0:18 What God has prepared for those who love him in this new covenant age, one is a glorious family life, which is not possible 0:36 under the old covenant. Two of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament were Moses and Samuel. All that we read about Moses' family life 0:54 is in Exodus chapter 4, where we read of him having a fight with his wife and over a matter of disobedience to scripture. It's interesting to see that when Moses was 1:11 on his way to He's already been selected by God to be the messenger, the only man out of all the millions in Israel who was prepared through 80 years to be Israel's deliverer. 1:30 And on his way to Egypt, it says they stopped Exodus 4:24. They stopped at an inn, and the Lord met Moses and tried to kill him. Imagine, 1:49 after selecting him earlier on to be his prophet, he tries to kill him. And Zipporah, his wife, knew the reason. The reason was her son was not circumcised. 2:08 Because she was not a Jewess. She was not from Israel. And she said, "In our culture, we don't circumcise." But Moses' culture was, you cannot be an Israelite if you're not circumcised. And this boy was not a small child. 2:25 And all these years they're married, his wife was the boss in the house. Said, "I say we are not going to circumcise this child." They had an argument, and the wife won. "We're not going to follow your Lord." Moses yielded. 2:45 That's all we read about it. And finally, she cut off the foreskin of the son, verse 25, and threw it at Moses' feet and said, "You bridegroom of blood." But he was Israel's greatest prophet. And we read about him in Numbers chapter 3:04 12, that verse four verse three, he was the humblest man on the face of the earth. The reason why that is written in brackets is because it's Moses wrote the book of Numbers and that verse three he did not write. 3:23 Somebody else added it there, inspired by the Holy Spirit. Moses was the humblest man on the face of the earth. You can see it by the fact he did not fight with his wife. Um but they didn't have a good family life. Samuel, we read 3:42 about Samuel in 1 Samuel in chapter eight, that he had two And when Samuel was old, 1 Samuel 8:1, he appointed them as judges. 4:00 But verse three, his sons did not walk in his ways. But they turned aside and took bribes. And perverted justice in Israel. And the elders came together and told Samuel, "We are fed up with your children. They are not walking in your ways. Get 4:16 rid of your sons and make him make a point a king." That's how they decided to have a king because they were disappointed with Samuel's sons. And the reason we read in 1 Samuel 7 and verse 15 onwards, the previous chapter, 4:30 was because Samuel used to judge Israel and used to always traveling. Bethel, Gilgal, Mizpah, judged all these places. And then he would once in a while come back to his house, verse 17, in Ramah. He didn't spend much time with his 4:41 children. His children became wayward. Now, do you know, according to the New Testament standard, in 1 Timothy and chapter 3, it says that to be an elder in a new covenant church, he must be, verse four, one who manages 5:01 his household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he take care of the church of God? So, according to that, if Samuel was living today, 5:16 we could not appoint him as an elder in an CFC church. Sorry, Samuel, you may be a great preacher, but you can't be an elder. You don't qualify. Your children are wayward. You haven't brought them up properly. There you see the tremendous difference 5:32 between Old Covenant and New Covenant. Is it important to have a good family life in the Old Covenant? No. Um Job had a wife who was he told her husband to commit suicide. You read in Job chapter 2. "Aren't you fed up serving this God? Go 5:49 and commit suicide. Um of course I believe that by the end of the book of Job she changed because she saw how God honored her husband who was sitting like a leper outside the gate. How God honored him, blessed him double. 6:06 And then she came to believe we I think she came to believe because she produced 10 more children. So they must have had a good relationship he assumed, but family relationship is not at all important in the old covenant. 6:17 So if your family relationship as a Christian is not important for you, you are an old covenant person whatever you may preach. Whatever doctrine you may say, if you have if you believe that your relationship with your wife is not 6:31 important or the way you bring up your children is not important, you whatever talk about grace you may talk about, you are an old covenant Christian. A new covenant Christian, I'm not saying his family life is perfect, but he gives 6:45 importance to his family, his relationship with his wife is important, his bringing up his children is important. In fact in Titus chapter 1 it says Paul told Titus when you appoint elders, it must be someone who is above reproach, the husband of 7:01 one wife, and verse 6 who have children who are believers. Ooh. Not accused of dissipation or rebellion. And so it's interesting that the argument he uses in 1 Timothy 3 is 7:20 if you can't bring up four or five children at home, how are you going to look after a church of 40, 50 or 100 people? That's ridiculous. You're not able to bring up four, five children at home in a godly way, and you're trying to bring a 7:37 50, 100 member church? And the same thing we can say about marriage. I mean, if you can't live with your wife who's different from you in a godly way, how you going to work together with other elders who are different from you? 7:53 So, marriage is a very important matter in the new covenant. And that's one of the things God has prepared for us. Uh in the old covenant, you never read a big section on how husbands and wives must behave with each other. 8:12 There are a few verses in the book of Proverbs about bringing up children. But almost nothing about how husbands and wives must relate to each other like in Ephesians there's a big section on husbands and wives. Again, repeated 8:26 in Colossians and Peter repeats husband-wife relationship in 1 Peter 3. There's a lot of emphasis in the new covenant on family life. And yet, I feel that it's possible that in our churches many brothers don't have a good proper 8:44 relationship with their wives, and I don't know how serious they are about bringing up their children in the fear of God. So, I thought I would share something along that line because we don't want 9:04 to have churches which are only on Sunday preaching a lot of stuff but which is not true in their homes. You know, the Old Testament, the message was come and hear. H E A R. Hear what the Lord has to say. The prophet has come down from the 9:24 mountain and he will tell you exactly how you are to behave and live. But don't look at the family life of the prophet. No, no, no. Don't look at that. That's all unimportant. Forget it. Listen to his message. But in the new covenant 9:43 it's not come and hear. Come and hear is an old covenant message. So if your church is only saying come and hear, we've got a wonderful preacher here. That's an old covenant church. In the new covenant it is come and see 10:01 what the Lord has done. Turn to John chapter 1. You read in John chapter 1 we read that John John the Baptist was baptizing. 