0:19 So dear brothers and sisters from different parts of the world when we read the Bible we can read it with our mind and study it like a book of theology or 0:37 we can try to see the heart of God as we read. And that's what I've been trying to do more and more in the early days when I was first converted 60 years ago I read it studying it like a book but as I've grown older 0:57 and I've discovered that the Bible is being given to us so that we can look into God's heart. That's what will change your life. Otherwise you'll just get some doctrines and maybe find some comfort in times of trouble etc. 1:13 But if you can look into God's heart you will come into fellowship with this wonderful father in heaven who whose care for us is so intense that he was even willing to send his son to earth just so that he could have you 1:33 and me to be his children. The more I think about that very often it makes me weep. Father you love me so much and you followed after me in the days when I wandered away from you and brought me back to yourself. I never want to lose sight of the heart 1:49 of God. I want to invite all of you dear brothers and sisters to ask the Holy Spirit to show you the heart of your heavenly father to show you the heart of Jesus Christ. And our subject today is concerning the family. 2:08 We must manifest the Christ life first in our own home because we cannot give to others what does not work in our own home. I've used this example many times. If you have 2:27 a DVD player which is not working properly in your own home it doesn't fast forward, doesn't play properly, it scrapes would you give that as a gift to somebody you love? No. You wouldn't even give that as a gift to 2:45 a stranger. Would you give that as a gift at a wedding? Never. We would never give to someone something that is not working in our own home. Now my next question is 3:02 do you seek to give the gospel a gospel which has not worked in your own home to other people? A gospel that's failing in your own home. How can you give that as a gift to 3:19 somebody else? And a gospel is a millions and millions times more valuable than a DVD player. You wouldn't give a DVD player or some electronic gadget which is not working in your home. How much more we need to think in terms of giving the 3:39 gospel, a gospel that works in our own home. And if you were to look into the heart of God it's in the home where God wants to begin his work. First of all in our own heart and the next in our home and then in the church and then the world. 3:57 But it all begins with the individual and then in the home. So let me begin with the verse in Exodus in chapter 25 and verse 8. You're familiar with this. In the wilderness when Israel came out of Egypt and they came to the Mount Sinai, God 4:15 told them God told Moses "Tell my people to construct a sanctuary for me a holy building the purpose so that I can dwell among them." That was God's will. 4:35 He wants to dwell among us. And that is the purpose why he asked them to construct a sanctuary. Now take that verse and apply it to your own own home life. God wants to do the same thing. 4:56 He says, "I want my people Read it like this Exodus 25:8. Will you build a home a family husband, wife and children so that I the Lord can live in your home?" 5:14 Take that verse and say, "Lord, I want to build a home which where you can come and live." And if you go back to the beginning of the Bible, that's exactly how God, you know, planned it when he made Adam and Eve. But before I go there 5:33 I want to show you something in the New Testament. We speak much about the new covenant. There are things we experience in the new covenant which people could never experience in the old covenant. Let me give you two examples. 5:48 One is to be filled with the Holy Spirit. When it talks about Old Testament people being anointed or filled, it was always the Holy Spirit upon them. He never came inside them. The first time the Holy Spirit dwelt in a man on the earth 6:06 was when Jesus walked on this earth. Even John the Baptist had only the Holy Spirit upon him. John 7:37-39 indicates that that the Holy Spirit was not given to dwell within man, to come from his innermost being until Jesus was 6:23 glorified. Very clear. And then after the day of Pentecost we could all have the Holy Spirit within to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Now there's only one place in the whole Bible where we have a command 6:42 to be filled with the Holy Spirit. There are many references to it in the Acts of the Apostles but only one place where we have a command which says, "Be filled with the Holy Spirit." One of the most important commandments. 6:55 You must be filled. Only God can fill you but you have to make yourself available so he can fill you. And that is in Ephesians 5 and verse 18. Okay, that's not possible in the Old Testament, Old Covenant. The second thing that was not possible 7:13 in the Old Covenant was to resist the devil and make him flee from us. If you read the entire Old Testament, you never read one person confronting Satan. Satan appears in Genesis chapter 3 and overcomes Adam and Eve. 7:31 After that we don't see him except in a vision in Zechariah chapter 3 but otherwise actually we don't find any person, not even John the Baptist confronting Satan because they could not confront Satan in the Old Covenant. 7:46 He was too strong for them. He appears in the book of Job up in the heavens and God permits him to bring havoc into Job's property etc. and even in his family. The first person as I said who was filled with the Holy Spirit was Jesus 8:05 and the first person to confront Satan and defeat him was also Jesus. And he's the head of the church. And now God wants the church just like Jesus, that is the first body of Christ the church is the new body of Christ 8:23 must also be like Jesus filled with the Holy Spirit and confront Satan and drive him away like it says in James 4:7, "Submit to God, resist the devil, he will flee from you." So those are the two things distinctive among many other things. These are two 8:41 distinctive features of the New Covenant. And that resisting the devil is mentioned in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 10 to 12, "Stand against firm against the schemes of the devil and put on the full armor of God having 8:58 done everything that means having overcome everything." Ephesians 6:13, "Stand firm." So this is what I wanted to point out to you. If you turn to your turn with your Bible, you see two verses. Ephesians 5:18, "Be filled with the Holy 9:12 Spirit." A new covenant blessing. Ephesians 6:10-13, "Stand firm against the schemes of the devil and overcome him." And now I want you to notice something very interesting. Between these two very important statements 9:32 be filled with the Holy Spirit on one hand and stand against the devil and resist him. Do you know what is comes in between? Family life. Husbands, wives chapter 5:22 9:47 to 33. Children, parents chapter 6:1-4 servants and masters. Many homes have servants and masters chapter 6, verse 5 to 8. 5 to 9. So, why is this section on the family put between these two very important 10:04 verses? Because two things. One, you cannot live this family life without being filled with the Holy Spirit. That's why the only place I told you in the entire Bible where it says be filled with the Holy Spirit. 10:23 Be filled with the Holy Spirit and then it says, "Now wives, be subject to your husbands. Now husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church." How can you ever do that without being filled with the Holy Spirit? Fathers, bring up your children in this 10:36 wicked world in a godly way. How can you do that without the fullness of the Holy Spirit? So, be filled with the Spirit. Lot of people say, "You're filled with the Spirit, you'll speak in tongues." That is one of the gifts of the Spirit. But 10:49 here it says, "Be filled with the Holy Spirit and husbands and wives, this is how you should live together. Be Be filled with the Spirit and fathers and children, this is how you should bring up your children." Do you see that as a result of being 11:02 filled with the Holy Spirit? And secondly, why is this section on the warfare with the devil comes immediately after the section on the Christian home? Because there is absolutely nothing that the devil attacks as much as the 11:20 Christian home. Because he knows if he has succeeded in destroying the home, he's destroyed the church. Look at the number of pastors whose ministry have been ruined because their home was destroyed, their children became wayward, the pastor 11:37 falls into adultery, the pastor divorces his wife, marries somebody else. Don't you see that happening all over? This is the work of the devil. And there you see the Holy Spirit has put this section on the Christian home 11:55 just immediately after being filled with the Holy Spirit and immediately before the attack of Satan and resisting Satan. Now, if we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we can resist the devil in all the attacks he makes against the Christian home. 12:12 We can overcome. Wives can live in godly submission. Husbands can love their wives as Christ loved the church and pursue that goal even if it doesn't reach perfection on this earth. Fathers can bring up all their children 12:27 in a godly way. Possible. The devil may attack your children, but he will not succeed. Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Believe God's promise. That's why he's put the Christian home section right after being filled with the Holy Spirit 12:43 and telling you that you can resist the devil and it says in Ephesians 6:13, "Having overcome everything, you can stand." Husbands and wives can stand and say, "We've overcome the devil in our home." Fathers and children can stand 12:58 and say, "We've overcome the devil in our home." That is our goal, dear brothers and sisters, and I trust that as you listen to the word today, you will understand a little more of what that means. So, I want you to turn with me now to 13:14 Genesis in chapter 1 and chapter 2 where the Christian home begins. So, you know, once when the Pharisees came to Jesus and said, "Is divorce permitted?" That's in Matthew 19. I don't want to take time going there now. Look at it 13:34 sometime. Why did Moses command divorce? And Jesus said, "Moses never commanded divorce. He permitted divorce." Very easy to twist scripture. The Pharisees twisted it. If they didn't like their wives, they'd just say Moses 13:53 commanded it. Moses never commanded it. Even today, divorce is not commanded. So, you know, because some people say, "Oh, Jesus permitted in case of adultery, you can divorce your wife." No. He did not command it. You can forgive your wife even if she 14:11 divorces, your husband even if he divorces. That is the higher way. But if you're a weak believer, permit it. So, I'm just showing you how people twist scripture. But Jesus said when they asked him that question, "How was it in the beginning?" he said. 14:29 In the beginning, God did not make two women and ask Adam to choose only one. So, the solution to the question the Pharisees asked was always go back to the beginning. In everything, go back to the beginning and you'll understand God's plan. You'll 14:46 see God's heart. So, when you think of the home, the Christian home, go back to the beginning and you'll see what God's plan was for marriage. That's subsequent to that sin has spoiled so many things. Go back to the beginning. 15:01 And in the beginning, let me first show you something very interesting. For 5 days, it says God did different things recreating, that's remaking that fallen earth which is corrupt. And each day, at the end of the day, he 15:20 said it is good. Five times he said it was good. It was good. Except for the second day, all the other days he said it was good. It was good. It was good. And I think the second day he didn't say it because that was the day when the 15:38 heavens were separated and the devil was up there in the second heaven. Cast out of the third heaven. But other days it says it was good. Good. Good. Good. Good. And then on the sixth day, you know what God says? It is not good. 15:56 Have you noticed that? Five days or five times because one day he said it twice. Five times it is good. It is good. It is good. It is good. And then suddenly on the sixth day, he says, "It is not good." Have you noticed that? 16:11 It says here in Genesis 2:18, after making Adam, he said, "It is not good for this man to be alone." After saying it was good five times. And so he made Eve 16:30 and he brought Eve to Adam and united them. That is the first marriage God conducted. And then he says in Genesis 1:31, "It was very good." Do you see that development? Five times not good. Not good. Not good. 16:48 Not Sorry. Sorry. Five times good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Then not good. And once a married couple comes on the scene, very good. That's how it should be in your marriage. That even if it was not good, it becomes very 17:07 good. Even if things were good before you were married, it should become very good after your marriage. Now, let's search our own hearts. Is that true in your experience? I've been married for 52 years and my wife and I have been very happily 17:24 married. And I can honestly say it's very good. It was good when I was single. It's very good after marriage. We're not perfect. We were not perfect when we got married. We're not perfect even today. We are pressing on to 17:40 perfection. We haven't become like Jesus completely, but we're on the way. And but one thing, it's very good. So, I want all of you to aim for that. Don't ever say it won't be good in my marriage. Say it's going to be very good. 17:59 It's going to go very well with my children. Speak the word of faith. That's what Jesus said. Go back to the beginning, he told the Pharisees. You're talking about divorce. That is something God permitted because of sin. Go back to 18:12 the beginning. He never permitted divorce for Adam and Eve. And the same way, whatever condition you may see Christian families in today or even the families of preachers and pastors, God says, "Go back to the beginning. How was it then?" 18:25 He made a not good situation into very good. So, if you feel that your home is like in a not good situation, Genesis 2:18, not good for whatever reason. There it is one reason. In your case, it may be another reason. God can turn it into very good. 18:43 Let's begin with that faith. See, if you don't have faith when you come to the Lord, if you think God is a helpless person, your problem is too big and he can never help you. God cannot do anything for you. You're tying the hands of God. 18:59 You know, one of the saddest verses that are found in the Gospels is the verse in Matthew chapter 13 where it says, "Jesus could not do many mighty works there." Not because he didn't want to. But it says there because of their 19:15 unbelief. Matthew 13 and it's the last verse I think there. Yes, Matthew 13 and verse 58. The last verse. He did not do many miracles there not because he didn't want to. In Mark chapter 6, he could not do it, it says. 19:33 Because of their unbelief. I want to ask you. Some of you may be having difficulties in your married life. Will it be written about you that God wanted you to have a very good marriage, but he could not do it because you would 19:53 not believe. Not because he could not, but because you would not believe. Or because you said, "Oh, our situation is so wretched." Which situation is so wretched that God cannot solve it? One of the lessons I learned 20:09 from the miracles that Jesus did, I never find him facing a situation where he tells people, "I don't know what to do." Do you ever find Jesus saying that? Are 5,000 men and many women and children hungry without food? 20:27 The Lord has a solution for that. Is the storm about to sink the boat in the lake of Galilee? He has a solution for that. Has the wine run out at a wedding in Cana? He has a solution for that. Has Lazarus died? 20:46 He has a solution for that. What do you learn from all the miracles that Jesus did? I learned one lesson. Nothing is impossible with God. No problem is too great for God to handle. That's the message I get from 21:06 all the miracles that Jesus did. Nobody ever came to him with a problem where Jesus had to scratch his head and say, "I don't know what to do about that." Never. Every single problem people came to him with, he had a solution. 21:23 Whether it was a woman caught in adultery or a five times divorced Samaritan woman whom nobody cared for, whom people hated perhaps, Jesus redeemed her. He could solve any problem. 21:40 And what problem is there today in the 20 21st century that Jesus cannot solve? Nothing. Have faith. Once when a man brought his son to Jesus and said, "I brought him to your disciples, they couldn't help him. If you can do anything, please help us." 21:59 And Jesus said, "Don't say if I can do if you." He put the if back on him. That man came to Jesus and said, "If you can help us." And Jesus put that if back on him and said, "If you can believe, all things are possible." 22:15 And his son was delivered. But he didn't have that power, he didn't have much faith. And he said, "Oh, Lord, I don't have much faith. Please help my unbelief." Even that is good enough to come to the Lord and say, "Lord, I don't 22:26 have much faith, but I have a little bit. Help my unbelief." You can experience a miracle. And boy, we live in a day when there is a tremendous need for miracles in our homes. In husband-wife relationships, parent-children relationships. 22:43 So, what do we see here? This was God's purpose that they should be joined together. And there was a plan God had when he said that um it's not good for man to be alone, Genesis 2:18. I will make him a helper. I want you to see something powerful in 22:59 these words. Don't skip over these words very quickly. What did the Lord say? I want to make Adam a helper. What is the wife supposed to be to her husband? A helper. Not a slave. 23:16 Don't treat your wife like a slave who's just got to obey your orders. Don't expect to be a king lording it over slaves. That's not the way a wife is to be. A wife is to be a helper. 23:35 At the same time, a wife is not to be the lord over the husband. God didn't say, "Let me make a lord for Adam. Let me make a helper." And like someone has said, God took a a rib from Adam's side. He did not take a bone from Adam's head 23:55 for for the woman to rule over the man. He did not take a a bone from Adam's feet for the man to rule over the woman. But he took a rib from Adam's side. And it must have been the left side, near his heart, so that the man would keep his wife always near 24:14 his heart, close to him, recognize that she's one with him. Let me make a helper. And those of you who know the Bible, do you find anyone else in the New Testament who's called a helper? You remember in John 14 24:32 when Jesus said just before he went up to heaven at the Last Supper, he said, "If you love me, John 14:15, you'll keep my commandments." But what high standard those commandments in the Sermon on the Mount were. And he was saying, "I know it's 24:48 difficult to keep those commandments, but John 14:16, I will ask the Father and he will give you another helper." The King James Version says comforter. The NASB says helper. He's called a help The Holy Spirit is called a helper. 