4:55 So, just a reminder on the ages 25 and under uh outside with the children's activities and 26 and older in here. We're not going to ask you your age, but um just a reminder on on that. And then not to call anyone out, but uh brother 5:13 Zach is requesting he would like the mostly like on the purple chairs here. If you can move move forward, that would be great. I think we're going to we're going to get going here. Um I think we're ready to start. Yeah, I 5:31 think we're okay. Since this is a session for married 5:56 couples, Annie will also be here for a first of the few questions, some questions, and then I'll carry on from there. >> Okay, you can come. Uh, 6:30 see a lot of these questions are for wife. So that's why I asked her to come. What does genuine wholehearted scriptural submission to a husband practically entail for a wife 6:46 in daytoday operations? If you don't mind, uh first shall we just look to the Lord in prayer. Our heavenly father, we thank you for this time you've given 7:05 us and thank you that we can spend this time in your presence. Lord, we come to you with so much need in our hearts and you have the answer for every question, Lord. And we look to you to give us the right answer. We are human, but we thank 7:20 you that you know our weaknesses and you give us strength and wisdom and everything that we need. Bless this meeting today, Lord, this afternoon. We ask in Jesus name. Amen. All of us who heard about submission, you know, you must have listened to lot 7:38 of messages about submission. Um, in our Indian culture, we've grown up that um husband or daddy is the head of the home and mom has a second place. It used to be like that. So I grew up I grew up in the culture in that culture 7:55 where my dad was the head of the home and he brought us up. He was a believer. He was born again, baptized. I mean, he came from Orthodox. But so he brought up and all those things were so real in my life when I what my dad taught me. So 8:12 about submission, I can say it was not something that I had to fight against. I understood that from what my dad taught me and from scripture and later from messages that God has a certain order in the universe. 8:30 God is above all created the universe. Christ submitted to him and we and we submit to him to Christ. uh husband submits to the to Christ and the wife submit to the husband and I used to think like in in 8:49 every office or every hospital or anywhere there's a person who's the head of the department or or the CEO and everybody has a certain place my place as a wife is to uh to submit to my husband if if in the office they say I'm 9:06 an assistant but I want to be the CEO there'll be confusion so to for the perfect harmony In the home the perfect order is that we obey scripture and submit to our husbands. Now day daytoday circumstances it's not like a rule book 9:23 when you get up in the morning you have to do this and do that or or show your submission in this way. Every family is different. Every husband is different. um my husband's nature may not have been like my dad's nature and the way he run 9:39 things is not the way like my husband runs things. So I adapt to him and I say in he my husband wants likes it in a certain way. I I like to do it in that way. I don't want to do it oh my dad used to help my mother and she he used 9:54 to do this he used to make the coffee or he used to do that so my husband should do that. But if I see my husband is in a certain uh wants certain thing in a certain way, I'll be happy to do it. Yes, I'll do it his way. And like that I 10:09 learn to adjust to his ways and um um in simple ways like if there's any disagreement in the home u or like I don't see eye to eye to him, I don't have to argue with him and I have to 10:26 tell him no I I won't do it. I I I'm going to do this way then there'll be conflict but if there's any disagreement I can say uh he has two votes and I have one vote I take it like that so I'll consider him like his vote his view 10:45 is must be more and definitely as a godly husband I know he has more than two votes so I'll put that into account and I'll think okay mine is a small vote and I take time to think about it and then I realized yeah my way of doing it 11:02 can be changed I'll be the first one to change and that way it's not that has it hasn't happened um overnight over the years the Lord has taught me to have symphony and harmony in the home I must be the one to take the first step so for 11:20 small small things I just ignore if it's an important thing I I know that I may have a way of getting upset or say it in a wrong way. So I say Lord help me to say it in a calm way when I'm settled and I express my view to him and say can 11:38 we do it like this? I try to do that and things have gone over the years more and more uh harmonious and our children have seen us live like that. I think mo if you ask my children most of them will say they've never seen us fight with 11:54 each other because I I wish they had seen because when they have problems in their home they must be surprised how that how did dad and mom handle these things but that's how the lord gave us grace but it's I can say that following 12:11 the uh scriptures and the new covenant is the answer the way of submission it's not a it's not difficult ult because I say Jesus submitted to the father, Mary submitted to accept the will of god. I have so many examples and I pray and ask 12:29 the lord and so it becomes easier and easier to submit. The word submission it doesn't feel like some people they think like they hate that word. It doesn't come to me like that. I think it's such a divine thing if some is a quality 12:47 which Jesus had that submission nature. So I want to have that nature and that's how it and then um daytoday life it's not a rule book as the circumstances come up uh the lord will tell us yeah in this in this occasion this time you just 13:07 keep quiet or in this time you can say isn't there a better way can't we do like that and we work things together so it's not like one is above the other but we gladly um uh submit in in a divine way. I hope I have made it clear. 13:25 >> Yeah. Let me add to this that 1 Corinthians 11 verse three. There is an order. It's here in scripture. The father is the head of Christ as a man. Christ is equal to the father from all eternity. 13:43 But when Jesus became a man, the father Christ. Then it says Christ is the head of the man. man is the head of the woman. So that is the order that put in scripture. But that doesn't mean the man 13:59 must be a tyrant because 1 Peter 3 and verse 7 says, "Husbands, live with your wife in an understanding way." It's not like a boss. She's not a servant in the house. Live with your 14:19 wives in an understanding way. 1 Peter 3:7. And what does the man has to what does the man have to understand? That is written in the next phrase that the woman is a weaker vessel. He's a weaker person. That's what he must understand. Always weaker 14:37 physically, weaker emotionally. And therefore not intellectually she may be cleverer but emotionally and physically weaker. That's why if if there are two suitcases to be carried when you go to the train station the husband should carry the heavier one. 14:56 Definitely that is one example and the same principle applies in uh everything that we do that you recognize that the woman is a weaker vessel. That is the most important thing all husbands must understand. Okay. Next. Next question 15:10 is, I thought my husband was a Christian when we got married, but now with new covenant truths, I see he's not serious about following Jesus. How can I raise our children to not follow his example given that he professes to be a 15:26 Christian? I if I were in that place, I would think maybe I'm a bit proud to think that I know the new covenant. My husband must be knowing something and I might be 15:43 thinking that I'm more and he doesn't understand the new covenant truths. I could I misjudged him. If he was a Christian and he was born again, it maybe he he's not it's not become evident but 16:02 that could be a possibility. So I first of all I would respect my husband. I won't despise him if he's such a person. I would still continue to respect him and appreciate his wisdom and ask his advice for everything and try and 16:21 encourage uh listen to the new covenant messages. Now we have so much of material like the daily devotions. That's what my husband and I we do at breakfast time. We listen to the daily devotions every day and we even though 16:36 I've heard it before, I like to hear it again. And then we listen to it together and then that way that wife can bring the husband slowly to understand oh what this is what my wife think is listening to and believing and it's very 16:53 difficult for husbands to admit that their wife are wives are more spiritual. So keep that evaluation as a wife to yourself and continue to respect your husband and give him time. But with the children we have more lot of 17:09 opportunities with the children. Daddies go to work. We are with the children all the time. So we can take time but we shouldn't let the children feel that daddy doesn't understand new covenant only mommy understands. That's wrong. We 17:24 give wrong impression to the children. But we tell the children this is what the Bible says. You know uh if daddy's scolds you it's for our good. take it in a good way. If daddy disciplines it's in a good way and gently and tenderly teach 17:42 them the spiritual truths, the Bible stories. Ask them what happened in school. Um did you have any did any friends harm you? Did anybody anybody fight with you and or forgive them? Daddy might say you should hit back if 17:58 if somebody hits you. But he'll say but be careful. If you hit back, you might hit him and hurt and he may have to go to hospital or something. So don't hit back. Just don't get into his way. Don't let him hit you. If he's a person who is 18:13 coming to hit you, just keep away. Just go away and don't get yourself into trouble like that. I would advise. But I won't say daddy's wrong. He's saying this wrong. I I you should not do that. No, I wouldn't say it like that. I