10:20 Verse 29, he saw Jesus coming. And uh 35, the next day John was standing with two of his disciples. John 1:35 and he saw Jesus and says there's the lamb of God. The two disciples heard John the Baptist 10:38 speak and they followed Jesus. And Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them what are you seeking? They said Rabbi, where are you staying? He said come and you will see. 10:57 That's a new covenant message. Lord Jesus, even today the question comes, Lord, where are you staying? Come to this brother's home such and such a street such and such a city or town or village. 11:15 Come and see, that's where I'm staying. Come and see that home. Or come to this church which meets on such and such a road such and such a town, come and see. That's where I am. Lord, where are you staying? Come and see, I'll show you." 11:33 It is not come and hear. Light You are the light of the world. There are only two pictures Jesus used in that connection. You are the salt of the earth. You're the light of the world. There's a lot of difference between salt 11:49 and light. They have two different functions. But what is common about salt and light? One common thing. They don't make any sound. Salt is silent. But the moment you put your food into your mouth, you know 12:08 whether salt is there or not. That is the power of salt. And you don't need a handful of salt. Even half a teaspoon of salt in a big bowl, you taste it immediately. It's powerful. Light If you have one bright light here, just 12:25 that one bright light, forget switch off all the other ones. One light. It doesn't make any sound. When a tube light starts making sound, you know something wrong with it. A good light does not make any sound. It's just shining. 12:41 And you see it. Come and see. Come and taste. That is salt and light. So, a lot of elders and preachers are concentrating on I must preach better and try and get a reputation as a great 13:00 preacher in the church. Brother, you're seeking after the wrong thing. Are you trying to be an old covenant preacher? Forget it. Your longing should be come and see. Come and see how I live with my wife at 13:19 home. Come anytime. Come and stay with me. Or come, make a surprise visit without any warning. But I know if you come and stay with somebody they'll start behaving themselves. I'll tell you what, go to the window sometime without their 13:36 knowing and listening. See how they live there. I can say that come any day, stand by one of my windows, the gates are always open, and listen morning, noon, or night. My wife and I always talking, come and listen anytime. 13:56 Come and see. I say that is very important for me because that's new covenant. That's why when we invite a preacher to preach from the pulpit, I want to know what his family life is like. I want to know how he's brought up his 14:12 children. I want to know how he lives with his wife. That is why I told you earlier you can't just uh just invite anybody to come and speak or read anybody's book. Nowadays Christians read all types of books, they don't know anything about that author. 14:31 Would you read Would you listen to a doctor you don't know anything about who who doesn't even got a degree, just fake degree he's put on the board. Would you go to such a doctor? He may give you wrong wrong instructions. 14:43 We are so careful to go to if you're really serious, why do you go to a reliable hospital? Because I say, "Hey, I want a good diagnosis." Why aren't we equally careful in the books we read? What type of person is this who's 14:55 written this book? There are people who told me, "Oh brother, you should listen to this TV preacher, this woman, fantastic the way she speaks." I said, "Do you know anything about her the way she handles money?" Nowadays it's very easy, just Google 15:12 that person's name and you'll find out all about the money which these people are earning and how they get it from a whole lot of poor people and how they appoint their own children and husband all on the boards of their 15:25 committees and it's a racket. It's a family racket. A lot of so but they're very gifted in preaching. Do you think Jesus would select a person to be a disciple apostle of his if he's only good at preaching? The There were some first class 15:42 preachers among the Pharisees. I don't think Peter was such a great preacher. But he was a godly man. So we need to understand what is this new covenant all about? It's about family life. Not just your family life, the type of 15:58 people you appreciate. I tell you there are people sitting here who appreciate certain charismatic teachers and preachers on YouTube and you listen to them because you think they are preaching great. Do you know that their family lives might be messed. What 16:15 is their attitude? Money first of all, forget family life. What about their attitude to money? How do they get their money? You see sometimes in these uh YouTube videos sometimes they show you the congregation and I can I look at the 16:30 congregation. A lot of poor people sitting there. I can make out. And they're collecting money from them for this fellow to buy his private jet and you listen to him? Because he's a good preacher? You might as well listen to a politician. Some of 16:45 those politicians are very good preachers. So I'm saying is I find that even in CFC churches a lot of people are without discernment. And you can see that by the shallowness of their life even after many years. There's no development. They're just 17:04 listening to these wonderful preachers on YouTube. Paul said, "Follow me as I follow Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1. He repeated it again in 1 Corinthians 4, repeated it again in 1 Corinthians 11, follow me, follow those who are like me. 17:22 So, our family life is very, very important. You may never preach in a pulpit, but your family can be a the way you live in your home can be a message. People come to your home and they see. Your children can be a message to 17:37 others. See Psalm, turn to the Psalms. Psalm 100 and 27. Psalm 127, verse 3, children are a gift of the 17:59 Lord. Like verse 4, like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. God gives you children like arrows. 