you yield to that, then lust conceives and gives birth to sin. So, the picture I get here is here's a very attractive girl going down the road and there's a very handsome man there inviting him inviting her. Come on. Come 44:31 with me. Come with me. And she's really drawn to him because he's a very attractive guy and very pleasant. But she says no. She goes further down the road. There's another very handsome attractive young man telling her, "Come come let come 44:49 with me. Sleep with me." And she's very much attracted, but she says no. Was she attracted? Yes. Did she conceive? No. You understood it? The fact that you're attracted to something does not mean you're a sinner. If money had no attraction for you, 45:12 there's no temptation in money. Why was the tree of knowledge of good and evil a temptation? Because it was so attractive. Made your mouth water. If there's no attraction in anything, there's no temptation. If every woman in the world was horrible 45:34 looking and ugly and with beards, then no nobody would be attracted to them. There's no temptation. So, don't think that attraction is sin. No. 45:51 What do you do with it? You say no. I don't want to keep looking at what's not mine, what God has not given to me. You see a girl and somebody ask you, is she attractive? Yes. But I don't want to keep looking at her. She's not what something God's given to 46:09 me. So, attraction is not a sin. But if you keep wanting, longing, looking, something God's not given to you, it's sin has already been formed. Conception has taken place in your mind. So, anger, you feel like getting angry 46:24 at somebody and you say, "No, I'm not going to get angry at the person. I've forgiven that person." You haven't sinned. So, don't think that you will come to the place where you won't even be tempted. You'll be tempted to remember some of 46:35 the past things you did. But we don't have total control over our emotions, but we do have control over what we're going to say and what we allow ourselves to keep thinking about. I have to resist, resist. For example, I'll tell you, discouragement was a big 46:50 problem with me for many time many, many years. I was almost a slave to discouragement even after getting a becoming a believer. If I slipped up and fell in some way, I'd discourage, discourage, and then I'd fall more. I never realized till a long time that 47:05 discouragement is not God's will for me. Self-condemnation and discouragement are never God's will. So, I decided to resist it. Once God filled me with the Holy Spirit, I decided I'm going to resist this discouragement. So, now when I'm tempted 47:17 to be discouraged, I keep on resisting it and I say, "Lord, I'm going to think of all the wonderful, positive things you've done for me and how you're on my side." And quote scripture. Jesus quoted scripture. That's how he 47:28 drove the devil away. And we can you can quote scripture. My God is on the throne. He's my father. And the hairs on my head are numbered. And he cares for me more than the birds of the air. I'm quoting scripture just like Jesus quoted 47:39 scripture. And temptation goes away. That's why we must know scripture. Jesus knew scripture and he quoted scripture and that's how he drove the devil away. So, if you're resisting it, you're okay. It's when you yield to it in your mind. 47:55 So, naturally, if somebody I remember uh what if somebody has raped you? Well, you got to forgive him, otherwise you'll destroy yourself. What he did was completely wrong. And uh maybe you need to report it to the um police. That's okay. There's nothing 48:13 wrong. To forgive a person does not mean that a crime must not be reported. We got to understand that. If somebody has molested a child, if he needs to be reported to the authorities, he needs to be reported. Why? Because you have to do good to your 48:31 neighbor. That person may go and molest somebody else. And to save him from to save your neighborhood from being um ruined by that person, you are protecting your neighborhood by reporting the matter. So, you got to understand that. Now, if in 48:48 some case God says, "Okay, forget it." That's up to you, but what I'm saying is if someone has committed a crime, to report it does not conflict with forgiving that person. I mentioned that. But, if here is a person you've forgiven who's raped you, 49:03 I say, "Don't go anywhere near that person." Try to avoid such people as far as possible. So, um we must avoid it's you know, we we pray, "Lord, lead us not into temptation." It's a good prayer to pray. How do you know if you have the gift of 49:22 tongues? How do you speak in tongues for the first time? Well, see, in many charismatic and Pentecostal churches, they almost coach you to speak in tongues. That's the surest way to get a counterfeit. That's the surest way to fool yourself 49:41 into something which God never gave you. Nobody's coached into speaking in tongues. It's a gift God gives, and it's a it's a gift Paul Paul said in 1 Corinthians 14, pick up pick 1 Corinthians 14 sometime and have a look 49:57 at it. There are two or three things Paul said. One he said, um in the church, I would rather speak five words, 1 Corinthians 14:19, with my known language than 10,000 words in an unknown tongue. 50:15 So, from that I learned that English is 2,000 times better than speaking in tongues. How many of you believe that? Speaking in English is 2,000 better times better than speaking in tongues. That's 1 Corinthians 14:19. Five words 50:31 with a known language or 10,000 words in an unknown tongue. Now, if you want to know more about it, you go to the CFC website. There is a article of mine there called The Truth About Speaking in Tongues. Very small article, you can read the whole thing. 