25:06 Jesus gave that name to the Holy Spirit. Interesting that God gave that name to Eve. A wife is supposed to be to her husband a helper like the Holy Spirit is to us. Now, see how the Holy Spirit helps us. 25:26 The Holy Spirit helps us in a very hidden way. He doesn't publicly show himself. We don't see the Holy Spirit. But he's behind the scenes always helping us. I believe he's helping me right now when I speak. I wouldn't dare to speak without 25:41 the help of the Holy Spirit. I always Whenever I go to speak, I say, "Lord, I'm like a branch in a tree. If the sap does not flow from the tree to the branch, there'll be no fruit. So, I'm dependent on the Holy Spirit. But you don't see the Holy Spirit. He's 25:56 a hidden helper. But without his help, I can't do the job. And a husband must recognize that without his wife as a hidden helper, he can't do the job either. And the wife must also recognize that I don't need prominence. The Holy Spirit 26:13 doesn't seek prominence. Why the wife should say, "Why should I seek prominence when the Holy Spirit doesn't seek prominence? I want to be a hidden helper to my husband just like the Holy Spirit is a hidden helper to man." 26:26 Yeah, it's wonderful to compare scripture with scripture. The other beautiful thing I see here is that God placed God had prepared everything for Adam and Eve before he created them, united them. It's wonderful to recognize that you 26:42 must believe that if God united you in marriage, and if you're married, there are many wonderful things God has prepared for you. You must have that faith. I'm not talking about a lot of money and wealth and it's not like that. When my wife and I 26:58 got married, we were so poor, very, very poor for the first few years of our married life. We didn't even have money to rent a building to live in. We were very poor. I'd given up all my earnings from what I'd earned in the 27:12 Navy for God's work. And we were trusting the Lord for our needs. But God took care of us. We were poor, but we were happy. God provides everything. And what we see here in the case of Adam and Eve was 27:29 he provided them a beautiful garden. And I think there was a message in that. That Garden of Eden must have been the most beautiful garden this world has ever seen. Flowers and trees and the animals were all kind and good, no wild animals, and 27:45 such a beautiful surrounding. A beautiful garden. And it As it were, the Lord was saying to Adam and Eve, "Adam, Eve, I want your marriage to be like this garden. I want your relationship with each other to be like this beautiful garden 28:04 where people can come and smell the beautiful scent of the flowers and see the beautiful fruit and they can partake of the fruit." What a wonderful thing it is if a marriage can be like that. That is God's original plan for marriage. Your 28:19 marriage must be like a garden that other people can come and enjoy the scent and the scenery, and spiritually speaking, and the fruit from your life. That is God's purpose. But 28:37 instead of becoming a garden, because they disobeyed God, it became a wilderness. The relationship between Adam and Eve became a wilderness. It started with a simple disobedience to God. 28:55 God had told them, "Don't eat from that one tree." When there were 100,000 trees there, was it so difficult to avoid one tree? But the devil took them to that tree. The devil will always seek to lead you to something 29:14 that will destroy your relationship with God and destroy your relationship with your marriage partner. Remember that. There may be 10,000 things you can do. But those things may be good things. The The devil will lead you to the one thing 29:32 which will cause a problem. Think of all the good things husbands and wives do for each other. But the devil will remind you of the one thing that your wife did not do. Or your husband did not do and make you concentrate on that so that he can bring 29:48 a distance between you and your partner. That's how the devil is learning from the Garden of Eden. He's looking for the one thing that will lead you away from each other. And that's what happened. Eve was foolish. 30:08 She obeyed the devil and was immediately separated from God. And then she gave the fruit to her husband. Now, you know, I was when I first read Genesis 3 I thought Adam was wandering somewhere 30:27 else in the garden until I read Genesis chapter 3 verse 6 and saw that Adam was standing right next to her. They were both standing together facing this forbidden tree. And when the devil spoke to Eve 30:45 Adam was listening. Why was he dumb? Why didn't he tell his wife, "Hey, we shouldn't be listening to this. Let's get away from here. We don't want to listen to this serpent." Why didn't he take his place as the head of the home? 31:04 And that's what I often ask, "Why doesn't a husband take the place as a head of the home when he sees something coming into his home through his wife or his children which he knows is dishonoring to God?" Why doesn't he take a stand against some 31:21 filthy movie which is being watched on the television or some a book which is unfit for a Christian to read or a magazine that is unfit for a Christian to have in his home. Why does he allow it to come in? Why does he stand like Adam, quiet? 31:39 Adam was made to be the head of the home. He failed. And many husbands have failed in exactly the same way. Job is said to be the the most perfect man on earth in his time. God said 31:59 there was nobody like him on earth. He told the devil that. And his wife was not so spiritually minded like he was. Job accepted all the tragedy that came in the beginning, but his wife could not and we read in Genesis chapter Sorry, 32:16 Job chapter 2 the wife came to Job and said, "Why don't you curse God and die?" Or in other words, "Why don't you curse God and commit suicide?" And Job said, "You're speaking like a foolish woman." 32:35 He took a stand as the head of the home and said, "That's a foolish thing to say." Would you say that if someone in your home suggested something which is contrary to God's will? Say it in a loving way. "Darling, that's not a good thing to 32:53 say. We don't want to disobey God here." That's what Adam should have said. "Eve, we shouldn't be listening to the Let's move away." What a different story it would have been. He did not take his place as the head of the family. 33:10 You see that right at the beginning. All the chaos in the world came because of that if he had stopped her there. And from Eve's point also we can see a failure. When the devil came talking to her, all she had to say was 33:26 "Hey, listen. God's given me a head. He's right standing right next to me. Let me just consult him and then I'll get back to you." Story might have been different. Do you take decisions on your own without consulting each other? 33:44 No wonder the devil gets a headway. It could be husband not consulting the wife or the wife not consulting the husband. Because she's to be your helper. You know, I see that God is may in an ideal marriage or in a in many 34:02 marriages God make the husband and wife have different viewpoints which is a good thing. And I'll tell you why it's a good thing. If a husband is standing on the north side of a house and takes a picture of the house from 34:15 the north side and the wife is standing on the south side of the same house and takes a picture of the house from the south side then the pictures look completely different. Because the front of the house looks very different from the back of the 34:31 house. But to get a full picture of the house you put both pictures together. That's the advantage of husband and wife having different viewpoints not to have conflict with each other. No. One is a helper and so when the husband 34:45 says, "Hey, let me see the picture you took of the house." And says, "Hey, this is completely different from mine, but it's the backside so I get a full picture of the house." And so it is. God makes us different from one another so that we can help one 34:59 another. So that's one of the important things that we need to see here. What do we need to do in a marriage to make a garden into a wilderness? If you're If your house is If your marriage is supposed to be like a garden. 35:19 Shall I tell you how to make it into a wilderness? Turn with me to Proverbs chapter 24. Proverbs and chapter 24 and verse 30. Proverbs 24:30 says, "I passed by the 35:40 field of the lazy person A lazy person is a person who does nothing. And by the vineyard of the man without common sense. And it was completely like a wilderness overgrown with thistles, covered with 35:58 nettles, the stone wall was broken down and I looked at it he says, "And I reflected on it and I received instruction." What did that man do to make his garden into a wilderness? In one word, nothing. 36:17 He just slept. It says, "A little sleep, a little slumber and spiritual poverty will come to you in no time." So what do you need to do to make a garden a beautiful garden into a wilderness? Nothing. You don't have to do anything. You don't 36:37 have to go sowing weeds and thistles. If you don't believe me, look at any garden which is beautiful, leave it alone for 2 or 3 years it will become a wilderness. Because the tendency in nature is towards the wilderness. 