18:17 And you must spend your time with them whenever they are at home. Most of them, if they go to college and all, if they go somewhere else for college, you have them at home only for 18 years. And then they are gone. If they're studying locally, then of 18:32 course, maybe 25 years. Then you're lucky. My four sons left home, every one of them, when they were 18 years. And I'd see them about once a year, for about a month or so. I couldn't visit them. They're far away, 18:49 studying in college. And you have them for such a short time. And if you don't do a good job in those 18 years, you have lost them. You lost them for life. They go and marry some wrong person or they become wayward or something happens. 19:09 They are like arrows that you have to sharpen during the time they're at home so that you can fire them at the devil. So that you will not It says in verse five, you'll not be ashamed when you speak with your enemies. Cuz your 19:28 your sons and your daughters are like arrows that you can fire at Satan. Take that seriously. You know in the Old Testament they preached what they didn't practice. Do you know who wrote the song? Solomon. Do you know who wrote Proverbs about 19:49 bringing up children and all? Solomon. Great example of an old covenant preacher who never practiced one bit all that he wrote down. All correct theories. There's nobody in the Old Testament who wrote as much about bringing up children 20:05 as Solomon. Learn from that how you can be a first-class old covenant preacher and your children can be wayward. Whereas it's so different when it comes to the new covenant. So I want to say my brothers and sisters, value your family life. That's 20:24 what I'm trying to tell you. And let me turn to 1 Peter chapter 3. It's a wonderful passage about husband-wife relationships. In 20:45 uh I told you the other day the first day Ephesians 5 5:21 says, maybe we'll look at that first I let Well, I just showed you, let me repeat it. Turn to Ephesians 5 first and then we'll come to 1 Peter. Ephesians 5, in case you missed it 21:04 verse 21, that's where the family life begins. This teaching on family life of course verse 18, be filled with the Holy Spirit, that's where it begins. And once you're filled with the Holy Spirit always give thanks in your home, verse 21:20 20, let's relate it to the home. Be filled with the spirit and speak to one another graciously, sing always give thanks in your home for everything. And thus be subject husband and wife be subject to one another. Not just wife for husband or husband to 21:39 wife, subject to one another in the fear and reverence for Christ. And then in that spirit wives be subject to your husbands like the church is to Christ, verse 24. 21:57 And husbands, how are they to be subject to their wives? By loving them as Christ loved the church, being the head of the body. You know, it says in verse 28, husbands must love their wife like their own body. 22:15 What does that mean? It means that if my hand gets hurt here even a little accidentally I scrape something and a wound came there. You know who knows it first? 22:34 Not this hand, my head. My brain, head means brain. Immediately my brain knows, hey my hand is hurt. I got to do something about it. What a wonderful head. Imagine if you're a husband like that. 22:53 And as soon as your wife is hurt somewhere, you know it and you want to fix it. I mean the of course if you're not a good head you can say, why in the world did you not careful when you go and put your hand over there?" 23:07 That's another type of head. But a real head doesn't ask, "Hey, we got to fix this." Dear brothers and sisters, whether it's your wife or your children, when they have made a mess of something, don't ask, "Why?" 23:24 Don't give them a lecture. First, fix the problem. Your Your word should be, "Okay, let's fix it." Then, you can say what they should do so that it doesn't happen again. See, when That's the Jesus method with Peter. Peter was walking on the water looking 23:44 at him, Jesus, and suddenly looked here and then he began to sink. And Jesus first fixed it. He didn't give him a lecture. If he had given a lecture, Peter would have sunk to the bottom by then. He held him, fixed it. Peter, let's stand. Now, let me give you 24:01 my lecture. Why did you lose your faith? Why didn't you look at me? So, I'm not saying you cannot correct your husband or wife, but first fix it. When you told your children to do something, uh no, you You told your children, "Listen, let me help you to do 24:17 that thing." And you know how some children are, "Leave me alone, Dad. I know how to do it." And you leave them alone, they make a mess of it, and they come to you and say, "Daddy, I'm sorry." Don't say, "I told you." No, no, no, no, 24:31 no. Never use the word, "I told you." to your wife or your children, because that's the expert. Nobody's an expert. Say, "Okay, son, let's fix it." After fixing it, don't stop there. Do what 24:48 Jesus did to Peter. "Okay, son. See, there are some things, my boy or my girl, which are little too difficult for children. That is why I told you at the beginning, I'll help you. So, remember this in future. That daddy is here not to control you. I 25:07 want you to learn to do it yourself one day. Even if it's something like putting a chain on a bicycle. They've never done it before. I say, "Okay, I'll show you. Otherwise, you'll keep on trying, trying, you won't know how to do it. 25:19 I'll show you how to put that chain that slipped out onto that bicycle. Next time, you can do it. Let's try it." So, you know, always our aim must be not to show wife or children, "You're wrong." Any idiot can do that. But, 25:35 to show how they can learn to do it better next time. Isn't that how God deals with us? When does God say, "I told you that." No, he says, You say, "Lord, I messed up." Okay, son. Cleansed. Are you sorry? Cleansed. 25:54 Let's do it better the next time. This is new covenant family life. Now, we don't start like this. None of us start like this. I didn't start like this. We've all made so many mistakes. And all that we teach in the church is 26:08 not to condemn you for the way you did it for so many years in your home, but saying, "From now on, let's do it this way. It's a better way for husband-wife relationships. It's a better way to bring up your children. Your children will be encouraged 26:27 more than just corrected and criticized." Always saying, you know, if you tell your little child, "Don't do this. Don't do that. Don't do the other thing." Have you heard the story of that little boy whose father and mother were always 26:38 telling him, "Don't do this. Don't do this." And he went to school and the teacher asked him, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Johnny Don't." Cuz that's what he was always hearing. "Johnny, don't do this. And Johnny, 26:50 don't do that." He thought that was his name. His name was Johnny don't. What's the name of your child? Something don't. No, there must be a better way to help our children to do it better. 