say 18:27 it in a wise way and give godly advice to the children but not in a way that they'll think uh despisingly about their father and I know with the power of prayer many husbands have been brought to the lord I've seen in Bangalore in 18:45 our churches in India many of the wives were the first ones to come to our CFC churches some were Catholics some were Hindus men from other religions and they used to come Secretly in the beginning I remember I used to go and meet some of 18:59 the sisters in some secret place and share with them pray with them and after a few years I found the husbands wanted to know what my wife doing why she's so different and she's u she's become a different person she's become different 19:15 and they have become interested and many husbands have come to the church after few years they are in the church I remember one couple they were non-Christians and the wife used to come secretly to the RCFC and one time he she 19:31 went back and her husband beat her so badly. I heard about it and I went to see her and her face was all swollen with all the beating she got. And to tell you now both the husband and wife are in the church. What a change because 19:47 she didn't talk back. I said if your husband doesn't want you to come to the church don't come you we'll pray at home. those days there was no um these uh YouTube or anything but I said I'll share with you we'll pray over the phone 20:01 and over a few years he started coming to the church and he he died recently but the Lord brought him to to know him. So Lord there's so much power in prayer when we pray and ask God specifically Lord I'm weak I'm desperate 20:21 my husband I want him also to come to you and I I want to respect him I don't want to despise him and God sees our heart and he will answer our prayer I know many many instances where the husbands have been brought to the Lord 20:37 by their godly wives >> one of the primary one of the primary marks of new covenant is humility. So if a wife knows the new covenant and the husband does not or vice versa, 20:55 the one who knows the new covenant must be more humble. It's not just knowledge. Knowledge. Do you know that the devil knows all about the new covenant? He knows it better than me because the devil knows the Bible better 21:13 than anyone sitting here. He could even quote the Bible to Jesus Christ. So what does he not know? He knows everything about the new covenant. If you ask the devil to come and preach a message on the new covenant, he'll come 21:27 and preach a message here. Exact details. But does he live it? No. So merely knowing the new covenant all the theories and maybe your wife does not know it or your husband does not know it does not prove that you are better because if knowledge is the 21:46 important thing the devil is number one. It is the life of the new covenant that your partner, husband or wife must see in you. And that is what must draw them. Not trying to say you're wrong. This is what the new covenant teaches and you 22:04 don't understand it. That that never brings people to Christ. But if they see here is a quality of life that has changed that is that I'm attracted to use the old example I said before why do 22:22 Indians come to America? Why don't they go to Uganda or Nigeria or something? Tell me the reason. Many of you are Indians. Why didn't you go to Uganda or Nigeria or uh Congo or something like that? Why America? so far away. Congo is much nearer to 22:40 India. The answer is be honest. You wanted to improve your standard of living for your children. This is what new covenant is. It's an improvement of a standard of life and there's nothing wrong in that. But then you must manifest that in your 22:58 life, not just knowledge. Okay. Next question. How can busy couples effectively prioritize friendship to eliminate loneliness while juggling the demands of daily chores? >> I'll tell you my testimony 23:23 so you can get an idea how to handle. Ours was a arranged I mean semi-arranged marriage. I had heard my husband speak but it was arranged by a godly man called brother Bak Singh. So I was just beginning to get to know my husband and 23:42 we got married and he had no income and no home and things. So we moved into his parents' home. So I suddenly had a husband, a new father, that's my husband's father, a new mother, my 24:01 husband's mother, and a new sister, my husband's sister who was in medical school, all of us. And they had helpers in the home. So it was like I had to get to know so many people after my marriage and they were my family and I thought 24:17 this is like um it was like a beginning of some big um um like a marathon race. I had to where to begin? But the Lord gave me grace and I tell you one thing the answer for me at that time was when the Lord baptized 24:34 me in the Holy Spirit. I was in so much need because everything was new and I was cut off from my biological my siblings and my parents that I was in so much need that I cried to the Lord and he met me until now I'll never forget 24:52 that experience which I had and that has been there like a like a like a sprinkling a green lawn you know it goes on the trickle of water the Holy Spirit's trickling into my life and the freshness that happened at that day, it 25:09 has never stopped and so however busy and then I had to welcome a new baby also. So one more person came in that in our family circle and the however busy we are. I know the Lord will give us the 25:27 his strength and his power if we are dependent on him and cry to him for the power of the Holy Spirit. But that doesn't mean we have to keep on spending our time on our knees praying and praying. Take the opportunities that we 25:41 have. Like when my husband used to come back from the preaching uh meetings and all, he used to come home. The first person to welcome him would be his dad and his mom because he came into the house and they were there and they were 25:55 his parents. And here I thought I'm the wife. I should be the one to welcome him. But then I knew this is my place. he's their son and I it didn't um I said I have to get used to that and then after that we had time together then I 26:12 thought I'm not going to begin my um this welcome by grumbling and complaining about his parents and why this why that why didn't you see me first that'll spoil I'll make the me best use of the opportunity we have and then we talk about what happened how did 26:29 this go how did that go and and then there There was nothing there was um even that half an hour we spent was like um a whole day together we could because it's not the quantity of time that we spend together it's the quality of time 26:46 and when there's love time doesn't come in as a factor. So that's how the Lord um helped me to prioritize and um we have to take the opportunities like my husband is working all day like most of the time now we both are by ourselves 27:03 but he has so many emails to reply and so many phone calls and and uh even though we are by home and um and some of them are private calls he has to make so I don't want to be listening to what he's talking to other advice he's giving 27:18 so I go to my doom and do my own thing and then when is no uh when I come out I don't want to sulk and say h but you don't have time for me and that'll spoil our so I just we we joke and tough and then my husband will show me something 27:36 did you see this in the YouTube this nice thing or and I'll show him some song some nice tune which I heard and then it becomes so happy so we have to make our happiness it's not like there's some rule book. It's up to us to make 27:52 ourselves happy and our husbands happy and our family happy. It's so much is in our hand and the Lord give us grace and um strength and wisdom and power to do that. But there's lot which we can do. If we take it in a negative way, we'll 28:08 be always gloomy and depressed. But you say Lord, I'm not going to go into this law of despondency. I'm going to overcome. I'm going to make my life happy and make my husband happy and take even if it's five minutes that's enough. 28:22 I take that time to uh spend together. >> Yeah. >> I'm not answering but I'll just >> Yeah. Uh my wife has had a different calling from all of you who get married. I'll tell you 28:41 every wife, everyone when they get married, every woman wants because she's always been in a home where parents are there, they are the head that's not their not her home. She looks forward to the day when she can get married, when she'll at last 28:59 have her own home. My wife did not have that. When she got married, she moved into a home which was not even her father's father-in-law, mother-in-law. There are stories of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law you 29:16 have heard of. But I testify after 58 years of marriage, my mother and my wife never had a fight even once. The God's grace there and you were always good. >> I'll interrupt one thing. I know more 29:33 about my husband's relatives and family connections than my husband ha knows because my mother-in-law and I would always talk about oh see and so in in such and such a place and so and so and this is their son so I know the family 29:47 tree more than him >> yeah that saves me from a lot of embarrassment when my when my relatives come I say who's this I ask >> me who's this >> and My wife will tell me I knew the people in the church very 30:07 well. >> I knew the people in the church very well. >> That's true. >> Okay. So, it was not an easy thing for her. But I decided my parents were believers. That was one thing I was very thankful for. And my dad who had a great ambition 30:25 that I should end up as the admiral of the Navy and I was working towards it. I was topping my class and all that but when I left my job my dad accepted it fully and very thankful and um so when I left I had given away all my money and 30:42 he knew that I could not I did not have money to rent even a small apartment I was working among poor believers. I did deliberately did not go to the rich churches because I read in the Bible that Jesus is read that in Luke chapter 31:00 4. He says the Lord has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor. I