36:52 But if you leave a wilderness alone it won't become a garden. If you see go by somebody's house and you see a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers and beautiful fruit trees, you can be pretty sure that that man worked hard 37:05 day and night that that couple worked hard in night hard day and night to make that garden. And if you see a beautiful marriage anywhere like a garden you can be pretty sure that that couple worked hard to produce that beautiful marriage. And if you see 37:22 a family with beautiful children growing up, you can be pretty sure that that father and mother worked hard to bring up those beautiful children. Otherwise, their fam home would have been like a wilderness. So that's the first lesson we need to 37:36 learn. You don't have to do anything to make your home in a wilderness. Just neglect it. Just neglect fellowship with each other. Don't take time with each other. Don't pray together. Don't read the word of God. Just do nothing. Your home will 37:49 become a wilderness. If you want a good garden, learn a lesson from all the gardens you have seen anywhere in the world. It is always the result of a lot of hard work that people have put in. And that's how a beautiful beautiful 38:06 family also is built. The second thing I want to say how you can make a garden into a wilderness is in Genesis 3 itself. In Genesis 3 once their fellowship with God had been broken what is the next thing that happens? 38:26 When God comes and asks Adam "Uh, what happened? Did you eat from the tree?" He immediately points his finger at his wife and says, "Lord, it's not me. She's the guilty one. She's the source of all the problem. 38:43 She's the cause of all the problem." And God says, "Eve, what did you do?" She also has got the same She came from Adam so she's got the same habit. "It's not me. It's that serpent." See, this habit of 38:59 blaming others, blaming each other started in the Garden of Eden. It's very difficult for a person to acknowledge his own failure. Adam See, Eve did not shove the fruit down Adam's mouth. Adam could have said 39:18 "I'm sorry, Lord. I was tempted and I ate it." So what if your wife gave it to you? That's not the point. You opened your mouth, Adam, and you ate it. Take the blame. Don't blame your wife. It's true that the wife gave it and so 39:34 so very often you find in husband-wife relationships some tension comes and immediately this spirit point of this pointing finger of Adam comes up. And this spirit of accusation she did it. He you did this. Or you did this. You know how husbands and wives 39:53 can sometimes talk about things that happened 15 years ago. You remember 15 years ago you did this or you remember 20 years ago you did this. You remember before our marriage you did this. You can make your garden into a 40:07 wilderness. You got to get rid of that pointing finger. That's how that garden became a wilderness in the Garden of Eden. Let me show you a beautiful verse about this in Isaiah chapter 58. 40:25 In Isaiah 58 the Lord says here he tells us here how he can make your life Isaiah 58:11 in the middle it says you will be like a watered garden. It's a promise. Isaiah 58:11 40:44 and like a spring of water that where the waters keep coming up all the time. A beautiful garden, your marriage can be like a beautiful garden with a spring of water always refreshing it day and night. Claim that promise in Isaiah 58:11. 40:59 But among other conditions here is one condition. When you call upon me, the Lord says, saying Lord give me this garden Isaiah 58 verse 9, this is the condition. And you you will cry and the Lord says, 41:16 I will say here I am. I will answer you if you stop pointing the finger at each other. See what the Lord says? I will answer you when you stop pointing the finger at each other Isaiah 58 verse 9 and then I will make your life like a 41:34 watered garden. Can you at least from today onwards my dear brothers and sisters stop this habit which began with our forefather Adam of pointing the finger at each other? Your marriage can be like a beautiful 41:51 garden but the choice is up to you. And then you can say, well, let my partner start. Really? Who's going to be the leader here now? Who's going to be more Christ-like? I often ask this question. When a husband and wife have a conflict 42:11 attention and that can happen in any marriage particularly in the early years. And if it's not resolved in the early years it can go on even after they are marriage married for 20 30 years. But when a husband and wife have a conflict or a 42:23 tension or a misunderstanding who should take the first step in restoring that fellowship? Husband or the wife? In heathen cultures the rule is always the wife must humble 42:42 herself and ask forgiveness. Because the husband is the king. He's the lord. But what about a Christian? When a Christian husband and wife have a tension or a conflict or a misunderstanding who should take the first step? We take 43:01 our example from God. Not from heathen culture. So let's ask this question and get an answer to this. When God and man had a conflict due to sin who took the first step to restore that relationship? 43:20 You know the answer. It was God who sent his son. No man invited him to send his son. God took that first step and it was such a big step of humbling himself down to the dust in order to relate 43:39 restore that relationship. Let me say that again. When God and man had a tension and though the fault was 100% man's and zero God's yet God took that first step to the extreme point of humbling himself to the dust 43:57 in order to restore that relationship. Why did God take the first step? Because he was more spiritual than man. So in a husband and wife conflict who should take the first step? The one 44:15 who is more spiritual. Not the one who is wrong. If God had said to man, well, he made a mistake let him take the first step, there would have been no restoration of relationship. But the nature of God is so eager to fellowship with man 44:33 that he didn't may say that is his fault so let him take the first step. No. That's the language of fallen man. The language of a loving God is let me take that first step. Let me humble myself. Think how different many of our 44:48 marriages would be if we followed the example of God instead of the example of the devil who's called the accuser of the brethren. See Satan, the Bible says in Revelation 12 that Satan is waiting to accuse God's children every day. 45:04 It says day and night he's accusing God's children. In other words, he's waiting. He's looking. God has agents, millions of demons all over the world looking to find some mistake that some believer does and immediately says, God 45:19 see that guy there? He claims to be your child. See how he's speaking? See what he's doing? Look at him watching pornography there when nobody's watching him and he claims to be a born again child of God. God, are you seeing that? 45:31 He's the accuser. He's the accuser of the brethren. My dear brother, sister, husband and wife don't join hands with the devil and accuse your marriage partner. Finish with it today. Tell the devil, Satan, I'm never going 45:46 to hold your hand again to accuse my marriage partner. I'll never do it. I was ignorant and foolish all these years but I'm not going to do it anymore. Christ has come into my life and I'm going to manifest the life of Christ in me. 46:03 Christ did not have pointed pointing fingers at anybody. On the cross his arms were stretched out and his hands were nailed to the cross. He had no finger that he could point at anybody. He stretched out his hands and not to as 46:18 it were to say, I want you to bring you both together. That's the difference between the spirit of Christ and the spirit of Satan which is the same spirit that Adam and Eve had. So that's how a garden becomes a wilderness and that's how we can 46:32 eliminate that. I want to show you another verse for husbands and wives in 1 Peter chapter 3. These are wonderful verses about husband wife relationships in scripture. You know, one interesting thing in the Old Covenant 46:52 the husband wife relationship and parent child relationship was not important. Job didn't have a good relationship with his wife because his wife was not a spiritual person at all. The only thing we read about Moses was 47:07 having conflict with his wife. And Samuel his children were wayward. Just like Eli's children wayward, Samuel's children were wayward. David had many wives. His children were wayward. Some murdered each other. We don't have a good family 47:26 picture in the Old Testament. Even that very good family of Noah we find his son goes and exposes his nakedness. Oh, in the Old Testament family relationship is not important. The great men of God did not have a great family. 47:44 Moses, Samuel even Noah he had Noah had to curse Ham's descendants. His own son's descendants. But when it comes to the New Covenant the Lord says in 1 Timothy 3, a man 48:01 cannot be an elder unless he's the husband of one wife, has got a good family has brought up his children in a good way. It's so important. Now, if those were the qualifications in the Old Testament Moses and David could not have been 48:19 leaders. Couldn't Samuel could not have been a leader because their children were all wayward. And yet some of the greatest men, Moses, David, Samuel they were great leaders. But in the New Covenant, for example, if Samuel or Moses or David were living 48:37 today I would never dream of making him an elder in one of our churches. Impossible. I see your children are all wayward. How can you be a elder in our church? But in the New Covenant this is a very important requirement. It was not 48:52 required in the Old Covenant. Very important to see. Husband wife relationship is very important. So let me turn you to 1 Peter chapter 3. Here talks about a wife whose husband is not converted. Or even if he's converted, he's 49:11 disobedient to the word of God. Do any of you wives have a husband who is unconverted or disobedient to God's word even though he claims to be a Christian, he's a hypocrite? Okay? Here's a verse exactly for you, sister. 