27:09 Even when they are older, they are not wise. They think they are wise. I I remember a godly man in Europe who would tell the young people in his church, and I'm not saying we should do it. I don't do it myself. But this is 27:23 what he said. He was a godly 80-year-old man, so he could say it. He said, "All you young people who think you know too much, below 35 years old, stand up." You see, he was a man of authority. All those people respected him so highly. 27:38 That's why he could say that. All you below 35, stand up. And he said, "Now say say this. I'm young. I'm stupid. I know almost nothing, so I will submit to my elders." And you know where I heard it from? I heard it from some of those young 27:56 people. They said, "This man loved us so much. He didn't want us to make a mess of our life, and he told us to do that. And we did it, and we respected him even more. And we realized that we 28:15 have a lot of things to learn by submitting to the elders." Yeah. There's a lot of things we can learn if we learn submission. So now we can turn to 1 Peter and chapter 3. 1 Peter chapter 3. If you want to understand 1 Peter 3 28:38 verse 1, in the same way. Okay? In the same way. If you miss out that phrase, you won't understand that verse. If you just read it as wives be submissive to your husband, you've missed out a major part of that verse. 28:57 You will not understand it. So, when you read in the same way, you know, when Peter wrote it, he didn't break it up into chapters and verses. It was just one big letter. So, in the same way means you got to go back to 1 Peter 2 29:14 and verse 20. What credit is there if when you sin, you're harshly treated, you endure it. That's not a great thing. But when you do what is right, and you suffer for it in the same way you wives, you do what is right, and you're 29:34 misunderstood, and you patiently endure it. This finds favor with God. Have any of you wives experienced this? That you did what is right, and your husband misunderstood you, and you suffered in some way, and you patiently endured it? 29:53 Wow. This finds favor with God instead of having a fight with your husband about it, because you have been called for this purpose. Remember, in the same way you wives, Christ also suffered for you wives, 30:12 leaving you an example to follow in his steps, who never committed a sin, no lie was found in his mouth. When he was reviled, you wives, when your husbands revile you, he did not revile in return. While suffering, 30:32 he uttered no threats, but entrusted himself to God who judges righteously. What an example. In the same way, we're chapter 3 verse 1, you wives submit to your husbands who don't obey the word. It's talking about unconverted 30:50 husbands. Godless, unconverted husband, and you're a god-fearing wife. And you can win them without a word by your behavior of your wives, you know. In past years, I've seen a couple of 31:08 really bossy sisters who know so much of the word of God. Their husbands are not converted, would never come to CFC. But looking at these wives who know so much of the scripture and is pretty strong, I could say their husbands will never 31:26 get converted. Never. These wives know so much of the word of God, and they come to CFC regularly, and they'll be here, and they can share so many things, but their wives husbands will never get converted because they are so strong 31:42 and bossy. They're not the type of wife mentioned here who wins her husband without even speaking a word by her behavior. I mean, is that I sometimes wonder, are those verses in some people's Bibles? They don't read it. 32:00 Because they observe your respectful behavior. And I can also point to you examples of wives who were despised by their non-unconverted husbands who were not allowed to come to a Christian church 32:19 and who took I mean, secretly came to a secretly took baptism. And I would tell them, "Respect your husband. If he tells you don't come to church, don't come. 32:37 Respect your husband. If you can come secretly, okay, but don't openly rebel against him. And let him see your respectful behavior. And if he's a non-Christian and he asks you to put some mark on your head, wear it. God doesn't see that. God 32:55 doesn't see all that. It may be whatever mark. Don't bow down to an idol, but if he puts paint yellow or green on your face, I mean, children also put paint on their face. Take it like that. Don't take it seriously. Put it. 33:10 And be respectful. And I have seen such wives their husbands are converted. Without a word. Not by preaching. But by respectful behavior. I have seen that happen in some CFC wives. And I've seen the 33:29 opposite of CFC's wives whose husbands are never converted till their death. So, this is Christianity. The new covenant is a very, very great emphasis on family life. 33:47 And you as wives don't adorn yourself with you know, in the world they adorn themselves with jewelry and dresses and all that. You also must have an adornment, but not this outward adornment. There is an adornment for a Christian. 34:01 It is that adornment which will never perish. Gold will perish in eternity. But here is an imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. That is how the holy women used to adorn themselves in 34:20 olden times. This is, for example, Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. There was an adornment she had by respectfully treating her husband. And she's called a woman of faith and 34:38 you will be her child if you do what is right and not be afraid of anything. Don't be afraid that if you're like that, your husband will take advantage of you. The only place where you can disobey your husband is where he tells you to do 34:51 something against God's word, tell a lie, bow down to an idol, or something like that. But in the same way, in the same way applies not only to wives, like I told you in Ephesians 5, "Be subject to one another, husbands and 35:10 wives, wives and husbands." So, in the same way wives, and then verse 7, the husbands are not left out. "In the same way husbands." Husbands also must follow Jesus who was reviled and cuz sometimes you may have a very difficult wife. 35:28 Who the tables are reversed and you're a wholehearted radical husband and your wife is misbehaves, unconverted, "In the same way husbands, you've also got to bear with your wives." One of the most godly