0:00 Валерий Курас Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 0:30 Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 1:00 Валера Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 1:30 Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 1:42 Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 1:52 Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 2:02 Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас 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Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 3:04 Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Валерий Курас Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok If you have started disciplining your child from the age of one, first with words, and then with punishment 3:26 and also show them love and kindness and pray with them the Bible says that when they are old they will not go away from it so a lot of problems that parents face 3:50 when children are 14, 15 years old is because they were not strict with them when they were 2 and 3 years old so then the Bible says you got to reap what you sow so if you allow them to do what they like when they are 2, 3, 4 years old 4:18 then you have to reap the rebellion when they are 14, 15 years old and say that you have to respect father and mother and obey father and it's easier to make them obey when they are 2 years old 4:40 and then when they are 15 years old it's like a tree it's like a tree if you want it to grow in a certain direction bend it when it's a plant it's like a tree so once they are old 5:00 if they have rebelled because of your failure then you must go to God and confess your sin and take the blame don't blame the children go to God and say Lord this is not my children's fault it is 100% our fault that we did not discipline them 5:21 if you put the blame on your children when the blame is yours God will not help you so if they are suffering if they do something wrong because of your fault 5:42 then you must be merciful to them when they have grown up so there is no use driving them out of the house because you are driving them out of the house not for their fault but for your fault so you must try to win their heart by friendship 6:08 and it can be very dangerous driving them out of the house because that will become much worse there may be some rare situations where say a boy is earning his own living and where you say okay go and live on your own but you shouldn't do that to a girl 6:37 you will destroy her but even if you have to do that for a rebellious grown up son I would say that you should pray with a godly older brother and find out if that is the only course of action left but always start with confessing your own sin 7:05 and that depends on who is earning the income if the wife is working and earning an income then she has a right to at least have some opinion on how that whether she should give some of that money to God 7:30 but if the man is earning the income then he has to decide how much of that money to give to God see in many of these decisions it is always good to consult your wife 7:56 take her opinion and then take the final decision yourself so don't take a decision without consulting her but the final decision is the head of the home but if your wife is earning the money give her the freedom to decide how much to give to God 8:27 but if there is some expense in the home which you are not aware of it is right for the wife to say we won't be able to afford to give so much because there is no commandment in the new testament how much we have to give to God 8:50 God wants you to take care of your family needs and not to struggle there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 9:10 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 9:20 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there 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commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 13:02 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 13:07 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 13:15 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 13:20 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 13:25 there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God there is no commandment in the new testament of God 13:30 not in the name of her husband or her father-in-law now if in a particular situation 13:51 you know when if a person asks for dowry if a young man asks for dowry I would seriously question whether you should give your daughter to such a man I would never give a daughter to a young man who is asking for money 14:14 because it proves that he loves money more than the girl I would believe that God would honor that stand and give a better husband for your daughter but I want to say also this that we should not cheat our daughters of their inheritance 14:40 when we give an inheritance to the sons later on or any time all must have equal boy and girl are equal in God's eyes and whatever inheritance a father gives must be given equally to all his children 15:01 but he need not give it at the time of marriage I mean maybe ten years later when he is dying or in his will or something okay 15:22 okay okay okay okay okay okay yes you got every right to ask for money from a father who has produced those children 15:42 it depends on the faith of the wife it is right to do it but in some case a wife may say no I won't do it I'll just trust God to speak to him in many things in the Christian life there is there is something that you do which is right and then there is a higher level of faith 16:15 so it is right to go to a court and ask for them to make him pay money for the children because he is not a believer if he is going to live with another person he is definitely an unbeliever 16:37 and it is like somebody who has cheated you because he is supposed to take care of the children but we will not go into a fight for it we will ask for it 16:57 even in a court if necessary if he doesn't give it we just trust the Lord to take care of our children see the example in all this is God himself does God give us everything we ask for 17:23 most of the things we ask for he doesn't give us because he is not good for us so a good father or mother will not give to the children everything they ask you must decide yourself what is good for them 17:47 and being strict is good if you are as strict as God is but you are also kind to them because you get so many other things for them you are not a miser yeah 18:11 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 18:38 there are many questions in this not just one И в каждом случае ответственность не будет самим. Если женщина просто лавишно потратит деньги, 18:59 то это может быть лучше, что она не знает, что она не знает, что она не знает, что она просто потратит. Но, ideally, the husband and wife should be completely transparent with each other, without hiding anything from each other. 