read that verse and I said Lord all the big evangelists come to India and preach only in the cities. The cities are the places where the rich believers are. 31:14 Send me to the poor. So the last 50 years we spent among I and later on Annie also we went to the poorest villages in India planting churches where there were no church for 2,000 years and among the poorest people who struggled to survive and many of them 31:34 non-Christian backgrounds they came to Christ. It was a tremendous joy. The result was of course I was very poor. I couldn't get I wouldn't take any money from any of them and we had to I say okay Lord you given me my father's not a 31:46 wealthy man he was a pensioner and he was getting a limited but he had a rented house and at the rented house had a spare bedroom and so even after she spoke to my parents we could go into the bedroom and the bedroom the door could 32:00 be locked so we could still talk to each other so that was how it was but you know the result of As time went on and I started my ministry among the poor villages of India, I discovered that many of those poor people when they get those poor 32:19 young men when they get married, they don't have the money to have their own home. They had to live with their parents. Ah then I knew why God made me a forerunner for them. why he allowed me to live for four years with my parents so that I 32:38 could tell those poor people. I'm not preaching a theory. I can tell you from my experience. I had the same difficulty you have now with living with your parents. God allowed me unlike anybody but I don't know how many people here 32:53 when you got married lived for four years with your parents. Probably nobody. But God took me there because he had a ministry for me. And I've discovered through the years that when you serve the Lord, you have to pay a 33:03 price for it. And part of their price is in your married life. And this is the price I had to pay. But I I rejoice in it because I was able to help so many of these poor people in their situation. And I can tell them I'm not telling you 33:15 theory. I'm telling you from my experience. And my wife could say how she came into the house of her father-in-law right from the beginning for four years. She could speak to the ladies there. So everything we if we submitted to God you'll find even what 33:30 is unnatural and difficult for people God will have a wonderful plan if your aim in life is not to live for yourself but to be a blessing to others. Now most people in the world only think of is this helping me. I say Lord you have not 33:45 put me on earth to live for myself. You said the spirit of God will come upon you and you shall be my witnesses to the uttermost parts of the earth. So if you make your aim in life to be a witness and say Lord I'm willing to pay any 33:58 price. That's what I said when I left the Navy. I'm willing to pay any price. I want to be your witness any part of India. And so I have tremendous joy. I have no regrets over the way the Lord led us. And Annie will say the same 34:13 thing. So God has a plan for all of us. This is the way he led me. I'm just saying that if your situation is a little different from the average family life, remember, submit to it. There'll be some plan in it that God has for the 34:28 future for you. Okay? And later when my father-in-law got a stroke uh they moved and lived with us and he died in our home and mom uh his mom was um alone and she moved with us and she 34:47 became forgetful you know when old senile and forgetful and she became worse and worse. That was also a time when I used to think like a day may come and I start forgetting things and somebody has to help me. So God did a 35:04 work in me to be kind to her and to um ignore the things if she kept on asking me repeatedly what I said or what she had forgotten. It taught me a lot of patience and prepared me for many things which happened later. 35:21 >> Yeah. My my mom died uh many many years after we were married. We married in 1968 and she did died in 2000. So it's over 30 years. But in 30 years my wife and I my mother never had a fight. We were very good friends right up till the 35:38 end. And that's a good testimony. If you sisters who get married can say that you are very good friends with your mother-in-law for 30 years, that's a pretty good testimony. >> Okay. like I would ask her um um she would always give me advice like this is 35:54 the way she did things like small things and um I knew some I knew like the way my mom taught me was different but I would always ask her I used to call her mommy mommy uh what shall we make for lunch today even though it was my home 36:13 and I was running after they moved in and she was happy to Well, let's have this and how so how do you do this? I'd ask her advice and so it was like so harmonious and even though I had some other plan I thought okay we'll do it 36:27 like how how mommy wants and how and so everything went off so smoothly um I cannot tell you the good days we had together except when she was getting forgetful and she forget if she had breakfast and she come again for 36:43 breakfast so I told her mommy there'll be always bread and jam on the table anytime you're hungry you just come and And so then she she sort of but you know the forgetful thing is a very sad thing if it happens to us. Yeah. I want to say one thing in that 37:01 connection. There's a beautiful song. I wish probably we could try and sing it in the next song or how quickly life here passes on its way. We soon will reach the evening of our day. And it goes on to say how when that loved one passes away, you 37:19 should not have any regret of how you lived with that person when you stand before the Lord. The important thing is not fun and happiness. The important thing is love. The greatest thing is not fun and happiness or even ease and 37:36 comfort in life. The greatest thing is love. And so remember that always. Next question. If my if my unbelieving spouse asks me to pray in a situation, how he's an unbeliever or she's an unbeliever, how do I do that without 37:54 feeling like a formality or insincere >> spouse? Okay, since neither of us have unbelieving spouses, it's a theoretical question for us. But I would say that Jesus was a friend of sinners. 38:13 And if you follow Jesus and you're not a friend of sinners, you're deceiving yourself. You're following some other Jesus. The Jesus I follow called himself a friend of sinners. And if I cannot be a friend of sinners, if that sinner is my wife or husband or 38:30 anybody, I'm not following Jesus. Remember that always or in your office or anyone else your relatives or unconvited or your mother-in-law unbeliever but Jesus was a friend of sinners you claim to follow Jesus be a friend of sinners and if that 38:49 sinner is living in your own house be a friend that's where the Lord has put you so if you are to pray pray for that person sure pray sincerely that in from your heart it's not a formality and you don't have to be insincere. Okay. The 39:05 next question is my husband does not prioritize being a good husband. He shows no care for me. Disregards the second floor. Second floor means home life. First floor is conscience. Foundation is knowing God as father. First floor is good conscience. Second 39:23 floor is family life. Third floor is church. So he does not prioritize. He disregards the family life but is always active on the third floor church activities. So how should I respond? And our elders are not aware that he doesn't help at 39:39 home at all. Should I ask the elders to help me or advise him? Does submission to my husband mean I completely ignore that he does nothing in the home? I'd say that if I were such a wife, I'll do my best to build the second floor 39:59 myself and do what I can with all the respect I can give to such a husband and think that yeah, let him do his he's doing he feels that he should build a third floor. Let him go ahead and keep building it. Um I'll do my part in doing 40:18 the second floor. But basic things like we can pray together um family prayer and at least I'll be thankful he's working and bringing the money home so that we can have a second floor. I'm not on the streets. So I thankful I should be thankful that he's 40:36 doing his part in um providing the means for me. But other than that, I can do my part with the children and the cooking and the cleaning and all the practical things of the second floor. I can do my part and hopefully such a husband can 40:55 change and do. But I may be wrong also in judging that he's not doing the second floor. Maybe he is doing and I'm expecting very high standard of his contribution to the second floor. That could also be there. I would say one of the big problems that 41:13 can come up in any husband wife relationship is demands. If you have inner inner demands which you don't express it but you have an inward demand that my wife must be like this or my 41:31 husband must be like this my wife must do this for me my husband must do this for me he should not leave this for me to do or she should not leave this for me to do I can prophesy without being a prophet that you'll have a miserable 41:46 married life if you have inward demands dead people I have no demands. You know that a person's dead. He has no demands. This is what it means to die with Christ. I choose to die with Christ and I don't 42:05 have any demands. Now you may say if you're like that your partner will take advantage of you. Ah then I have a promise for you. For all people who fear that your partner will take advantage of you because you're a Christian and 42:21 because you're seeking to deny yourself that promises in 1 Corinthians 10:13 in the middle it says God is faithful. If you don't bring God into the picture what you say is right. Husband and wife they'll take advantage of you if you're 42:40 just act like a doormat. But here it says, "God is faithful." 