50:48 If God gives it to you, you take it. It's very clear in 1 Corinthians 12, not all speak in tongues. Everybody doesn't speak in tongues. For some reason, God gives it to So, it's one of the gifts. It's like the gift of preaching, 51:04 teaching. Now, you cannot have my gift of teaching if you God doesn't give it to you. If he gives it to you, you can have it. But if you just try to imitate what you see in me, it won't be the genuine gift. A gift of God is not something you 51:19 imitate by watching somebody else. It has to be given by God to you. And if he doesn't give it to you, that means God sees that you don't need it. Don't covet what you don't have. The why only gift God tells us to covet is the gift to 51:33 share God's word, to prophesy, to share God's word in a way that edify others. So, leave it to God. I never sought for it. God gave it to me when I didn't wasn't even expecting it. Okay, if God chooses not to remember my 51:45 sins because of the blood of Jesus, What will we be judged in the judgment seat of Christ? I'll tell you. The only sins which you did not confess after you were born again. You know, before you were born again, you say, "Lord, I'm a sinner." And 51:59 everything's blotted out. And then you come to the Lord and then you sin and you don't set it right. You don't apologize to the person you wronged. Jesus said that if you did something to hurt somebody in Matthew 5, you got angry with someone 52:14 and you hurt him. And then you come and bring an offering to the Lord. The Lord said, "Leave your offering there. God's not going to accept you or offering." Go and settle that with that person first, then come and bring your 52:25 offering. But think if it is like that till the day of judgment. You haven't settled it even up to the day of judgment. That matter is unsettled. It's better to settle it now. So, there are matters which will remain unsettled. 52:39 Which And the other thing is, like I said this morning, if you haven't forgiven somebody, then all that you did will be put back on your head. That is the message what Jesus said in Matthew 18, "So will my heavenly father do to 52:58 you if you don't forgive your brothers from your heart." There are six requests that the Lord gave us in the Lord's Prayer. "Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done." Three concerning God. "And give us this day our daily bread. 53:17 Forgive us our sins as we forgive others. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Three re- requests concerning God. That comes first. And three requests concerning ourselves. Our physical need, food, 53:32 forgiveness, and overcoming sin. He taught us to pray, overcome the devil. And out of all these six, after he finished the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6, he took out one of them. He said, "I want to make special mention of 53:49 forgiveness, Matthew 6. This is how you must pray, Our Father who art in heaven, and so on. But at the end he said, "Remember, this one is important. If you forgive men their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you." Matthew 6:14, 54:04 "If you don't forgive them, your Father will not forgive you." That means you're a child of God, all right, because he's your Father, but he won't forgive you. He doesn't say, "God will not forgive you." Because if he said God, then we 54:18 can say, "Oh, probably he's referring to unbelievers." "Your Father." So, who are you? You're a child of God. Matthew 6:15, "Your Father will not forgive you." You're a child of God, he's your Father, but he will not forgive you 54:37 because you haven't forgiven somebody else. Now, my question is, can a man go into heaven with even one sin not forgiven? No. That's why forgiveness is very important. 54:56 And don't wait till your deathbed to do it. So, that's very important. There are things that will come up at the judgment seat of Christ, which we didn't settle on earth. How do you hear the Holy Spirit talking to you? It's by an inner witness in our 55:15 heart. The more you read the scriptures, the more you become familiar with what God is speaking. That's how you become familiar with God's voice. If you don't read the Bible at all, you will not become familiar with God's voice. You will not hear the 55:31 Holy Spirit saying something to you. Even Jesus, when he was tempted to the stones into bread, he heard the Holy Spirit saying, "Man shall not live by bread alone." How did he know that? That's a verse from Deuteronomy. 55:47 That's because Jesus had memorized Deuteronomy when he was a child. He would go to the synagogue and ask the rabbi to read scripture to him. That's how he memorized scripture. Years later, when he's tempted, that verse comes back 55:58 to his mind. And um jump off the temple roof. "His angels will guard you." And then immediately another verse comes to his mind, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God." So, that's how if he was not if he hadn't read and meditated on those 56:13 verses, he would not have heard the Holy Spirit. So, if you if you neglect the scriptures, you're not going to be able to hear the Holy Spirit saying something to you. And that's why it's very important to read the scriptures. 