19:24 Но, there is no law like that in the Bible. Because, in some situations, it may not be wise to tell the other person everything. You know, just like, if someone is a heart patient, an old person, 19:47 you may not tell them of some car accident that their son had. So, I mean, that person may not have died in the car accident, just injury, but, you shouldn't give them a shock to this old person. 20:15 So, it's better to tell him, after he has recovered a little bit. So, you're not transparent, but you're being considerate to the feelings of, to the health of that person. 20:35 So, there may be some situations where we cannot afford to be totally transparent, because it can cause misunderstanding. For example, if the elders are discussing something, and the wife wants to know about it, what were you all discussing? 21:03 No, you may not want to tell everything to them, because there are a lot of things they don't need to know. There, you need to, you don't have to be transparent. But, in your personal matters, you know, if you're coming late from work and all, 21:23 you should avoid your wife being suspicious, but tell her what happened, where you had gone. You shouldn't say that's none of your business. No, that is her business. 21:45 Because she married you. So, we have to be open with one another. Uh, family prayer? 22:10 Yeah. Family prayer. Yeah. See, there is no law in the Bible saying, you must have family prayer every day. The Bible, Jesus said, we must pray always. And Jesus has given us an example 22:30 of praying with His disciples. He called Peter, James, and John. You read in Acts 3, that Peter and John went up to the temple at the time of prayer. And Jesus said, 22:51 where two or three are gathered together, there I am in the midst. And if two agree together, they can ask their father for anything and I will grant it. So, it's good for families to pray together. And it's good for our children to learn from childhood 23:13 about the fact that we depend on a God in heaven. However much you may preach to your children about prayer, however much you may preach to your children about prayer, they don't actually see you doing it, they're not going to believe you. 23:29 but at the same time, you shouldn't make it such a law that if you've got something else to do, you, or if the children are late for school or something, you drag them and make them sit unhappily for prayer. in our home, 24:00 we almost never had family prayer in the morning because it was a big rush for going to school and things like that. That's good. So, sometimes they may get up late or we went too late to bed the previous day. 24:20 so we would just have a very brief prayer just before they went to school, maybe a couple of minutes. That's all we did. Then in the evening, when we sat together for a meal, 24:41 that was the time we usually read some scripture and prayed together. Yes, then everybody is relaxed. In the morning, everybody is in a rush. And we should not make family prayer so long that the children get bored. 25:09 Parents must seek to make it interesting. You know, there are so many children's story books, the Christian story books, which you can tell them a little story or something like that, along with the Bible reading. 25:31 We used to have a number of small law, small stories for children that they would read. So, if you don't make it a law, it's a very good habit. And if one or two days you miss it, 25:51 don't get condemned about it. And don't make it boring. Yeah. Oh, intimate chatting through the internet and things like that. 26:15 With the other ladies and men. It's very unwise to spend time for any married man to spend time chatting with other ladies. In the internet, in the internet, zero must be nothing. 26:38 And even in your place of work, only the minimum required for your work. a married man should not have a friend who is a woman. 27:00 And a married woman should not have any man other than her husband as a friend. Any conversation like that on a phone or anything must be minimum for the business required. 27:25 If some girl is calling you up, pass on the telephone to your husband, to your wife. And if you do that, gradually people will realize that you're not interested in talking to any other. 27:50 Elders in churches have to be very careful, especially. Because there are a lot of unstable young women who will come up to you and say, Oh brother, I really like your message. I want to get some advice from you. 28:11 And they say, I want to ask a question to you. My husband is not so spiritual. If I can answer the question in half a minute, I'll answer it. But if I find she's coming back to me again, 28:33 what I normally say is, go and ask your husband. And if he does not know the answer, tell him to come and ask me. That way you can save yourself from dangerous situations. 28:55 A Christian must have a very clear testimony about his relationship with women. Not only for your own sake, but other younger people are seeing you. 29:15 Yeah. It could be because your wife is not converted or not spiritually minded. 29:38 And women can be very possessive of their husbands. I want you to be only way with me. Don't go anywhere else and do anything else. We have to strike a balance here. We have to strike a balance here. 29:59 We have to help our wives in different things at the home. We may have to go to the market and buy a few things for her. And if there are a lot of small children at home, she may be having a very tiring day. 30:21 So, you have to decide how much time you can have for church work and ministry. And that depends on a number of factors. It depends on how many children you have. How old they are. If they are very small, then there is more work at home. 30:46 Do they need help in their school homework? Are any of them sick? And also, it depends on how capable your wife is. Some wives are very capable. They can even handle 10 children. 