1 Corinthians 10:13, middle, "He will never allow you to be tempted beyond what you're able to bear." Wow. Imagine a promise being given to you. 42:59 Uh say you're working in an office and the boss says, "I will never give you a job which you cannot do. I'll never give you a job where you have to work overtime." Never. It'll only be within your capacity within the hours you're in the 43:16 office. I say, "Boy, I'd like to love to work in an office like this." And I'll tell you honestly, I love to serve a God like this who says he will never allow me. Leave alone home life outside. I'm a servant of the Lord. I I'm a target of 43:30 the devil because I serve him wholehearted serve the Lord wholeheartedly. But God will never never and he has never allowed me to be tested beyond my ability ever. And I'm telling you after 67 years of experience, not a single time did I 43:49 face a situation where God did not give me grace to overcome or to handle it. personal life, married life, church life. Even when people took me to court, threatened to put me in prison for the sake of the gospel, no other reason. And 44:09 uh other Christians tried to persecute me. They published articles about me and published articles that I was the devil incarnate and all that. It's okay. I could forgive them, love them. God never never allowed me in the 67 years of my 44:24 Christian life to be tested and tempted beyond my ability. Wouldn't you serve a God like this? I want to say to every married couple, if you trust in your heavenly father, that promise is for you. However bad your husband or your wife may be and 44:43 however much however many demands you think they'll make on you, God will do something wonderful for you. At the end of all that, you'll such you'll have such a knowledge of God that you'll be able to encourage others. You know, a 44:56 lot of my ministry has come out of different problems that I have faced in life and how God has helped me through it. That's taught me what to share with other people. And if you hear that my message is very practical for you, it's 45:11 because I've gone through those situations myself. So if God takes you through such situations, be thankful. Okay. >> Thank you so much. >> Next question. >> Okay. The rest are all for me. So, okay. 45:40 Uh, what should I do if my unconverted husband and his mother try to impose their Catholic religious traditions like meat restrictions, Catholic prayers, Catholic practices on 45:59 our children? Now, this is really difficult for a wife who's living with a Catholic husband and he's the head of the home. And see, first of all, if she was a believer, she should not have married a Roman Catholic. If he was not converted, he 46:18 was converted. He should leave the Roman Catholic Church and be a part of a believer's church. I personally do not believe that the Roman Catholic teaching is according to the Bible. I'll tell you that honestly. I love them. I love 46:31 Hindus. I've got I I love Muslims. I love Hindus. I I love atheists. And definitely I can love Roman Catholics. There's no problem there. But I have to say I disagree with the teaching of other religions and I disagree with the 46:45 teaching of the Roman Catholics. That's not that doesn't mean I don't love them. I disagree with them. Otherwise, I wouldn't be preaching what I preach. I preach that Jesus Christ is the only way of salvation. No one comes to the father 46:56 but by him. That's what it's written in the Bible is what Jesus said. I believe that. That puts me different from all the other people who think there are many ways to God. I'm sorry. There are not many ways to God. There is only one 47:07 through Jesus Christ and it's not through Mary like the Catholics would say. It's not through any of the other gods that other people say. It is only through Jesus Christ and only through his death on the cross. So that makes me 47:19 very exclusive. But that is but that is the truth. So I have to take my stand for that and so one but if you got married and after that you got converted and that's good that you got converted and your partner is a Catholic and 47:37 there's a husband who's the head of the home I agree it's very difficult you must pray to God first of all your main prayer should be Lord bring my husband to salvation not for the sake of peace in your home but because your husband is 47:52 dishonoring the Lord by worshiping Mary and worshiping another god, making a woman another god or by prayers which are not according to scripture. Pray, you must pray for his salvation and and then meanwhile you need to seek for 48:10 wisdom that you don't get into conflict with your husband. He's the head of your home. Even if he's a Roman Catholic, he's the head of your home and you're a wife. You have to submit and uh you don't have to do what he tells you in 48:22 your life, but you can't stop him from running the home as he likes. Putting pictures of Mary up there and crucifixes and all types of things. You can't stop it. He's the head of the home and he's the father of the children. And so if he 48:38 takes the children to the Roman Catholic Church and teaches them, you have to allow for them. But you can pray that God will bring him to Christ and that your home will become a Christian home. And that that is the answer I have to 48:53 say to all people. You it's not worth getting into a fight with him because he won't get anywhere because he's your husband. Now it's different if it is the wife is a Catholic. Then of course it's easier for the husband because he's the 49:03 head of the home and he can impose his rules on his children and all that. But I don't think he should get into a fight with his wife over her Catholic traditions, but pray that she will come to faith. The Bible says, "Pursue peace with all 49:20 men." As much as it, you know, it's the one place where I don't know whether you noticed this. Let me show you this verse in uh Romans. It's a good verse to know. Romans chapter 12. Do you know that there's only one 49:40 command in the New Testament? As far as I know, only one command which says, "If possible, obey this." Isn't that good? There's a command that says, "If possible, obey it." Every command is absolute. Shouldn't tell lies, 49:56 don't hurt people, speak the truth. But there's one command which says if possible Romans 12 verse 18 if possible as much as it depends on you live at peace with all men because God knows you cannot live at peace if 50:15 the other person doesn't want peace whether it's in a home or anywhere. So if possible as much as it depends on you live at peace with all men. That's my advice to anyone who's in a awkward family situation. Okay. As a husband, 50:32 how do I encourage my wife amidst the emotions that she experiences both as a mother and also in the church? Yeah, I mentioned that earlier that the one thing that a husband must recognize always 1 Peter chapter 3, husbands, live 50:49 with your wives in an understanding way. And what is it that you must understand? This in the next sentence I've asked husbands this question. what is the thing that you need to understand about your wife first of all and they don't 51:03 know I said you haven't read the full verse it's there in the next sentence in that next phrase in that verse 1 Peter 3:7 husbands live with your wives in an understanding way as someone who is weaker that's what you need to 51:17 understand that she's a weaker vessel so that's how you that something you must remember all the time and all the experiences she goes through as a mother or is a pregnant wife and u the demands that children make on her and uh cooking 51:36 and so many things in the home where she doesn't have the outlet that a man has. This is what a husband must recognize. The very fact that you just have can able to go out of your home for eight hours a day and even if your office is a 51:50 very difficult work situation, the fact is still you're away from the home. You're in another atmosphere with other people. Think of your wife who's sitting at home the whole day with seeing no one else except her small children and uh 52:04 the atmosphere of house 24 hours and you every day you have the opportunity to go out 8 hours meet other people even if they are unbelievers and to be out in you know in the fresh air in your another office and come back. Please 52:18 keep that in mind husbands when you come back home that your wife has sat cooped up in that house all the time. You have to live in an understanding way. And so you need to bear that in mind. Encourage her by if 52:35 possible taking her out of the home. Go go go and have a meal in a restaurant. Take give her a break from cooking a meal for herself for the family. Take the children out. go to a park, go to some type of clean entertainment or 52:52 something like that so that she can have some relaxation from I don't say you do that every day but it'll mean a lot if you take is encouragement because as a human being sometimes these physical things can encourage a person. It's not by 53:11 preaching to her that you encourage preaching is also good and encourage to encourage but As a human being, we are body, soul and spirit. So the body also needs some type of relaxation. Okay. Another question is how can a married 53:27 couple who have repented of serious physical sins committed while they were single live entirely free from the guilt and regret they have about their past life? Well, you'll have a lot of regrets. 