49:26 1 Peter 3 you wives be submissive to your own husbands even to those who are disobedient to the word, what is the purpose? So that you can win them for the Lord without one word 49:44 by your behavior. You see the picture here? A husband who's disobedient to the word of God is like a man who's been captured by the devil. Anyone who's disobedient to the word of God is in the hands of the devil. 50:03 So here is a husband who's in the hands of the devil. And the devil's a very strong person. A husband disobedient to the word, that's written in verse three. And who's the one who delivers this husband from this lion called Satan? 50:22 A meek submissive woman. Amazing. Because it says he can she can win her husband. That means deliver her. Sorry, deliver him from the clutches of Satan. This meek, submissive, helpless woman can 50:41 deliver her husband from the clutches of the lion Satan by her conduct. Without speaking one word. Without preaching. Amazing way of bringing people to Christ. Take that as a promise, sister. 51:00 Don't keep blaming your husband. You say, "Lord, I want 1 Peter 3:1 to be fulfilled in my life. I confront the devil not with the might of the world, but with the spirit of submission that Jesus had to the heavenly Father. 51:16 And I'm going to bring my husband to Christ." All right. There's a word for husbands also here. Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe your wife is not very spiritual like Job's wife. God has a word for everyone. 51:33 1 Peter 3:7, "You husbands, in the same way." That means in the same spirit. "Live with your wives in an understanding way as someone who is weaker." 51:50 What should a spiritually minded husband know about his wife? One thing primarily. She is a weaker vessel. She's not as strong as me. Well, physically we know that the man is usually stronger than the woman. 52:09 But here it says more than that, she's a weaker vessel. That's why she easily cries and men don't cry so easily. Don't look down on her. Understand that she's a weaker vessel. If you despise your wife because she's weaker, 52:26 well, you're not going to win her. You're not going to build a godly home. No, it says here that if you don't recognize that she's a weaker vessel and you don't recognize that God has made you a equal heir of the grace of 52:41 life. Read 1 Peter 3:7. God has made husband and wife to sit on equal level thrones. Joint heir. Joint heir means your throne as king and queen of the house are at the same level. The wife's throne is not 1 ft below the husband's. No. 52:59 Joint heir means both thrones are at the same level. The king and the queen are in the same level. Recognize that. Recognize your wife as the queen of the house equal to you as the king of the house. And also recognize 53:17 that she's a weaker vessel. If you do if you don't do that, it says here your prayers will not be heard by God. The prayers of many Christian men, born again men, 53:35 are not heard by God because of one reason among others. He does not treat his wife as an equal heir. He does not recognize all the time that she is weaker to me, weaker than me. Prayers are not heard. 53:56 Do you want your prayers to be heard? Treat your wife as your equal. And always recognize that she's a weaker vessel. It's a wonderful thing to be united like this. Let me show you a a promise in Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes is a book 54:14 which many Christians don't read. But there's some amazing verses in it. Let me show you one of them. It's in Ecclesiastes chapter four. And it says here in verse 10 to 12, three things that a husband 54:31 and wife can do when they are together. First of all, Ecclesiastes 4:10, "If one falls, the other can lift him up." It's a wonderful thing when you're fighting against the devil, we can help one another. If two are If there are two, two are better than one, 54:47 it says. Secondly, they can keep each other on fire for the Lord. They can keep each other warm spiritually. Verse 11. And number 12, uh sorry, verse 12, if the devil comes against them, two can resist him. And this two, it says in verse 12, will 55:07 become free. How does two become free? Jesus comes in the middle. That's an amazing verse, and that is what God can do for you, dear brothers and sisters in in your home. Now, I want to move on to say a few words about 55:27 children, parents and children. It's primarily the father's responsibility to bring up the children in the ways of the Lord. That's very clear. It says in Ephesians in chapter six. He talks about children and parents. 55:46 "Children, obey your parents, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with the promise." Ephesians 6:3, "that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth." So I 55:58 have a question to all parents. Do you want it good to go well with your children? Verse three, Ephesians 6:3. Secondly, do you want them to live long on the earth? I'm sure you'll answer yes to both questions. 56:16 Then here is what you should do. Teach your children, verse two, to honor their father and mother. She'll teach them, verse one, to obey their parents. Don't ever take disobedience lightly. 56:34 Even from a 2-year-old. I believe children can understand the meaning of the word no even when they are 1-year-old. They can understand when they're 1-year-old. And they recognize they may not know in 56:55 any language, but when you are going to do something and you say no, the tone of your voice and the word no, they understand it. And you know what they'll do? I've seen this happen with my grandchildren when they're 1-year-old. 57:13 Next time they go near that forbidden thing, they'll look around to see if you're watching. That's how we know they got the message, "I'm not supposed to touch this." That's how I learned that even a 1-year-old can understand the word no. 57:32 Teach them obedience before you teach them anything else. Teach them to respect parents and to respect all older people. It's one of the very sad things we see in developed countries nowadays. They 57:49 call it developed, developed materially, but very often backwards spiritually. Young people have no respect for older people. In the olden days they used to call them sir or uncle. Now they used to call them hi and they call them by their first 58:06 names with no respect. It's not just that, their whole attitude is one of disrespect. It's an indication of a world that's drifted away from God. Children who were never taught by their parents to respect older people. I pray it'll never be true of any of 58:23 your children. It'll go well with them if you teach them to respect parents and older children. Sorry, and older people. The other very important thing that you need to teach your children is never to tell a lie. These are the two things I was very 58:41 strict with my own four sons. To obey and respect parents. And if ever they spoke disrespectfully, to immediately stop everything, go and ask forgiveness from the person you spoke disrespectfully to, then continue your work. Immediate apology. 58:59 Yes, I demanded it. And I would never tolerate that telling a lie. All children tell lies. It says in Psalm 58, "From the birth onwards they tell lies." So that's part of their nature. They've got it from Adam. And we have to teach them to finish with 59:18 that habit, to speak the truth. So those are the two most important things we must teach them. And I want to show you a a verse in Malachi. It's the last book of the Old Testament and the last two verses 59:36 of the Old Testament. The last two verses of the Old Testament deal with father-son relationship. And it says here that I'm going to send Elijah before the great and terrible day of the Lord. He's speaking about the second coming of Christ. 59:53 And the prophet Elijah spoken of here is the body of Christ, the one man, the new man, Christ, the church. It's called body of Christ represented here by Elijah the prophet. And what is this last days Elijah the prophet or the last days body of Christ, 1:00:09 the church, going to proclaim and teach? That the hearts verse Malachi 4:6, the last verse of the Old Testament. The hearts of the fathers must be restored to the children. And then the hearts of the children will be restored to the fathers, otherwise God 1:00:26 will come and smite with a curse. You see how important it is in the last days? He's speaking about just before verse five, the great and terrible day of the Lord with before the final day of judgment. It's the calling of fathers 1:00:43 to be friends with their children and to restore and to restore that relationship. If there's a strain between you and your children for any reason, fathers must take the first step to restore that. It says here, fathers 1:01:03 must take the initiative and then the children to the fathers. So, to be to discipline our children is a very wise thing. Bible says in Hebrews in chapter 12, 1:01:21 turn with me for a moment here. We know that God is the most perfect father in the universe. And it says here that God punishes us sometimes, it is a discipline. I've experienced the discipline of God 1:01:38 many times in my life. In all the 60 years I've been a believer, whenever I've slipped up somewhere, sometimes just for speaking one rude word or one angry word somewhere, the Lord's disciplined me. Saying, "I want you to be perfect 1:01:58 in your speech." Why does God do that? There are times when I've been lying in bed with a fever and I said, "Lord, why this fever? Why you What are you trying to teach me? Are you disciplining me for something? Help me to know." 1:02:15 And the Lord will point out something that happened the previous week. Very small little thing, some rude word I spoke somewhere. And I have to go and apologize. I want to set it right and I say, "Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord 1:02:32 for alerting me so that I can become a little more Christ-like. And if I needed to get a fever to learn that, I'm all for it." And it says here in Hebrews 12, verse seven, "It is for discipline that you endure. And when God disciplines 1:02:48 you, he's dealing with you as with sons. For which son is there whom his father does not discipline?" Look at the question. "Which son is there whom his father does not discipline?" Unfortunately, we have to say today 1:03:07 there are many children whom the parents don't discipline. Now, is the father supposed to do it? But what if the father does not do it? He's too lazy or he's not spiritually minded. Then the mother has to do it. 1:03:26 It's usually the father who goes to work and earns the living for the family. But what if the father is paralyzed and lying at home? Then the mother has to do what the father normally does in other homes. So, if the father fails to discipline 1:03:40 the child, the father fails to teach God's word to the children, the mother must do it. So, it says here, "When our earthly fathers verse nine, earthly fathers disciplined us and we respected them." So, the Bible teaches that fathers must 1:04:01 discipline their children. And there are various ways in which we have we can discipline. If it is very serious and they are little small, we may need to give them a a tap with the rod or something. But there are other ways of disciplining 1:04:16 them by not allowing them them to go and play games that day or asking them to sit down and do some type of work when they enduring their playtime, disciplining them in some way. There are many various ways. It doesn't 1:04:35 always have to be with a spanking always. It could be withholding certain privileges from them. There are ways of disciplining to show them that we are displeased with their disobedience or their disrespect. It's very important. 1:04:53 And fathers also, it says in Ephesians 6, must not only discipline them, but there are two things. Fathers, Ephesians 6, "Bring up your children in discipline and instruction of the Lord." That's the second thing fathers have to 1:05:09 do, to teach the word of God to their children. From early age, to take a picture story Bible and read the read it with the children. And tell them the stories of the Bible and the lessons we can learn, spiritual lessons. 1:05:27 That should be our goal for all of our children. It's what I did with my own sons before they all left home the age of 17 or 18 to go to college. I wanted them to know the Bible. I wanted them to be born again 1:05:44 and I wanted them to be baptized. And they all were. Born again, baptized, and really knew quite a bit of the scriptures. The principles of scripture, not just the stories in the Bible. But that will only come if you work with 1:06:01 them. And work with them from the time they are one. Pray with them. You got to pray for your child even when it's in the mother's womb. Start praying and pray regularly. And we must never stop praying for our children. 1:06:19 We pray, I mean, our children are all married and we pray for them even now. We pray for our grandchildren now. Very important. Prayer accomplishes many things. Pray for them when they're sick. Even if your children are sick, father 1:06:33 or mother, lay your hands on that child and in Jesus' name you said, "Lord, you said they shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. Here I'm laying hand on laying hands on my child. Heal this child of this fever or whatever it is." 1:06:47 And it's a wonderful thing for children there to learn faith as they see father and mother praying for them, teaching them the scriptures, praying for them. In this evil world is very, very important to teach our children 1:07:00 scriptural truths, godly values, and how to relate to one another, how to avoid conflict, how to learn to forgive one another. Forgiveness is one of the most important things that we must learn in every family. And let 1:07:19 me conclude with that. One of the most important things we must teach and learn in our family, husbands and wives, forgive one another. And don't remind each other of the failures of the past. Teach our children 1:07:38 to forgive each other. And teach them the importance of that. The Bible says in Matthew 5:16, "If you do not forgive each other their faults, you don't forgive others their faults, your heavenly father will not forgive 1:07:57 you your sin." I want to be forgiven. And there are two conditions for my sin to be forgiven. One, I must first forgive other people. Then, 1 John 1:9, I must confess my sin to God 1:08:17 and he will forgive me. The blood of Jesus will cleanse me. But if I go to the Lord and ask him to cleanse me with his blood and there's somebody with whom I've had a conflict, the Lord says, "Leave your offering there. Stop praying. 1:08:30 Go and settle matters with that person and then come and offer your offering." You read that in Matthew 5, verse 23, 24. So, many people say, "When you sin, just confess your sin to the Lord, he'll forgive you." Yes, that's number two. But before that, 1:08:47 number one, if you haven't forgiven somebody, you cannot go to God and ask him to forgive you. You have number one is go and ask forgiveness from the all the people you've hurt. Call them up, write a letter, do something. Forgive everyone. Ask 1:09:02 everyone's forgiveness and forgive them. If you've hurt them, ask their forgiveness. If you've got If somebody's hurt you, forgive them. Then go to the Lord. The blood of Jesus will cleanse you from all sin. My dear brothers and sisters, 1:09:17 to build a Christian family in this ungodly generation is a wonderful privilege. You are supposed to be a light for God in your country in this generation. May God help each of you to be so. Let us pray. Heavenly Father, 1:09:44 we think of so many families represented here and you're listening many parts of the world. And I see something of the longing of your heart, heavenly Father, that in all these homes in different parts of the world, there should be a light 1:10:03 shining for you in the midst of the darkness of this evil age. I pray that many will be gripped today to be a light for you in their own home first and then to share that light with others around them. We pray in Jesus' name. 1:10:22 Amen. As often it's so refreshing to hear those words and uh what we will do now, I have a few questions uh prepared from the lesson that you spoke and maybe we can take um 2 3 minutes, Brother Zac, if you can answer um we'll see we'll probably spend 1:10:39 uh maybe 10 15 minutes um all together. Okay, so um you ready, Brother Zac? Yes. Okay. So, the first point you mentioned today was um about the working or the hard work, right? In the marriage in order to become a garden, you have to work hard, 1:10:56 right? The moment you hear work hard, right? I think especially in America we hear immediately people think I can't work. Like you know, they quote that verse, right? Um our good works are like filthy rags. Can you give us some 1:11:10 practical examples of what do you mean by work hard um within the marriage? Well, I believe Jesus was the most hard-working man that ever walked on this earth. He worked hard as a little boy going to the well to draw water for his 1:11:31 mother and uh worked hard as a carpenter, I'm sure helping Joseph. And after Joseph died, earning money for the whole family. He had four younger brothers and two sisters. And that is our example. And then as a full-time 1:11:51 worker, Christian work, full-time worker for the Father, there were times when it says there was they didn't have time even to sit down and eat. He was a very hard-working person. I don't see any laziness in Jesus. So, that is our great example and we 1:12:07 must never be afraid of it. In fact, one of the things that the Lord told Adam was by the sweat of your brow you will earn your bread. And that law has never changed. It's by hard work that we have to earn a living. 1:12:26 And 2 Thessalonians 3 says that if a man's not willing to work hard, he should not eat anything. He should not be given he should not earn a salary, he should just starve to death. That's what 2 Thessalonians 3 says. So, hard work is very important. That's 1:12:43 not against the preaching of the word. And when it talk when we talk about faith, faith without works, James makes it very clear. Faith without James chapter 2, faith without works is dead. And he says just James 2:26, 1:13:02 like the body without the breath in it is dead. See the example in James 2:26. The body without breath is dead. You can see a dead body there, 10 fingers, 10 toes, two eyes, two ears, but it's dead. The most important thing is missing. 1:13:21 Breath. Says here, just like a body without breath is dead, even so a faith that does not produce works is dead. What type of faith is that? A faith which has got all the doctrines correct. A picture of a person who's got all the 1:13:39 doctrines correct is a dead body. He believes that God is a trinity. He believes Jesus the son of God. He believes Jesus came to die for the sins of the world. And he believes that Jesus rose again from the dead, has gone up to 1:13:51 heaven, is coming back. All the fingers, toes, eyes, ears of doctrine are there. But there's no breath. There's no obedience to the word. Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commandments." What is the proof of our love for the 1:14:06 Lord? We keep his commandments. He told us not to get angry. We got to work hard to get rid of our anger. He told us not to lust after women. We got to work hard to get rid of that. And he said we must love our enemies. We got 1:14:21 to work hard. That's the proof of our faith. The proof of our faith is obedience. If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And the same thing applies in marriage. We got to work on our marriage. We believe and we want a good marriage. 1:14:40 And we got to work on it and one of the main areas we got to work on is denying our self. "If any man will come after me," Jesus said, "let him deny himself." Let the woman deny herself. Let him take up his cross daily and follow me. 1:14:58 That is the answer. A husband and wife must both take the place being crucified with Christ. The husband must hang on the cross and say, "I'm dead with Christ." The wife hangs on the cross and says, "I'm dead with Christ and I'm going to live that 1:15:13 life crucified with Christ every day." They'll have a glorious marriage. So, that's what they got to work on. Thank you, Brother Zac. So, the second point you mentioned about uh blaming each other, right? We shouldn't be 1:15:26 blaming each other. That was great from Adam and Eve. But what if um a husband thinks like, "Hey, in this particular case my wife is 100% wrong." Or a wife says, "In this particular case my my uh uh husband is 100% wrong. So, he should 1:15:42 come to me like that." How do you respond to that? Okay. First of all, let me say there the only person who's 100% right in this universe is God. And anyone who thinks he's 100% right is acting like God. The I I like the story I heard of a wife 1:16:00 who says who said that "My husband thinks that only two people are perfect. One is God and the other is he himself." Cuz they never make a mistake, they never apologize. So, it's not true. 99% of the fault may be with the other person and be 1% with 1:16:16 you. And I'll give you an example. I remember when one brother many, many years ago backslid in our church. And I said to him, "I don't know why." And 1:16:33 he left our church and I said, "Lord, I never had any problem with him." I never rebuked him, I never did anything. And I what happened? Why did he get offended? And you know what the Lord said to me? Listen carefully. 1:16:51 The Lord said to me from Hebrews 3 13. The word of God says, "Encourage one another daily." Did you try to encourage him? The Lord said, "You're telling me the things you did not do. You did not hurt 1:17:11 him, you did not rebuke him, you did not offend him, you did not do anything. But what did you do positively? Did you obey the command which says, 'Encourage one another daily?'" How many times did you go and encourage him? 1:17:24 I said, "I'm sorry, Lord, I can't think of any time I did that." That was your failure. So, sometimes our failure is not what we did, but what we did not do. There are sins of commission and sins of omission. So, think of this command. 1:17:43 Husbands and wives, all husbands and wives listen. Hebrews 3:13 says, "Encourage one another daily." Every day. I'm not saying you must give a message to each other. No. You can encourage each other just by your behavior. 1:18:00 Just by smiling at one another and being good to one another. But you must seek to encourage one another. Because there's enough discouragement in the world. So, that is what we can do to one another. And so, we cannot say that you never 1:18:17 made any mistake. To the husband who says, "The fault is all with my wife's." I would ask the husband, "Did you encourage her? Did you try to encourage her regularly?" Oh, no, you you didn't you didn't do that. In other words, you did not commit any 1:18:30 wrong, but you omitted to do something very important. So, sins of omission which you forget to do, we don't call sins, but they are sins. It says very clearly in the last words of James chapter 4. James 4 in the last words it says, "When 1:18:46 you know what is the right thing to do, which is to encourage one another, and you don't do it, it is sin." Very clear in James 4 the last verse. You omitted to do something, that is sin. So, never say the fault is all hers. 1:19:03 Yeah, that was fault was hers or his. But see yourself. But so many days I never did anything to encourage her. Okay. Okay. Um can you share that illustration about the clapping hands? It really helped me in my marriage. 1:19:22 Okay. Do you mind sharing that? Sure. See, when you think about clash or any disagreement between a husband and wife, I illustrate it like this. It's a clash. It's a clash. Clash. So, if this is husband and wife, 1:19:41 so if one of them, either husband or wife, say, "I'm going to die to myself." However much the other person wants to have a conflict, there's no sound. Or if the other person says, "I will die to myself." No sound. The clash comes because both 1:19:59 want to stand up for their rights. If one of them is willing to die to himself or herself, there is no sound at all. And if both are willing to die to themselves, then it'll be fellowship. 1:20:19 That's wonderful. So, dying to self is the secret. I heard a a funny story of a man who lived in a house where the next-door neighbor, every morning at 6:30, he would start yelling at his wife. Right, it was almost like an alarm 1:20:35 clock. 6:30 in the morning, the yelling would start and he'd say, "Ah, just started." And one day, it was absolute silence at 6:30 in the morning. After years of hearing a clash at 6:30 in the morning, they said, "What happened? 1:20:52 Has the husband got converted?" So, he went to the house and discovered the husband had died. Ah, that's why there was no clash this morning. Apply that spiritually. When one person chooses to die to self, 1:21:10 there will be no clash. So, don't blame the other person always. That's awesome. Thank you, brother Zac. Um, how about this one? So, the husband's supposed to love his wife, that's a commandment to him. And the wife is asked to submit to the husband. But, 1:21:28 what if my wife doesn't submit to me, why should I love her? And same day, the wife says, like, "My husband doesn't love me, why should I submit to him?" How do we answer that? Well, as I said, we go to God and say, "God could have said, 'Man 1:21:43 doesn't love me, why should why in the world should I go down and try and save him?'" Uh, he doesn't listen to me. Whatever I say, he disobeys. My question is, do you want to be like the devil or do you want to be like God? 1:21:54 That is the ultimate question. The devil's not interested in saving any man. He wants all of them to land up in his lap in hell for eternity. He says, "Let them go their useless way." But God says, "No. I don't want them to go in their useless 1:22:08 way. So, what if they don't submit to me? I will go down and love them and see, think of many of you who are listening today. Now, I find my own experience, we were all rebels against God once. And today, we are joyfully submitting to 1:22:23 him. He's not punishing us to make us submit to him. We are joyfully submitting to him. How did it come? It came because God humbled himself and came down to our level and lifted us up. So, that is the answer in all these 1:22:41 situations. There is a way to bring redemption if we go down and take the low place and be willing to humble ourselves. You know, because when we humble ourselves, God comes on our side and gives us grace. Do any of you husbands and wives who are 1:22:57 finding a difficult situation in your home, do you want God to come and support you? Here's the secret. God gives us grace, which means support, to the humble. He resists the proud. It's proud people who are always stubborn and stand on their rights. 1:23:16 Humble people are willing to give up their rights. And I look at it like 1 Peter 5:5, God gives grace to the humble, but he resists the proud. Now, I picture it like this. If I'm proud and I stand up for my rights, God will come in front of me and 1:23:30 keep pushing me back. But the moment I humble myself, God will come behind me and push me forward. Now, my question is, do you want God to come in front of you and push you back, or do you want him to come behind you and push you forward 1:23:46 in your spiritual life to make you more godly and loving and holy in your home? So, don't say, "My wife doesn't submit to me." Don't say, "My husband doesn't love me." You do what you're supposed to do. And like I said, in 1 Peter 3, it says the 1:24:03 submissive wife wins her husband without a word. And there are many cases of husbands who have loved their rebellious wives and brought them to Christ. So, if you do your part, you can be sure of one thing, God will get behind you and support you. 1:24:18 So, let's ask this question. You got a partner who is not converted. Question. Does God want your partner to be converted, or to become spiritual? Answer is yes. But that partner of yours is not cooperating with God. Okay, you 1:24:37 cooperate with God. You say, "Lord, I'll humble myself before you, and you give me grace. That means you support me. Grace is God's power. And if almighty God supports you, tell me, even the devil cannot stand against you. 1:24:54 And whatever the devil may do in your partner or in your home, one day, God will break it down. The same thing with your children. If your children are stubborn and rebellious, get God on your side. God will break down that rebellion in your 1:25:08 children. So, whether it's husband or wife or children, this is the answer. Humble yourself and get the grace of God on your side. Amen. Um, one last question about marriage, then I have one more for the children part. So, many husbands and 1:25:23 wives, when they go through difficult times, they have these thoughts in their mind, like, "Did I make a mistake? Maybe I didn't follow God's will in this particular marriage. Maybe I should have married someone else." Like, what's your 1:25:36 advice to such couples? Don't ever think I should have married somebody else. You know the the saying in English, "The grass on the other side of the fence looks greener." Till you go there. And you discover all the weeds over 1:25:54 there. So, that other person you think you would have been happier if you had married, God saved you from that. You would have been more miserable. God allowed you to marry someone, and even if it was a choice you made on your own without 1:26:09 seeking God's will, you have to believe the sovereignty of God controls all those things. We don't have to look back and regret. Looking back in regret will never, never help you. Even the world has a saying, "Don't cry 1:26:23 over spilled milk." Because if you were carrying some milk in a jar and a jug, and some of it spilled, if you spend your time crying there, more will get spilled, and the milk you have in your jar will get spoiled. So, don't cry over spilled milk. Use 1:26:38 whatever there is. So, don't ever look back and ask question, "Should I have done this? Should I not have done that?" Every one of us has regrets concerning the foolish, stupid things we did in our past life. I have, certainly. 