men in the history 35:47 of Christianity as I know it was a man called John Wesley. He lived 250 to more than 250 years ago in England. He was an Anglican priest who gave up the Anglican church and started a movement 36:06 which is a very powerful house church movement in those early days. They didn't have any name. It was a house church movement in different places, people who had come out of the dead denominational Anglican system. They started meeting in homes and 36:23 um they're very methodical in the way they were taught by John Wesley to pray and read the Bible and meet together and they were so methodical that they people called them Methodists. And that is what is called the Methodist 36:39 Church today, but it that's not what they call themselves. And um he had a very difficult wife. He married very late, in his 50s or something. And his wife was a very rich, spoiled 36:58 woman. I don't know if it's one of the mistakes John Wesley made. But I think God used it to show that Wesley's holiness was genuine. She was so evil to him. Some of you who think you've got a bad wife. If John Wesley would write a letter and 37:15 stick the envelope and keep it on the table for him to mail um put in the mailbox. He would go off early morning at 5:00 to preach on a horseback. She would sometimes open those letters and write some nasty things um bad things in those paper in that 37:34 letter and stick it and mail it to this person. That person would think that John Wesley wrote it. That's how evil she was. He was going to preach to people at 5:00 in the morning and she would he would think that she's chasing he's chasing 37:47 after some woman. He she would take a horse and go after him. And sometimes John Wesley had some wonderful co-workers who respected him so much. And when he was speaking to them sometimes she would come and pull his beard and 38:01 treat him so badly in the presence of his co-workers. Have you got a wife like that? You think your wife is bad? Look what John Wesley had. And yet in his whole life he never spoke evil of his wife. His holiness was genuine. 38:16 Sometimes I think God allowed him to marry that a difficult wife just to show that he is such a godly man that even with a wife like that he doesn't speak evil of her. So in the same way husbands, live with your wives verse seven, 38:35 in an understanding way. What do you have to understand? What is the thing you have to understand about your wife? Here it is written that just this that she is a weaker vessel. She's weaker physically, she's weaker 38:54 emotionally. She may be very clever intellectually, but she's a weaker vessel particularly in her emotions and you know, women have certain things in their bodies that men do men don't have which makes them weak. They have moods because of their 39:12 but what their bodies are made of, you know, because women are made to be very sensitive. They are made sensitive for one reason, because they're going to be mothers. And mothers must be very sensitive to the needs of the little baby. 39:28 And so women are made with that type of system in their body that can easily detect when a child is crying and the father doesn't have a clue. Why is this child crying? I don't know. He just gets angry with the child. The mother 39:43 knows immediately, I know what it needs. Is it because the mother is cleverer than the husband? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's because she's got that thing in her system which makes her very sensitive. But because she's got that sensitive nature, 39:56 she cries easily, is very sensitive to small things and tends to be sometimes very extravagant. Buy me that sari, buy me that sari and all that. And sometimes very miserly also. Like I can tell her husband, "See, if you had gone walked another mile, you 40:15 could have bought those vegetables for 50 paisa less. And the husband says, "Walk 1 mile to get save 50 paisa?" But women are like that. They want to save money on one side and they want to spend money on themselves on another side. 40:34 But understand she's a weaker vessel. If you don't understand that, you will not have a happy marriage. Don't criticize her. You're strong. Don't ask her, "Why won't you lift the suitcase? See how I can lift it." Stupid. 40:51 It's the same type of stupidity to say, "Why do you cry? I won't cry if I see that." She's a woman. She's trained to be a mother. You're not trained to be a mother, brother. That's why you don't cry. If you had the same type of hormones and 41:01 things like that in your body, you'd be crying much before that. So, we have to learn to recognize that they are different. Live in an understanding way, and that requires patience. Because you have to show her honor. How do you 41:20 show her honor? How does a husband show honor to his wife? How many of Let me ask you, how many of I'm not asking you to raise your hands. How many of you husbands believe you must honor your wife? And show it, not just honor. 41:35 Show her honor. That's the word of God. And by the way, sisters, that word is not for you to read and tell your husbands what to do. Like I said the other day, don't read other people's letters. This letter is not addressed to you. 41:53 It's the husband who has to read that. Like wives submit to your husband, it's not for husbands to take up. Wives must read that letter. This letter is for our husbands. Show her honor. You must treat your wife respectfully. 42:13 Like I remember I heard one wife told her husband, "You know how a stranger comes to the door? Total stranger knocks at the door and maybe they come to the wrong house, but you speak so kindly. Oh, hello." 42:32 Especially if it's a lady. And you tell you speak so nicely. And the wife said, "Can you speak to me at least like that every day?" That's enough. That's enough. Just like you talk to that strange pretty lady who comes to 42:47 the door, especially if she's pretty and she's a strange lady and says, "Oh, I've come to the wrong house." And the husband says, "Oh, that's all right. It's no problem." And the wife says, "Can you speak to me like that at least even I'm a stranger. 