53:46 Guilt can be removed if you have really repented and asked Jesus to forgive you. Unfortunately, a lot of young people, young men particularly and unfortunately some young women also have been immoral before they got 54:03 married. It's unfortunate thing. Maybe because the parents were not strict. Maybe when even if the parents were strict, they played the fool or they were away from home in college or something or somebody molested them. I 54:17 don't know. There could be many reasons and I don't want to judge anybody. But there are these and some of these sexual relations can have a permanent imprint on your mind and that can bring tremendous feelings of guilt in single 54:35 days and then you get married. And one of the questions was in another place where should we tell our one we are considering marriage with our past sexual history? My answer is no. If 54:53 it is you have repented of it and the Lord says I have forgiven you, you sincerely confessed it. I encourage every such person to go to the promise in Hebrews 8 and verse 55:12 12 which says in the new covenant I will not remember their sins anymore is a tremendous promise I will not remember their sins anymore so we be merciful to such people 55:35 and not compare ourselves with them. I had the grace to be brought up in a very god-fearing family. My parents was born again and I was from the time I was born I was taken to believing churches. So I never fell at any time in my life 55:53 into adultery or any such thing in my entire life. But that's only because I had a god-fearing upbringing. I don't despise somebody who did fall. So I say that to such people I say if you've really repented and confessed your sin I 56:09 don't care who you are man or woman the Lord says I will not remember your sins anymore. The most important person in the universe has said he doesn't remember your sins. That's most important. That's done with. So I personally say it's not wise to confess 56:25 it unnecessarily. There's nothing to be gained. In fact, it can create problems later on in married life. If you do say such things and they may accept it, the other partner may accept it initially, but in five years later when you have a 56:42 conflict, they'll bring up that thing. You were like this and you were like this. So, it's best not to bring those things up. what's blotted out. I tell newly married couples, if the Lord has blotted out your past, let it be blotted 56:56 out. Don't bring it all up. It won't help you in any way. How will it help a husband to know that my wife had sex with some other man before she married me? Or how will it help how will it help a wife to know that my husband had sex 57:11 with some woman before she married me? It will not help one bit. It is over. It's finished with. And if you feel he's an immoral man, you should not have married him. But that you married him because he's probably repented and changed. There is no point 57:26 in going over the past. So we should not mention this and there should be no lingering guilt or regret because if God Almighty who the ultimate judge says forgiven and forgotten, take it like that. I mean even an 57:44 earthly judge puts the hammer down and says this is the my verdict. We accept it. We can accept the verdict of almighty God. Okay. Now this is carrying on to what we already just said. Is it appropriate for a woman to explicitly 58:02 ask a prospective, this is before marriage, to ask the one she's a man considering, the man she's considering for marriage, whether he has watched pornography or whether he's currently battling pornography. How much of past sexual history is a man 58:22 obliged to reveal before marriage? Well, I'll tell you something. unconverted men. Uncon converted men who are in teenage years nowadays almost all of them have watched pornography. You might as well face it. Born again 58:39 people if they are brought up in a good home and a good home may not have but even then some of them will slip up and be careless when they are tempted by their friends in their teenage years if they are not wholehearted. 58:54 But it's not wise to ask about it because they would have if they have come to the Lord, they would have really repented of it. And God, as I said earlier, God's blotted it out. It's pointless. You're bringing up bring it 59:06 up. And I do not advise any man or woman before marriage to ask what is your sexual history. I do not encourage anyone to ask it before marriage or after marriage. You it will not help you one bit. Think of it suppos supposeding 59:26 you're a woman and I mean if you're going to decide whether to marry him or not and you ask him very watch pornography or not there are two possibilities one is a boy who will tell you a lie say oh I never watch pornography all rubbish and you believe 59:42 that lie and marry him and he may be an absolutely evil man first of all because he told you a lie and but you don't know that another person may sincerely say Yes, I did slip up once so twice and you reject him and marry this liar. 59:58 So don't be deceived by that. That's why the best thing is not to ask because all do not speak the truth. That's why I say don't ask because you may not hear the truth. You may hear a lie from a crooked person and the honest person may say yes 1:00:14 I slipped up and you think he's worse. This guy is worse who's telling you a lie. So that's why I say it's better not to ask because you don't know who's speaking the truth. You're just considering a new person for marriage, 1:00:25 remember? So it's best not to ask these questions. See what he is like today and ask any probing questions about where he stands spiritually today. What is his relationship with the Lord? Has he really turned from his past life and 1:00:41 accepted Christ? Is he a new person? The Bible says person is in Christ old things have passed away. That's what the Bible says. The old things have passed away. Okay. Let's accept that also according to God's word. Uh before entering marriage, what 1:00:59 practical things should believers consider such as should we have separate bank accounts or joint bank accounts? Have share existing financial obligations need to support elderly parents. Exact. Well, I'll tell you this 1:01:15 this business of you know uh having separate bank accounts and uh they say before you get marriage have a contract that we will keep everything all our financial matters separate. It's almost like saying we know we are going to divorce. So we 1:01:34 might as well you're starting marriage like this. All these people who make such arrangements are saying number one sentence we are we'll definitely divorce. Okay. So therefore what shall we do? We shouldn't have conflict when 1:01:47 the time comes that we have to share our marriage. Let's make separate accounts. I do not encourage it. We don't start marriage thinking of divorce. We married together. We share everything together and I never even dreamt of 1:02:07 having separate bank accounts to none of my children did I suggest them to have separate accounts. I say have a joint account. That's what my suggestion is. If there are existing financial obligations, supposing your husband has 1:02:19 got a debt to some person $100,000 debt to somebody, it's good to mention that to I'm I'm in debt so much. It's good for person to know that. Or I have elderly parents. I'm the only son. 1:02:37 I'm the only child. They they are too old and they don't have a home of their own. I'll probably have to live with them. I said that to my wife straight away. So, it's good to be honest so that the wife doesn't get a surprise when she 1:02:51 gets married. Okay. Next question is concerning children. How can I maintain consistent godly discipline my children for acts of disobedience, deliberate acts of disobedience when my unbelieving husband refuses to support 1:03:09 me in those matters and gives contrary to the Bible advice to the children. Example, my husband tells my son, "If your school bully hits you, hit him back." Well, we have to I think you should 1:03:28 don't argue with your husband right in front of that child. It's one advice I always give to husband and wife. If you disagree with your child, don't argue in front of them. Go into a separate room sometime else during the day and talk to your husband 1:03:46 lovingly and say, "No, I don't think we should do this. We should not teach our son to hit back at somebody else because you don't know that fellow will hammer him again. He'll come back with a broken nose and that's because you told him to 1:03:57 fight with him and that guy is stronger. So we should not teach give such advice. You must tell your husband and put some sense into him. So sometimes men can be pretty foolish and uh a wife must is to be a the Bible it says God 1:04:15 gave Eve to be a helper to Adam. Helper means what? Help him to come to his senses. If he says something stupid and protect him from doing something foolish, it's like you see him falling into a ditch, hold him. Don't say he's 1:04:32 the head of the house. I must follow him into that ditch. No, hold him and pull him back. And uh if he's doing something foolish or saying something foolish, pull him back. It's exactly like he's falling into a ditch. And you must help 1:04:44 him to be protected. So, and if he's giving contrary advice to your children, talk to him afterwards and say, "Darling, that is not talk to him lovingly." Not like as if you're the perfect authority or anything. Talk to 1:05:02 him lovingly and say, "I think we should be wise in teaching our children." All discussions with husband and wife must be in private, not in the presence of the children. Next question is, how can I make the word of God and prayer more 1:05:15 interesting to children than the video games? Well, it's very difficult. Children get so addicted to video games that you can never tell them the Bible is more interesting. Read the book of Hebrews or Habakook or something is more 1:05:29 interesting, more interesting than all those video games they play. It's not true. They'd say the video games are far more interesting than all these books in the Bible. I said because I mean for me it is not interesting book the Bible is 1:05:43 so tremendously interesting but at that age when they are 10 11 years old they don't understand that so we say yeah I we we have to be careful about the type of video games they play also it's not be it should not be violent video games there are games 1:06:02 which are pleasant and easy computer games which they can play but we tell them it's not a question of what is interesting. It's a question of which is what is good for you. It's like certain foods. For example, if you prefer 1:06:19 ice cream to other regular food like bread and other things that are on the table, you don't keep on giving ice cream. You tell a child, if you keep on eating ice cream, you'll get sick. So even though it's that's more tasty, 1:06:35 we still have to give you vegetables which is good for your health and other things that we provide in our breakfast and lunch and you dinner different different types of a balanced diet of many many things vegetables and meat