1:26:54 But I thank God that it's gone. It's cleansed in the blood of Christ, and I'm not going to do that again. But if I sit in regret over the past all the time, meditating on that, I'll do mess up even more in the future. So, we must not sit in regret over the 1:27:08 past. We must say, "Lord, I acknowledge I failed." I've told parents whose children are wayward, "Go to the Lord and say, 'Lord, we failed in bringing up our children in a godly way. Forgive us.'" But no, I'm not going to spend all 1:27:21 my life regretting that. Lord, I I confess my sin, forgive me. Now, Lord, work with my children and bring them to Christ. And God will do it for you. But if you sit with regret, you'll never get anywhere. So, don't ever look back in the past 1:27:35 over regretting anything about any mistake that you made. God can help you. Any blunder that you made, God can overcome that. And I'll give you the greatest example of that. Did God want Adam and Eve to fail? Definitely not. 1:27:55 You cannot say that God created them to fail. He did not want them to disobey him. But they did disobey him. And what was the result? The result was Jesus came and manifested the love of God on Calvary, which we would never have seen 1:28:12 if Adam and Eve had never failed. That is a classic example of how God brings something wonderful out of failure. Out of the failure of man, God manifested his wonderful love on Calvary, which is to show us God is able to overcome the mistakes we 1:28:29 make and bring something good out of it. Romans 8:28 says, "God will make everything, even your past failures, work together for good if you love him today and you want to fulfill his purpose for your life." Would that be also it's so important for 1:28:47 us to be thankful for our spouses, right? Because it's as you said, it's a sovereign arrangement of God. Like, God allowed that happen. So, God knows what's the best for me, that's why God gave my wife to me, right? Yeah, I would say, see, God sees the 1:29:02 future. And even though you and may be a non-Christian, unconverted, you never sought God's will in rebellion, you just married each other, maybe you lived in sin and got married, whatever it is, God who saw the future knew 1:29:20 that one day you would become his child. Maybe 20 years later. He knew that before you got married. That one day you were going to receive Christ and become his child. And so, you This is an amazing truth. That God had a control over your life 1:29:37 even before you were converted. And ordained number of things in your life when you did not even know him. To bring you to the place where you are today. So, we don't want to get into the philosophy of all this. The best thing is to do what Paul says, 1:29:55 "Forgetting the things that are behind and pressing forward to the things that are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of becoming more and more like Christ." So, never never look back in regret over the past and say, "Lord, 1:30:09 I was ignorant." I'll give you a lovely verse for that. Acts 17:30. Acts 17:30. It's a great verse which I always share with people who have regret over the past. Acts chapter 17 and verse 30 says, 1:30:27 "The times of ignorance God overlooks." What does he do about the times of ignorance in your life? He says, "I look overlook it. But now, he commands everyone to repent." Please remember this reference. Acts chapter 17 and 1:30:44 verse 30. Okay, last question I have is uh in terms of you mentioned about disciplining the children, what if if if I am so frustrated angry when my children did something, right? Should I just spank them or should I stay away? Like, what should I do? 1:31:03 Well, let me confess that I have often spanked my children in anger. Many years I did not have victory over sin. When I was married, I had no victory over anger. I had no victory over sin. There was anger in my home from me. 1:31:22 Because I got began to get victory 16 years after I was born again. I never knew. Nobody taught me that there's a life of victory in the new covenant. So, there were times when I spanked my children in anger. What did I do? 1:31:39 I was a Christian. I knew it was wrong. My children were small, maybe 6 or 7 years old. If I apologize to them, they would not be able to understand the difference between the discipline and the anger. They think daddy is apologizing for 1:31:53 hitting me. And if I keep doing that, they will not value this discipline. So, I never told them anything. Then, I would go and I'd go to the rest to the restroom, to the toilet, cuz that is the only place I could lock myself and be 1:32:08 alone in the house undisturbed. And I would sit there and I would weep before God and say, "Lord, I'm really sorry. The discipline is right, but the anger is wrong. Please forgive me for the anger. Please bring me to the 1:32:23 day when I can discipline my children without anger." And I tell you, it took years. It didn't happen overnight. But it became better and better and better and better. And I tell you, I finally learned to conquer my anger 1:32:36 completely. If you seek God with all your heart, he's a rewarder of those who seek him diligently. But what about asking forgiveness from my children? Yes. I said, "When they are about 18 years old, they'll understand the difference. Then, I'll give them a 1:32:53 consolidated apology for all the years when I got angry with them and said, 'I'm sorry.'" Then, they'll be able to understand it. Oh. Thank you so much, brother Zach. As I said, as it off always is a blessing and uh is sister Annie close by you? Can 1:33:12 everyone um I'm sure they all these folks are so blessed by sister Annie also. Okay, let me just give you a minute. Okay. Thank you. Okay, Benoît. All right. Here is my better half. Hi, sister Annie. How are you? I'm good. You have people all over the 1:33:30 world want to say thank you or thank you too. I know we all see brother Zach often, but we don't see that you that often. I know we are always in the background. I'm sitting on the other side listening to the message. I know, but we 1:33:43 are so blessed by your ministry and I'm sure all these folks are from all around the globe wants to say thank you to both of you for the work that you're doing and we so we've been so blessed. Mhm. Praise God. I wanted to share a few things before 1:33:59 you all close up and that is there are some books related to marriage and family which you can get from our CFC website uh online. You can download it and read it or you can order it from CFC India. One is a book called Sex, Love, and 1:34:15 Marriage for those who are not yet married. Your children to prepare them for marriage. I wrote this book 50 years ago. Soon after I was married and I've not changed my opinion Mhm. on anything I've written here. 1:34:31 You're invited to go to the cfcindia.com and you can download it and read the whole thing. And then for little girls, my wife wrote a book called A Girl's Viewpoint. It's a fictional story bringing 1:34:49 Christian truths for young girls. If you have a daughter. Here's a book that my wife wrote for mothers called God Made Mothers. All of these are on our cfcindia.website. And here's a fairly thick book of 1:35:08 called Hear, O My Sons. It's the emails that I wrote to my four sons when they were teenagers and in college in their early 20s. Uh 1:35:25 lots and lots of emails. Um and uh warning them, correcting them, advising them, teaching them. Obeying the scripture which says, "Fathers, bring up your children in the instruction of the Lord." And that applies to sons and daughters equally. 1:35:42 So, any young man uh you have children, this also you can go to the CFC website and you can listen and read it or download it. But I want to encourage you to bring up your children in a godly way. 1:36:00 Thank you. What about the other two books also, brother uh brother Zach? The Heavenly Home, that would be another one, right? Yeah, I forgot that. There's a little booklet called The Heavenly Home, which is also there. And then the 1:36:15 Encouragement for Mothers. The Encouragement for Mothers, that's right. And uh in the US, if you need that book, you can write to me uh ravensministry@gmail.com. Yeah, that's right. You can get it from there. Yes. In the If you're in the US, 1:36:30 I can always ship from here. So. All right. Thank you so much once again, brother Zach and sister Annie and um Yeah, it's been a real pleasure. God bless you all.