43:03 Talk to me like that. But you don't talk to me like that." Dear brothers, shall we prophesy that we're going to have some better marriages from now on in CFC churches? Show honor. I believe that husbands and wives 43:22 must learn to respect. The word respect comes in verse two for wives also. Your respect for your husband. Husbands require respect from their wives. I'll tell you that. Do you know, brothers, what is the 43:40 number one thing that your wives want from you? Number one thing. It's love. They must know that you love them. You must show that by your actions and also by your words. Don't say like that husband, "Well, I 43:59 told you 30 years I loved you and I haven't changed my mind. I still love you." No, they need to hear it again and again. They need to hear it again again, just like a man needs sex again and again, not just once 30 years ago. 44:13 There's a need for the wives to hear it again and again. Just like you have sexual desire again and again. Respect is what and sisters, respect is what your husband needs. If you disrespect him, 44:31 you have like pricked his ego. Now, a godly husband will ignore it. It's okay. But if you're a godly wife, you will always speak respectfully to your husband, even if you disagree. And you'll speak respectfully to your 44:51 wife, too. That is the way you show honor. You know, speech is a very good indication of what's in your heart. I've many times had to tell people You know, people say something. I've had that experience with different people 45:08 who tell me, when I say, "Why did you speak like that?" "Oh, brother, I didn't really mean that." They try to justify themselves. No, I believe what Jesus said. Your words come out from your heart. From the fullness of the heart, the 45:24 words come. You can justify it by saying, "I was under pressure or it I I didn't really mean that. I wanted to say something else and I meant this." All those excuses are saying that Jesus is a liar. It did not come from my heart. I was 45:40 just a bit tired or a bit careless. Say Jesus spoke the truth. That careless word came out from my heart. Matthew chapter 12, verse 34 to 38. Read it sometime. From the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks. It is in your heart. 45:58 That's why you spoke it. Either that or Jesus is a liar. Or you know better than And you husbands also, the way you speak to your wife, I tell you it comes from your heart. You think you love your wife so much. Yeah, but there's a little bit of poison 46:13 there in the midst of that in your heart. And it's that's why you say those words. And that's why when you get victory over sin and your heart gets cleansed and empowered by the Holy Spirit, you will never speak even once disrespectfully to 46:25 your husband or your wife. Not even once. Not even when you're under pressure. Because it's gone from your heart. Like Amy Carmichael used to say, if a cup is full of sweet water, however hard you shake it, only sweet water comes out. 46:44 You cannot shake and shake and a sweet water cup and make bitter water come out. I believe that. You shake a man and insult him, sweet words will come out. Or you shake a woman and insult her, sweet words will come out. It depends what is in the 46:58 heart. I believe that 100% because I believe Jesus knows better about our nature than you and I. We are such Pharisees who try to justify ourselves in every situation. Human nature is like that. I was under pressure. I had a tough day 47:16 at work. And this thing happened and that thing happened. And I didn't really mean that. I wasn't thinking about that. 101 excuses the devil gives us instead of humbly saying, "Jesus said out of the abundance of the heart the 47:28 mouth speaks." Jesus also said, "Every careless word you speak you will give an account on the day of judgment." I believe that. Turn to Matthew chapter 12. Heaven and earth will pass away. These words will not pass away. 47:46 And I say this because I have seen numerous examples of brothers and sisters who think they are so holy who will always justify the wrong words they speak. I was under pressure. I did not mean that. What I wanted to say was this, but 48:02 something else came out of my mouth. Brother, sister, just humble yourself and accept what Jesus said. And that is Matthew 12:35, the good man or the good woman brings out of the good treasure what is good. The evil man or woman brings out of the 48:17 evil treasure what is evil. You say, "No, no, no, I'm not an evil man or woman." Listen to the words of Jesus. He says you are. And I tell you he said every single careless word Matthew 12:36 that a man or a woman speaks, they will definitely give an 48:34 account for it in the day of judgment. And you're not repenting of it because you say, "I didn't come out of my heart. It's just I was under pressure or this thing, that thing. I didn't mean that." That means you don't take responsibility 48:47 for it. That's like Adam. "No, no, no, it was not me. My wife gave it to me." This business of making excuses is as old as Adam. The only one who did not make excuses was Jesus. He took the blame for our sin. In the same way, 49:07 husbands and wives. And then he says in the day of judgment, verse 37, "By your words you will be justified. By your words you will be condemned." And look at this strong word. Verse 34, "You brood of vipers, how can you feel evil speak what is 49:25 good? Because the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." That poison comes out of the viper's mouth. Because it's hidden inside. And he says, "You brood of vipers." Do you ever believe Jesus can speak like that? 49:44 You can be delivered completely from it if you take the blame. And say, "Lord, I'm sorry that time when I spoke like that, it came from my heart." I don't want to say the pressure or this 50:01 that thing. The cup was shaken. The cup was shaken severely. What was inside came out. If it was sweet water, sweet water would have come out. It was bitter water. So, if some enemy came and shook me, and bitter water came out, I would say, 50:20 "Thank you. My friend, thank you so much. I thought I had sweet water inside, but you have shown me that there was bitter water inside. You have I'm really thankful to you for showing me what's inside my heart. Now, I can 50:31 cleanse myself." You know, if somebody came to your house one day and was very angry and threw away I mean, pulled down all some of the furniture and cupboards in one room, and from underneath that couple of cobras came 50:49 come came running out, would you thank that man for doing it? Oh, sure. Thank you so much. Those cobras were living there for so long till you came in anger and upturned all that furniture and the cobras came out. Thank you. Thank you so much. 51:06 My dear wife, my dear husband, thank you so much. The words that came out of my mouth like a snake's poison, you showed me what is in my heart. Thank you, my darling wife, my darling husband. You are going to help me to be a better 51:25 man because I'm going to repent of it. But, that could have happened so many times in your life, and you just ignore it. Oh, no, no, no, it is because of this or because of that. Dear brothers and sisters, Jesus said to 51:40 the Pharisees, "You are those who justify yourself." They never changed. Give your wife honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. That's what it says in 1 Peter 3:7. As a fellow heir means you're both sitting on the throne 51:56 together. Husband and wife are to sit as king and queen. I tell wives, do you want to be the queen in your house? Treat your husband like a king. 52:15 You'll be the queen. You treat your husband like a beggar, you'll be the beggar's wife. Treat your husband like a king, you'll automatically be the queen. You're joint heirs. Sitting on the same throne. 