and 1:06:54 grains and all that and it's not a question of taste. We have to explain to children even if they're small. This is what's good for your health and we know better than you what's good for your health. So in the same way for your mind we know what's 1:07:09 good for your health. A little bit of video games, ice cream now and then is okay. So we allow you to play video games also. But if you tell me that uh if you ask me, you tell your I'm telling children the children try and make the 1:07:28 avocado or uh spinach tell try and teach them that's sweeter than ice cream. It's not sweeter than ice cream. Even an adult will say it's not sweeter. So don't fool them but say it's good for you. Not because it's sweeter than ice cream. So video games 1:07:45 may be exciting, but it's good for you to read the Bible. It's good for you to do your studies for your exam, for your school. So it's not a question of being more interesting. Compare it to food. How you eat different types of food. 1:07:57 That's why we don't make that doesn't mean we have no ice cream. I'm not saying no video games, but keep it in balance with all the other things you need to do. Just like on the table, the lunch table there are many things. Okay. 1:08:10 Is it legalistic to forbid children from participating in sports tournaments scheduled on Sundays? Now to me Sunday is not different from any other day. All the days I'm not a Jew or a 7th day Adventist who keeps Sabbath 1:08:29 especially I don't say my Sabbath is a Sunday. I don't have a Sabbath. My Sabbath is Hebrews chapter 4 which is an inner rest in God. That is the meaning of the Sabbath, an inner rest in God. So here 1:08:47 uh but I believe Sunday is important because that is the day we come together as a church and sing songs and praise the Lord and we must get children to attend that. So if my children were studying for an examination, I would still say God will help you in 1:09:06 your examination. Come for the Sunday morning service at least and then go home. Maybe you can't stay for the whole Sunday. Fine. But come and honor God by worshiping him and joining the Sunday service being there for a couple of 1:09:18 hours. You're not going to do worse in your exam. You're going to do better in your exam. So I have pulled my children to come even if they got a very important exam on Monday. I say come to church on Sunday morning. But I wouldn't 1:09:32 say that Sunday is a special day that supposing they for example supposing they have uh they are applying for some college admission and the school admission test is on a Sunday morning I say go by all means go because they 1:09:46 won't conduct it on a Monday and they won't conduct it Sunday evening. So you have to use your common sense there that Sunday is not a day which you can't do anything otherwise. So in that way if there is some very important sports 1:10:01 tournament scheduled for a Sunday I would say okay I'll let you go but if it is just a routine thing skip it and each thing you must seek the lord in that particular situation how important is this thing I I don't want to frustrate my children 1:10:20 for example if there's a selection your child is very good at soccer and there's a selection on a Sunday morning for the school team. I would say okay go and because otherwise he can get so frustrated he's not going to really 1:10:34 follow the Lord coming to the church on a Sunday. So each uh now don't go to your child and say brother Zach says it's okay. Don't quote me. Please have your own conviction on this and uh follow the Lord. I'm only giving 1:10:51 you some advice. If you feel otherwise, go by your own conviction. This is my conviction and uh I was not so strict about days in for example you're working in Dubai you know the holiday there is on a Friday and uh in some Gulf 1:11:08 countries what do you do Sunday you have to go to work Sunday they have school so what do you do there so we don't make laws on this god has liberated us from special days okay another question is are secular cartoons or classic fairy 1:11:24 tales that feature harmless magic safe for children to watch. What about Okay, that's the first part of the question. I don't feel anything wrong in children reading fairy tales provided you explain to them this is not a true story. 1:11:43 There's no such thing as fairies and all that. I mean, uh, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and all these things. It's a story. You can read it. And many other stories like this, children's tales, Hans Anderson's children's tales and 1:12:01 all. They are interesting children's stories, but there's nothing wrong in there reading it. If there's magic there, we have to be careful because children should not be fooled. We know that it's all just a hoax fooling 1:12:15 people's eyes. you know, pick this card and I'll tell you which card you ch there's all hand tricks like that. Uh but if there's any element of demonic in the magic better they you got you you got to be sensitive to that because there is a 1:12:33 demonic element in some magic. There's no other way to explain some things they do. Some magic is just tricks. Tricks by which they fool you because they do something this way and that way and fool you. But that type of thing is 1:12:48 okay. But if there's an element of demonic, I would say better to steer clear. There doesn't matter if your children miss out on something. But otherwise, fairy tales are okay providing you tell them these are all just fairy tales. What about the series 1:13:04 television series called The Chosen? Now there are different opinions on that. I watched a number of those series and as a to me it's just like a p you know comic picture book of the Bible where you have a picture showing this 1:13:22 the gospel supposing you have the gospels in a picture Bible form and it's acted out there and I think as far as I know they've pretty much followed the scripture but they've added on so many new new ideas about how the different 1:13:36 apostles were and all that And uh I wouldn't have an objection to anybody watching it. But if you have feel there's something wrong somewhere, that's up to you parents. I would not tell you to follow my advice. But I had 1:13:49 no objection to telling my children and their grandchildren to see it. And what about modern Christian musicians like Forest Frank? Yeah, I I don't know. I've never heard any Forest Frank songs, but there are Christian singers and all, 1:14:09 but I say I there's nothing wrong in listening to good Christian music. I'm all for listening to good Christian music if it's a good melody sung by a good person. But I would not promote any particular person say you must listen to 1:14:28 this person because all these fellows are after making money. every one of them and I'm sure this guy is also after making money. So I say I want don't want to encourage people who are doing that but I say if he's singing well okay 1:14:41 listen to one song of his but don't get addicted to anybody to get addicted to any type of singer or anything to to listen to songs is good and uh if they have a good voice I remember listening to Jim Reeves in the olden days he's dead now but some of his 1:14:58 songs Christian songs were very very good because of his voice was good and it was a very good and what he's sang a lot of worldly songs as well. So we have to be careful that we don't promote a particular singer. He would like to listen to good 1:15:17 Christian hymns. Okay. What about celebrating Valentine's Day? Well, I don't know who Saint Valentine was and whether he would have approved after himself is being named after him. But it's sort of supposed day when people who love one another, husband and 1:15:35 wife and girlfriends and all boyfriends. I don't promote too much boyfriend girlfriend business but it's the one day in a they have father's day, mother's day and if Valentine's Day is sort of for husband and wife to show their love for each 1:15:52 other, by all means I got nothing against it. It's all a question of how it is celebrated and who are celebrating it. Next is about church life. Can a believer who carries a specific burden for street evangelism, that is going out 1:16:06 in the gospel, preaching in the streets, can he remain as a truly committed member of a local church whose vision focuses primarily on disciplehip and fellowship? In other words, can such a person remain in a CFC church where we 1:16:22 emphasize primarily disciplehip and fellowship? That's entirely up to that person. If he values evangelism more than disciplehip and fellowship, by all means go and join a group which uh promotes evangelism. 1:16:41 But I personally believe that Jesus did not come to promote evangelism. He said I will build my church. That evangelism is only a means of bringing people to built built into a church. The sad thing about a lot of evangelism done nowadays 1:16:57 in the last 50 years, I'll tell you my opinion, great evangelists and uh many other people who do street evangelism. Go and ask the great evangelists, I've heard some of their testimonies. I was over there, there were a million people 1:17:13 in the meeting and 10,000 people signed decision cards to become Christian. I said, "Wonderful." I went to northeast India once where a great evangelist had come from another country from America and preached and there was some it was a smaller group 1:17:31 than 500 people had signed decision cards. Some months later I went to that place and I knew the man who got the list of these names and was asked to follow up these people these 500 names. I knew that brother. I said brother what 1:17:46 was your result when you followed up all these 500 names? He says hardly any of them is following the Lord. So that evangelist went home thinking he brought 500 people to the Lord. I later on went six months later and found none of them 1:17:58 are following the Lord. So a lot of people are deceived by 10,000 decisions, 50 decisions, 50,000 decisions, you don't know what's happening later on. Whereas if you go to the New Testament and you ask Paul, hey Paul, I heard that 1:18:12 you went to a place called Philippi and converted a lot of people. He'll say, come with me. I'll take you to Philippi. He'll take you to the church meeting. You see these 100 people sitting here? These are the people I brought to 1:18:24 Christ. Here's this one, this one, this one, this one, this one. And Paul, I heard you went to Thessalonica and did that also. Come with me. He takes you to Thessalonica. He won't give you a list of names. He'll take you to a church. 