31:09 And some wives, even one or two is too much for them. So, depending on all these factors, only you must decide how much time you spend for your ministry or church work. 31:30 Because your ministry will be destroyed if your home life is destroyed. So, remember that. It's no use doing ministry when you come back home if you're going to have a fight there. It's much better to have more peace at home 31:48 even if some ministry doesn't get done. And pray that you will have more freedom. But at the same time, you shouldn't make become a slave of your wife when she swings you around her finger. 32:12 Yeah. yeah, this is related to the previous question. and I have more or less answered it 32:41 in the previous question. See, we must remember that this is the order that this is the order I have practiced in my life and taught all people in our churches. The Lord, the Lord must be first in our life. 33:03 Second, my home. And third, the church. Now, some people don't look at it like that. They say, the Lord and the church are the same. And then, the home. But, if you look at such homes, you'll find there's not much peace in that home. 33:28 And there's not much fellowship between husband and wife. That's not a good thing. So, put the Lord first in your life. Don't put your wife and children above the Lord. Then, you're not a disciple. But, having put God first in your life, 33:53 your wife and children are second. It's very important. Otherwise, you shouldn't have got married. Then, you come to church and ministry. And, I've followed that all my life. Otherwise, my ministry would have been destroyed long ago. 34:15 You know, sometimes, your wife could have been a great help in your ministry if you had put home second. Especially with sisters. So, keep that order in your life and then it'll be alright. Yeah. Yeah. 34:35 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Supposing your wife writes a question like this. 34:58 Whenever I tell my husband about his mistakes, he turns into a fight. So, because I don't want to fight, I stop telling him about his mistakes. But, the foolishness of my husband 35:19 keeps on increasing. How shall I act in such situations? So, we must remember this can work both ways. Are only wives foolish? Aren't husbands also foolish? 35:40 But, you know, you know, as human beings, we all have a tendency to correct and criticize more than to appreciate. You ask yourself, when was the last time you said something good to appreciate your wife? 36:03 You have to scratch your head and say, yeah, I think about two years ago I said something. When was the last time you said something to appreciate your children? We must learn to appreciate one another. 36:23 If your wife cooks a good meal or has worked very hard one day to look after your children or did something to make the home look nice or your husband has come back after a very hard day's work to earn money for you. Can't you say a good word? 36:49 Can't you say that you're thankful that he's working so hard to take care of the wife and children? In our Indian culture we don't appreciate one another enough. That's part of the heathen culture we have. 37:10 We must develop the habit of appreciating one another. Appreciate your children whenever they do something good or they did well in school or helped somebody appreciate it. And then you'll find that you get an opportunity 37:32 to correct also. and also when we correct there are many ways in which we can correct. You can correct in anger like an enemy or you can put 37:52 your arm around your husband and wife and say something very lovingly. Do you ever put your arm around your husband and wife and tell them anything? Maybe first year of marriage 38:12 you did it after that I don't know whether you do it. there's nothing wrong in expressing your affection to your wife or your husband. See that touch makes a difference. Even with our children when we pray with them 38:33 put your arm around them and pray with them. It makes a lot of difference. You know otherwise we just speak like an outsider. When you put your arm around your husband or wife or children they know that you are one with them. 38:57 My older children are 37, 40 years old I still put my arm around them and pray with them. So if they see a loving relationship like that then there's a correction 39:18 is more easily accepted. One more advice don't correct when they are in a bad mood. See thing is when they are in a good mood we say oh if I say a correction it will spoil this mood. 39:40 and also we need to see how serious the thing is. Is it spoiling your testimony as a family or is it just irritating you? when her children 40:09 are being neglected then that means the job is taking too much of her time. see if a woman is working because they have to earn that much money to live that's okay. 40:31 but if it is just to raise the standard of living much higher then it may not be wise but children should not be neglected. When children come home from school and there's no father 40:51 or mother at home it's not a very happy situation. Okay if your parents are living with you or something it's alright. But we must think of children that's most important. Children 41:11 should not feel that you have neglected them. My wife resigned her job as soon as our first son was born. We didn't have much money but we decided the home is important. 41:35 Today we don't regret it because all our four children decided to follow the Lord. There is 41:57 nothing wrong in family planning because it is preventing conception and we may not be able to take care of so many children financially or other reasons. a mother may not 42:17 be healthy enough to take care of any child. But we must not kill a child that has already been conceived in the womb. The only situation where that can be done is where medically if it's not done the mother will die. that's the 42:44 only situation. Even then it's better to consult a second doctor and not just go with one doctor's opinion. Because in our country doctors are just ready to do abortion. 