52:34 Respect one another. Okay? My hope I've spoken equally to husbands and wives. I've no partiality here. We are all guilty, brothers and sisters. I have been guilty from my marriage days. 52:53 But one day God opened my eyes to see the new covenant. And that changed my not only my life, it changed my family life. And because it changed my family life, it changed my children. So, I want to say a little bit about 53:11 bringing up children. I'm not an expert. I have made many mistakes as a father. And my wife also spent most of the time bringing up children, so she's the one who can speak about it more, but she also will say honestly that she 53:30 didn't do it all perfectly. We tried. One thing we can say, both my wife and I, we were really passionate in our hearts. We want our children to follow Jesus Christ 100%. It doesn't matter what they are, how 53:49 much they accomplish in the world. That is absolutely unimportant for us. I used to tell my children, "I don't want you to come first in the class in school." No. I want you to do your best. If I only want you to come first in the 54:07 class, I'll put you in the corporation school. Where all the children from the slums come to study, you'll always come first. I'm not interested in your coming first. I'm interested in you getting a good education, so I put you in a good 54:21 school. Do your best. That's all. And after doing your best, you come 15th in the class, praise the Lord. I'm happy. So, I didn't ever feel that they must be great in in the class. I 54:41 remember when they used to they sometimes would get prizes, and after prize day when they came home, we would always pray. And I would tell them, "No, don't show your prizes or your certificates to anybody. Go and hide them away somewhere. 54:56 That's not to display, to show anybody. And remember, Jesus does not say you got first prize just because you got good marks in maths and science. There could be 800 people sitting there today in the school prize-giving day who never 55:12 got any prizes. But some of them may be better than you because they are kind and helpful and good to weaker students. So, have you been like that? Have you been helpful to the weaker ones in your class? I was so happy to hear 55:29 for that from some other students or teacher that one of my children was sitting after school teaching someone who was weaker in maths something about maths. I said, "Praise God. I believe that's what Jesus would do if he was in a school." 55:45 And that other boy was not a very well-behaved boy. So, the teacher was thinking in my son is getting into bad company, mixing with that that type of boy when he didn't She didn't know that he was actually trying to help that poor boy in mathematics. 56:00 I say, "Okay. Don't worry if you get a bad name. You're helping somebody. If your daughter what is good, praise the Lord." I would say, "What did Jesus do when he was in school? He didn't make friends with all the rich children. 56:13 No, he would look for someone who was maybe limping a bit or lisping a bit or not speaking properly because of language problem or wearing simple clothes, not the posh clothes like the rich ones. I think Jesus would look for such people 56:28 and make friends with them. And we must teach our children make friends with such people. Be an example. Even in the church, don't just mingle with all the rich people's children. Mingle with the weaker ones, the poorer 56:43 ones. It's a wonderful thing to be in CFC because we've got such a cross-section of rich and poor and all are equal. God's eyes and one thank God for the wonderful Tamil Nadu brothers who are very who are the poorest among our 57:01 churches and who come for our conferences and we love them. We love their children. And I want my children to mingle with them. Yeah, that's how I wanted it even when they were here. I've seen the result of parents in CFC 57:17 Bangalore who did not allow their children to mingle with these poor Tamil Nadu children. I see where those boys are today, wayward, godless. Be careful. Thank God for the privilege you have 57:34 to be in a church where all are equal, rich and poor. You ask yourself this question. Particularly after your children some of your children get educated and then they get good jobs, sometimes abroad. 57:53 And when they come back, do they long to fellowship with the poor children in CFC? Or they have no time for that because they have become big now. Educated. You ask yourself. Don't judge other people's children, please. 58:10 No, no, no. Don't judge other people's children at all. Your own children. When they come back for a visit, who do they mingle with? There you know how you brought them up. It's very easy to find fault with somebody else's children. We 58:29 have wonderful opportunity in conferences. I believe God has given us a tremendous privilege. Very often it is because parents don't have those values themselves that they don't put those values into their children. Learn 58:50 to mingle. The Bible says in Romans in chapter 12, it's quite an exhortation. Romans chapter 12 has got a lot of exhortations about how to behave in the church. If you want to know how to behave in the church, speaks about the body of Christ 59:08 in Romans 12:5 and after that, number of things how to behave in the church. And one of the things it says is verse 16, middle of verse 16, associate with the lowly people. Associate with lowly people. 