1:18:36 See, see all these 150 people sitting here? These are the people I brought to Christ. Paul did not do the type of evangelism that's done today. He it's like to me evangelism done today's a mother gives birth to babies okay leave 1:18:50 them on the street I got to produce another baby now next year leave that on the street then go to give it to somebody else give it to some people who will bring it up have another baby and give it to the same place there's a 1:19:03 place where they bring up children which mother does that which mother does that year after year producing a baby and giving it to some person to bring it That's exactly today's evangelism. So I say if you are interested in street 1:19:20 evangelism by all means do it. But bring that person into a church. Paul can show you the churches he planted in Philippi, Thessalonica, every place. People he brought to Christ, they were in a church. That is the pattern we 1:19:35 have followed in CFC for 50 years. You ask me the people I brought to Christ in Tutarin or Tjavur or Chennai or Bangalore or Hubli or any Come with me, I'll show you. The people are brought to Christ and they are all in 1:19:53 churches. That's the pattern we follow because that's what we see in the Bible. Okay? I'm not here to judge others. God bless you. You can do what you like. You can ask other people to uh nurture your the children you've brought 1:20:12 to Christ, but make sure they are nurtured. Check up 5 years later where they are. But do you think any of these evangelists check up where their 10,000 converts were after they 5 years later they'll get a surprise if they find out 1:20:25 where they are. So that's why I do not agree with that type of evangelism without I believe in evangelism with church building. Is it biblically healthy for a member a church member to deliberately avoid fellowship 1:20:43 or maintain physical distance from certain other members of the church due to personal disagreements? No, I don't agree with it. I believe that you must build fellowship. If that the other person doesn't want fellowship, you 1:20:56 can't force it. But uh from your side, you must always be open to fellowship. But if a person is always whenever you come to meet with him, he's always gossiping and backbiting. I'll say goodbye. Thank you very much. And then 1:21:10 you should tell the elders, I'm sorry, brother, I can't fellowship with him. Every time I go, he's gossiping about somebody else or backbiting about somebody else. I'm not interested in that fellowship. Tell the elders about 1:21:22 it. But uh if it's a personal disagreement that you don't like his face or you don't like something about him, that's not the way to break fellowship. Personal disagreement is a completely different thing. I'm because God has brought different types of 1:21:38 people into the church and he like the parts of the body all different. We fellowship with one another. What is the biblical stance regarding ongoing personal communication or casual conversation with individuals who left 1:21:51 or separated from the local church? In each case it is different. You know I'll tell you what scripture says. Best is to quote scripture. It happened in Corinth. In the church in Corinth, one man slept with his father's 1:22:06 step second wife, his stepmother. And you know what the apostle Paul did when he heard about it? He said, "Boy, something's happened in your church. There's not even happens among the heathen." Well, he says, "I've discip I say I have 1:22:22 put that man I have handed him over to Satan." You know, Paul had that authority as an apostle. I've handed in 1 Corinthians 5:5. I've handed him over to Satan so that his flesh can be destroyed and his spirit can be saved in 1:22:37 the day of the Lord Jesus. He want that guy to be saved. He hands him over to Satan to be tortured and troubled so that the guy will repent and come back to the Lord. His aim is always repentance. 1 Corinthians 5:5. So we 1:22:51 don't want to reject a person but we have to be careful. Now, but he goes on to say in one Corinthians and um further down uh verse 11, 1 Corinthians 5:11, I wrote to you 1:23:11 not to associate with and you know when I said to you uh verse 9, 1 Corinthians 5:9, it's the answer to this question. I wrote to you not to associate with immoral people. What I meant was immoral people of the world. No, no. What? No. 1:23:26 What I did not mean was immoral people of the world. The covetous and swindlers and idoltors of the world. How can you avoid them? Then you have to go out of the world. Those are the people you have to evangelize. But if it is a person who 1:23:38 calls himself a brother, verse 11, who is immoral or covetous, don't even eat food with such a person. You got the answer. If that person is an outright unbeliever, even if he's a drug addict, swindler, covetous, idoltor, 1:23:55 meet him, be friends with him, bring him to Christ. But if he calls himself a brother and he behaves like this, he's immoral, an immoral person, calls himself a believer, cut him off. Don't even eat meals with such a person. Boy, 1:24:11 what a standard. So, we have to judge those who are inside the church who behave like like that. And when there's a wicked man like that, verse 13, remove that wicked man from your midst. Paul was strict. That's how he kept the 1:24:25 churches pure. Unfortunately, today people are not so strict. They want to be popular and they are kind to people. They somebody commits immorality, they still allow him to sit there. We don't. We say put him out. Okay. 1:24:40 What is the biblical stance regarding ongoing personal communication? Oh, I mean that's we already answered that. How can a church body transition from a club mentality to which is only interested in food activities and to be 1:24:56 transformed into a vibrant Christc centered sharing of God, God is actually doing in individual lives. I believe that if food and picnics and all is the main thing in a church, you should leave that church. But that doesn't mean that we don't have 1:25:10 food and picnics. We can have food and picnics and all as part of a family. As a family, for example, your own family, would you go on a picnic? There's nothing wrong in it. Perfectly okay. Do you go out to have a meal somewhere 1:25:23 together? Sure. In the same way, if that's not primary, if the main thing in your church is not just picnics and eating food and having a good time together, then it is a club. But if the main thing is that we challenged to live 1:25:37 a godly life and to worship God and come together and build fellowship one another and then on the side we have picnics and good food and have outings and perfectly okay. It's a question of what is primary and what is secondary. 1:25:53 Um what are specific ways in which a young single brother can build up the church? Yeah. By being a witness to those younger to you. being friendly with the children. You know, I I once said in the church, a lot of you have to have a great lust to 1:26:10 be elders, right? You want to be an elder in a church. And I said, I appoint all of you young brothers as elders today to all the people who are younger than you. Please bring them to Christ. You wanted to be an elder, right? So I 1:26:23 said, here you're elder to you're an elder to everybody younger to you. Go and witness to them and bring them to Christ. The children in your in your church. So those are the ways a young single brother can be a blessing in a church. 1:26:36 There is a lot of people younger than him. Be friends with the children. I like to be friends with the children. Okay. What is the proper understanding of 1 Corinthians 11:15 uh which says that a woman's long hair 1:26:55 is given to her for a covering. Now obviously I'm trying to read between the lines. You know what reading between the lines means? What is the hidden question here and the hidden question is why should I have a head covering when 1 1:27:11 Corinthians 11:15 says the woman's long hair is given her for a covering. Okay. My answer to that is here is the apostle through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit writing in 14 verses. You must have a covering over your head. 1:27:27 A man must not cover his head. And at the end of it all, if he says, "Well, your hair is a covering." He could have said that in the first sentence and canceled out these 15 verses. What is the meaning writing all these 15 verses 1:27:38 and then saying, "Actually, what I mean is your hair is your covering." He's got to be an idiot. You're accusing Paul of being an idiot. If he writes like that, no, he's he's just saying your hair a woman has long hair. It's a glory to her 1:27:53 and uh her hair is given her to come. He's just saying, is it a coincidence? He's saying that a a woman should not cut her hair short. That's what he's saying. If a man has long hair, it's a dishonor to you. See the context of a 1:28:07 verse before you take one sentence out to try and prove something. Okay, next question. How can a believer distinguish between a real new birth and a false start if I keep falling down and feel like I I can never do anything right? 