56:30 And what if my marriage partner is not wholehearted? Um if I'm a wife, do I have to submit to him? Well, it depends on what he asks you to do. If he asks you to bow down to an idol, I tell Christian wives who've got non-Christian parents in 56:49 India, don't listen to your husband if he asks you to do something against the word of God. Tell a lie. Sorry, God's word says I shouldn't tell a lie. Bow down to this idol. Sorry, I will not do that. But if he says, "Don't go to the church 57:06 meeting today." Listen to him. Don't go. That's not a command that you must go to a church meeting every Sunday morning. If he allows you to go, go, but let him learn so that you respect him and love him and one day he he let you go and he himself 57:24 get converted. We have had examples like that in our church of non-Christian women who submitted to unconverted non- Sorry, non-Christian families where the wife got converted and submitted to this non-Christian husband in all earthly matters, but 57:42 never in any uh spiritual matter. And they wouldn't allow her to go to church. She didn't go, but one day time comes when he himself sees that and changes, brings her to the church, and comes and attends the meeting himself. We've seen that happen more 57:57 than once. Um What about your opinion about children being involved in a sports team that often conflicts with Sunday fellowship meetings? I won't make a rule on this. I believe that we must teach our children to put God first, Christ first. 58:13 But I've never had a rule that uh you cannot play games on Sunday. Now, some people have that rule. I respect them. Romans 14 says one man has certain rules for a particular day, respect him. But you be convinced in your own mind. Romans 14 58:31 is a great chapter. Read it. One man esteems a day to another man all days are alike. To me, I'll tell you honestly, the Old Testament Jews, Saturday was the holy day. Six days you could do what you like. Today, for some Christians, Sunday is a 58:46 holy day. Other days you do what you like. I say to me, every day is a holy day. Monday, Tuesday, if I can play football on Tuesday, I can play football on Sunday. It's the same It's the same to me. It's not uh but we take the opportunity to go on Sunday 59:03 because it's the most convenient day to have a church service. And we have churches in the in Dubai and those Gulf countries where the holidays are Friday. They don't meet on a Sunday. They meet on Friday. The meetings are on Friday. 59:13 So, there's no special day which is holy. So, I would not make a rule on that. But if children are always missing the Sunday meetings because of sport, then something is serious going too far. But then occasional missing it, it's 59:32 like supposing you have to you're a doctor and you got to go to work on a Sunday. Are you supposed to go to work on Sunday morning miss the meeting? Sure if that's your duty time on Sunday you have to go. You can't have allowed that 59:43 patient there to be neglected. Or if you have an examination on a Sunday. That happens sometimes in India. I say go and do the examination. But not neglecting every Sunday that you go for a sports. Okay. Uh At what point when your children were 1:00:04 children did you feel it was difficult or almost impossible for you to fellowship with others because of the needs of the children? Well, I'll tell you how the policy we have taught in our churches in your life the Lord must be first. 1:00:18 Your family must be second. And all ministry and fellowship and church activity must be third in that order. So don't put church activity and uh ministry above family. We've never taught that and I've never practiced it. 1:00:38 And uh we have to find the balance. I'm not saying that we get so taken up with our family that we have no time for ministry. That's another extreme. But in 1 Timothy 3 when it speaks about the qualities of an elder it says he should be able to have 1:00:54 brought up his children uh under control with dignity because it says in 1 Timothy 3:5 if he can't take care of his own family how can he take care of the church? So in other words, the family he's got to prove himself in the family 1:01:10 before he can take care of the church. So that's why I say family comes before the church. So we don't neglect it's not that I just keep listening to my wife and keep always hanging around the house, but I must see if I neglect 1:01:28 my wife and thinking I'm doing something spiritual, I could be going astray. Like I've used this example many times. Here's a husband sitting having his morning quiet time reading the Bible and he's studying Hebrews or something 1:01:41 like that. And his wife is struggling with two, three small children in the kitchen and he's saying, "Lord, please speak to me." He's wondering what the meaning of the tabernacle is and God says, "Shut that book and go and help 1:01:51 your wife." But he doesn't hear that. But that's what God's trying to say to him. So sometimes we have this religious idea that these things are more important than that. Christianity is intensely practical. Please remember that. 1:02:08 It's by our life that we witness. Okay. If my partner does not allow me to give money to my needy parents when they are old, even though I'm earning money, what should I do? Simple. Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is 1:02:24 doing. Simple. Your spouse is your left hand. Don't let her know what's happening. Just quietly give it to you. You have an obligation to your parents. Jesus said in Mark chapter 7, "You religious people, you tell your parents, 'No, no, no, I 1:02:42 can't give any money to you. I've given it to God.'" He says, "You've canceled out the word of God." The Bible says, "Honor your parents." And you read Matthew chapter Mark chapter 7 verse 12 or 14 or something, where it says that one way of honoring 1:02:54 his parents is taking care of them when they are in need financially. Okay. They deliberately put this as the last question. Some child has written, "What is your favorite thing to do?" It's not reading the Bible. My favorite thing to do 1:03:16 is to have fellowship with my wife and children and God's people and have a lot of fun. I really like fun. Christianity is an extremely enjoyable faith. 1:03:33 Are we going to have a break now? Okay, let's just pray. Thank you, Father, for this time. The doubts which are still in our mind, please clarify to us through the Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