59:26 That means associate yourself with the poorer people. Not the high-level people. It's a word in scripture. That's one very important thing and to teach our children to honor God in their life. 59:44 Show them by your example that you read the Bible in the morning. You can preach about that for years. But if they see you every morning with a Bible when they get up from bed, 1:00:02 they'll never forget that message. It'll have a permanent impact on them. I tell you, one of my sons told me fairly recently, said, "Dad, I can never forget when we 1:00:21 were kids, we get up from bed, come to the sitting room, we'd see you sitting there with the Bible." I was surprised that I that they even noticed it. Teach them to value God's word. Teach them to study it. 1:00:40 Ask them questions from God's word when you sit around the dining table. Get them to be interested. Get a picture book Bible or something. We must put the value of scripture into their heads. We must not 1:01:00 take them to see movies which are not good. Even if you have television in our home in your home, we never had television in our home and our children grew up. I don't even have it now. 1:01:19 I never because I've got so much to do. I don't have time, to tell you honestly. I don't have time to do all that. I mean, if I see the news on the internet, I can just see it for a few moments and that's it. But yeah, I must I believe as I said, we 1:01:37 must be aware of the news around the world and I'm always keen to know that. But that must not be our life. Our life must be in God's word. That we allow children see that we are serious for about it. It says in Proverbs 22 and verse 6, 1:01:55 train up a child in the way he should go and when he's old, he will not depart from it. When I when I your older couple, sometimes we have older couples coming to CFC who never knew these things. They were not in the church when they were 1:02:10 young. And uh they're old and their children are all wayward. They say, "What shall we do, brother Zac? I never understood these things when I was a newly married person." I said, "Brother, there are newly married people who come to CFC who still 1:02:26 didn't understand these things, whose children are wayward, even those those children were born in CFC. And their children are wayward. It's all a question how seriously you take God's word. But don't get discouraged. If your children are wayward and gone 1:02:39 away from the Lord, you promise me one thing. That you and your wife will kneel down every day and take 5 minutes to pray for them. And before you pray for them, confess your sin. Say, "Lord, I was ignorant or I didn't care for your word and I did 1:02:56 not bring up my child in the way of the Lord. Be honest." That's sometimes very difficult to confess that I did not bring up my child properly. Your pride will hit you. You say, "No, no, no, don't say that." Kill your pride and say it. 1:03:11 "Lord, I did not bring up my child properly. That's why he went astray or she went astray." "Lord, I confess it. Forgive me. You're forgiven. Now, Lord, what shall I do? Then the Lord will help you. But if you keep on justifying yourself, 1:03:26 Lord, I tried my best, but children are different. You know that. As if God doesn't know that. Don't make excuses. You'll never get your children come back to the Lord if you make excuses before the Lord. But first step, humble yourself and 1:03:38 acknowledge your sin. And say, Lord, I made a mistake. Then, next step, Now, Lord, what shall I do? Tell me. How can I bring that child back to you? I want him back. I said, I guarantee he'll come back to you. If you first 1:03:51 confess your sin, and both you and your wife kneel down before God and spend 5 minutes a day praying fervently for that son or daughter, and you'll see a miracle. Prayer is like a rope, like a lasso you put around your child's body. There's a 1:04:06 lot of slack in it. It'll go for a long time. Gradually, you can pull them back in. And don't get discouraged if some of you parents who've been in CFC itself, and you see your children going through a difficult phase in their teenage years, 1:04:19 you know, from the age of 16 to sort of 25, 28, there some of them some go through smoothly, some go through a rough patch. Don't get discouraged. In the scriptures, you read people came of age when they were 30. 1:04:37 Joseph, when he was 30. David, when he was 30. Ezekiel, when he was 30. Jesus, when he was 30. Okay? So, let me read it like this. Train up a child in the way he should go. When he's 30 years old, he will not depart from it. 1:04:53 Isn't that a comfort? Don't get discouraged. Just be patient. Till then, if you find your child a bit wayward, and don't give lectures to him. Embrace him. Love him. And let him know that you love him and that you're there for him. 1:05:12 You can help him to come to the Lord and follow the right way. And even if they have failed so much, there are many godly men I've heard of and known who came to the Lord when they were 28, 30 years old. They were wayward till then. 1:05:28 Great man of God, Charles Finney. I think he was converted when he was 28. He was almost like an atheist till then. I don't know how his parents brought him up, but he was one of the greatest revivalists in America. He was converted 1:05:41 very late, 28 years old. I don't know how he lived those first 28 years. But for the next 50 years, he was a mighty prophet of God, an evangelist. So, don't get discouraged if they are wayward in some of those early years. 1:05:56 Don't ever get give up. Love them, embrace them, and say, "We are standing with you." Our calling is to encourage them. And I believe that God will help us. And so, let's pray for one another. One 1:06:14 final thing I want to say, if you see somebody else's children going astray, please, please, please don't criticize them. Their parents are already suffering. Seeing their child go astray, why you want to add to their agony by 1:06:31 spreading tales about their son? Please, if you want to do something, pray for that son or daughter. But don't speak evil of them. Don't go around saying, "Huh, that brother's children, this brother's children, see how they are." 1:06:44 Pray for them and leave them alone. Their father sometimes may may not have been wise, okay? If you want, pray for them. If you don't have a burden, leave them alone, but don't spend your time criticizing them. No. If the elders discipline them, leave 1:07:01 that job to the elders. The elders will take care of that. But you're not an elder. You're just not a free person in the church. Don't spend your time criticizing them. And I'll tell you another thing. Don't criticize the elders to your children. I 1:07:14 guarantee your children will go astray. I can give you a written guarantee. Guaranteed way to send your children astray. Just spend your time criticizing the elders in your church. They will not become spiritual. Your children will never become spiritual if 1:07:30 you spend your time criticizing the elders. They may have an appearance of religion and you think that they are spiritual. They're not not one of them will be really spiritual. Because they heard you speak evil of the elders. They heard you speak evil of 1:07:44 some of the young people. And this, that, and the other. May God have mercy on us. If we control our tongues, there's a lot we can do. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, please help us 1:08:02 to build godly homes for your glory. There will be many such godly homes in this land. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