1:28:23 We do children. If you see a child falling down when he's 9 months old, 10 months old, you don't say, "Ah, that's useless childhood was not born properly. Perfect birth, but he's not yet ready to walk. When it's one, when it's 2 years 1:28:36 old, 3 years old and still falling down." Ah, then you have to think about it. There's something wrong with the legs or something. But in the initial stages, we all fall. And then you can be 20 years old and fall, trip up on the 1:28:48 road somewhere, but it won't be so frequent. In the early days, there will be frequent falls. So when when you're born again, it's exactly the same thing. You don't immediately become a mature adult. It takes time, but we don't therefore say the person's not 1:29:05 born again. Uh I've asked Jesus into my heart repeatedly with no emotional physical response. I also asked Jesus at least 100 times into my heart. Finally, I got assurance. So ask the Lord for assurance. And those are born in 1:29:19 Christian families, we often do ask the Lord a 100 times into our heart. Okay, next is how do I distinguish between a healthy self-judgment and self- condemnation? Self- judgment leads to greater purity in your life. Self- condemnation makes 1:29:35 you miserable. And so we should not condemn ourselves because that's saying I'm useless. I'm useless. I'm good for nothing. That's not true. I'm not useless. I'm not I'm a child of God. But I slipped up and fell. I slipped up and 1:29:47 fell again. I slipped up and fell again. But I'm a child of God and I'm precious to him. I must believe that God accepts me and he wants to help me to become better and I keep my relationship with God as a loving father. One day I 1:29:59 overcome that and I don't fall in that area. Gradually I overcome more and more in the Christian life. Okay. And in abstaining from social media that means so many things on the internet social media for example 1:30:17 is abstain sorry the question is if I abstain from social media is that a form of fasting just like or is it does it have to be food fasting must be from food. Yeah to abstain from social media for a period is a form of fasting. I agree. if you're 1:30:37 addicted to it. In the same way, fasting from food is also a form of fasting which is good. And in that connection, I would say the Bible says in 1 Corinthians and chapter 9 that the Christian life is like a race. 1:30:56 1 Corinthians 9:24. And in that race, everybody runs but one person gets a prize. Why does he get a prize? because he was 25, he disciplined himself and exercised self-control in the days before he came to run in the race. These people who win the marathon, 1:31:13 usually somebody from Kenya wins the marathon every year. And what do you think they do in Kenya? They get up in the morning, run for 26 miles, next day they do the same thing, next day do the run thing, do same thing, do that for 1:31:25 four years, and then come and stand in the Olympic Games and they win the prize. And then he says they discipline themselves in order to get a wreath or now a gold medal. And he says in the Christian life also it's like a race and 1:31:39 I must discipline myself. And so he says in verse 27 I Paul says I discipline my body because I want to run the race Christian race also properly. And and how do I do it? I make my body my slave. In other words, like a 1:31:57 paraphrase says, I tell my body what it should do. My body does not tell me what it wants to do. That's the difference. I tell my body what it should do. You have eaten enough now. I tell my body, get up. Like somebody said, the best 1:32:15 exercise that you can do is the push-ups from the table. You know, the push-ups from the table are the best exercise if you want to keep yourself fit. So discipline yourself in eating. Take a walk regularly and um keep healthy. 1:32:34 Don't eat too much sugar and limit your ice creams and cakes and all that. And eat healthy food. Eat a lot of vegetables. I'm not preaching what I don't practice. I've tried my best now to avoid all sugar. I drink coffee 1:32:48 without sugar as far as possible except occasionally if it's too bitter, I take a little sugar. I'm not a slave to avoiding sugar but I avoid it as far as possible at home all the time but um outside sometimes I can't avoid it 1:33:04 completely but don't eat anything that's you know a lot of oily stuff it's not good for you as you grow older particularly as you grow older don't shorten your life through your love for food 1:33:23 fasting is to preserve yourself in health as long as possible so that you can be useful to God. If if you're careless with your life, you can die when you're 50 and don't that was not God's plan. Maybe God wanted you to live up to your 70 and 1:33:42 you died off early because you were indicing our body as fit as possible. Sleep well. Cast all your burden on the Lord. Don't worry about things and keep physically 1:33:59 fit, your active, your legs. Don't eat too much and fast now and then. It's you won't die if you miss a meal a day. Even at my age, I try to miss at least one meal a day frequently. Not every day, but many times I skip a night meal and I 1:34:17 have breakfast and lunch and then next meal is next day's breakfast. I want to keep myself healthy, not be a glutton and not also just stuff myself. And I find that I'm healthy. So if you eat too much, you can die soon. 1:34:34 And so be be careful in that area. And so fasting is primarily in relation to food, but you must fast from social media also if you're addicted to it. Um, does denying my own will mean I cannot enjoy personal hobbies? No. You can 1:34:53 certainly enjoy personal hobbies if they allow you to relax in something that's useful. I wouldn't make a rule on that, particularly if you're younger. What does showing hospitality to strangers? Hebrews 13:2 says, "Show hospitality to 1:35:07 strangers mean in the modern world." Yeah. You know, I think a lot of things are written in the Bible are for the Jewish people. And among the Jewish people, they were all related. They were all children of Abraham. That's why when 1:35:24 the Lord told his disciples, when you go, don't carry a bag. Don't carry anything. When you go to a place, look for some home that'll invite you. Go and stay there. I would never teach that today. If one of our brothers is going 1:35:39 to some place I won't say don't take a bag don't go anything and you find some home and go and ask them can I stay here I wouldn't teach that but among the Jews you don't understand the situation there they were all considered we are all 1:35:51 family we are all descendants of Abraham Isaac and Jacob so they could go freely then in Luke 22 Jesus said to his disciples till now everywhere you went you could find a home you remember how Abraham once saw a stranger coming down. 1:36:07 He said, "Hey, come have a meal with us." And he cut a goat up and fed him. Total stranger. That's how they were in those days, Jewish people were we all one family. But today, in a world of millions and millions of people, we're 1:36:19 not all one family. We can't do that. And so, uh, when he talks about a stranger, he's referring to such people. And I think he's referring to a believer who's new to you from another place. Welcome him. That's how I look at that 1:36:32 ver those verses. And we have to be careful in these days about just inviting any Tom Dick and Harry to come and stay with us. How can I guard my heart against intense anxiety over student loans, auto debt, debt over my 1:36:48 automobile while remaining financially responsible? We have to be very careful first of all not to get into debt. But if you have got into debt, you know, with student loans and all, we must try hard. I don't know what it means, but as 1:37:02 far as possible, if the only way you could study is with a student loan, please work hard to try and clear it as soon as possible and be disciplined in cutting down other expenditure so that quickly you can eliminate your debt. 1:37:20 Best is to avoid it altogether. But some people cannot avoid it because the parents have no money or there's no other way to get an education. And if they don't get an education in some situations, they can't get a job. So 1:37:32 sometimes it's essential. But if colleges permit that, it's okay. But make sure you pay it back regularly. Discipline yourself in other areas. How do I practically apply the command to consider everyone as more important than 1:37:47 yourself when at work when colleagues take attempt to take advantage of your faith by treating you as a errand runner and pushing their responsibilities onto you shifting blame to you. Now Philippians chapter 2 where it says 1:38:04 consider others as more important to yourself was not written for everybody in your office. It was written for everybody in your church. In a church we consider others as more important than us. I mean if you decide to uh treat everybody in the office as more 1:38:20 important than us they'll definitely take advantage of you. In an office there are different degrees. So and so is the CEO so and so this this different different somebody chief manager junior manager etc etc. You got to submit to 1:38:33 them. Everybody's not at the same level. in a church Philippians 2 and verse four verse three says consider everyone as more important than yourself not more spiritual don't misunderstand it you are more spiritual but you consider the 1:38:47 other person as more important by honoring him and we should I seek to do that with everybody I don't ignore somebody saying oh you're not important everybody's important even a child is important so but that's not the commands 1:39:02 in the scripture are not for your office the office The command is submit to the authorities, whoever is the boss. Is it biblically permissible to take an undercover role like being a detective or a spy for tactical deception when 1:39:16 required? Well, if that is your job, if the ultimate intention is good, there's nothing wrong in taking. Provided you're not harming anybody, provided your ultimate aim is good, there's nothing wrong in being a detective. 1:39:30 Okay, this is the last question. What is the wise and Christlike response when you're walking down a street and you find two people fighting with each other in a verbal or physical conflict? Quietly go away. That's my Okay. 1:39:55 Otherwise, you might get hit yourself. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, please give us wisdom in the different situations we face in life to have wisdom from above to follow in the footsteps of Jesus to know what 1:40:14 Jesus would do in that situation. Give us wisdom through the Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus name. Thank you. Amen. Thank you brothers and sisters for listening patiently to all these questions and answers. Praise the Lord. 1:40:33 Amen.