43:04 so pray about it and don't be in a hurry to go. Yeah this is a very difficult 43:24 thing if you have a difficult wife. If you are more than one son then of course parents can have an option to stay in different sons' homes. If you have other brothers then 43:45 your parents can possibly stay in the home of one of their other sons. But if you are the only son then you have a responsibility to take care of them. See when I said earlier that a man 44:05 must leave father and mother it's an emotional attachment I'm talking about. That means you don't let the father and mother interfere in your life and run your home. But 44:26 you must honor them all your life. If they are sick you must take care of them. If they are in financial need you must provide for them. And if they are sick and helpless you may have to bring them to your house and look 44:42 after them. That is a godly thing to do. when Jesus was hanging on the cross he thought of his mother. Because Joseph had died. Even though Jesus had four younger brothers 45:03 because he was the eldest he thought of his mother. So you must lovingly tell your wife that see God will bless us if we do obey his word. And 45:23 when parents are helpless what should we do. But when your parents come and live with you you must tell your mother especially not to interfere in the running of the house. 45:46 Because a lot of problems come because the mother starts interfering in the things in the house. And that is sometimes the reason why wife says I can't handle it. She can't tell your mother that so you must tell your mother 46:04 that. See I want to take care of you but please you know just let my wife run the matters in the house. and pray and God will help you. 46:26 But it's a great sin to neglect old parents who need your physical or financial help. if read in the book of Proverbs it says such children will be cursed who don't take care of their old 46:47 parents. That's a very serious sin. I 47:07 don't advise postponing if it is to get to know each other better. That can take 40 years. But if 47:28 it is due to some other family situation or some other problem then it is alright. maybe you don't have the finances right now or something like that. 47:57 See it is because a man has strong sexual desire that he is a man. That's what makes him a man. 48:18 Otherwise he'd be a woman. Do you want to marry a man who's like a woman? I hope not. You'll have so many problems. God has made man with a strong 48:39 sexual desire. If you fight against it, you're fighting against God. It's not that man who produced it, it's God who gave him that. 48:59 there are so many things which God has done made in your husband or wife, you can't fight against that. Just like God has made the woman a weaker vessel. So all the 49:19 difficult physical jobs a man has to do. That is God's way. So you should not think that strong sexual desire means a lack of spirituality. 49:42 that is as foolish as saying if your husband is physically very muscular does it mean he is unspiritual. That is a physical thing. Sexual desire is not a sinful thing if it is in marriage. 50:07 The only place where it is sin is outside of marriage. For a man and husband and wife to have sex relationship three times every day is not a sin. There is no sin inside marriage. 50:29 It's just like eating three times a day. Or you eat once a day. That's up to you. If you steal from somebody else that's a sin. the desire for food and sleep and 50:49 sex are three normal desires that God has given to all human beings. So just like a desire for food God is also given a desire for sex. 51:11 And that was created before sin came into the world in Genesis 1. God told Adam and Eve be fruitful and multiply. How were they supposed to multiply before sin came into the world? 51:31 Just by shaking hands or something? No. He created the sexual function and that's how they were to have children. And he said it is very good in Genesis 1. 31. So sex is very good 51:52 if it is in marriage. Outside of marriage is a terrible sin. It's such an evil sin that God said you must stone such people to death. it's very 52:12 good in marriage and very evil outside marriage. Okay. No. Because the Bible is very clear in Matthew chapter 5. 52:32 That anyone who does that is committing adultery. The verse is Matthew. Jesus spoke about it very clearly in Matthew's Gospel in chapter 5. He says verse 52:52 32. If anyone divorces his wife except for the cause of unchastity makes adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. So there are two things there. 53:15 That you can put away a woman in divorce if there's immorality there. But when it comes to marriage it says whoever marries a divorced woman it's adultery. there are 53:37 some rare cases where for the sake of security a helpless girl may need to get married. But I would say to such a person to go for counseling to a godly person and decide 53:58 what to do. Even in some special case if a marriage is for the protection of the woman it should be done in a court never in a church. It's 54:20 something like god's second best it's not god's best. Sometimes it may be necessary okay sorry no 54:52 see we have may have learned from our mistakes in our younger days supposing I was pickpocket in my younger days but I have repented I have repented now so should I allow 55:12 my son to be a pickpocket now no I say it's evil I mean just because I did something stupid I don't want you to do it so there are many foolish things we may have done which we don't want our children to do and 55:33 when it comes to love marriage to marry somebody you love is not wrong if the other person is spiritually minded and there is an equal yoke there if there is a similarity in 55:53 economic level and social level and educational level if there is an affection there is nothing wrong in getting married okay let's 56:15 pray heavenly father help us to glorify your name in our married lives so many difficult situations many people face we thank you there's wisdom with you there is 56:37 wisdom with you and give it to us in Jesus name Amen Amen Amen Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok 57:16 Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok
