0:00 Good evening brothers and sisters, let's sing our first song, "You are Holy Lord Beyond Description" You are Holy Lord Beyond Description 0:22 Tomorrow will live forward Too wonderful for comprehension Like nothing ever seen or heard Who can grasp your infinite wisdom? 0:46 Who can fathom the depths of your love? You are Holy Lord Beyond Description Majesty and throne above 1:08 And I stand, I stand in all view I stand, I stand in all view I stand, I stand in all view I stand in all view Holy God to whom All praise is due 1:28 I stand in all view I stand in all view And I stand, I stand in all view And I stand, I stand in all view I stand in all view 1:48 I stand in all view I stand in all view I stand in all view I stand in all view I stand in all view Lord the light of your love 2:08 Lord the light of your love is shining In the midst of the darkness shining In the midst of the darkness shining Jesus light of the world shine upon us Set us free by the truth 2:28 You will not bring us Shine on me Shine on me Shine, Jesus shine Fill this land with the Father's glory 2:54 This we're replaced Set our hearts on fire Flow, river flow Flack the nations 3:14 With grace and mercy Send forth your word Lord and let there be light Lord I come to your awesome presence 3:38 From the shadows to your radiance By the blood I may enter your brightness Search thee, try thee, consume For my darkness Shine on me 4:00 Shine on me Shine on me Shine, Jesus shine Fill this land with the Father's glory 4:20 Lord and let the Father's glory Let the Father's glory Let the Father's glory Set our hearts on fire Flow, river flow Flow, river flow Flow, river flow Flood the nations Flood the nations 4:40 With grace and mercy Stand forth your word Send forth your word Lord and let there be light Lord and let there be light As we gaze on your kingdom As we gaze on your kingdom 5:00 As we gaze on your kingdom With brightness So our faces display your likeness Never changing Never changing From glory to glory Never changing From glory to glory Our lives tell your story 5:20 Shine on me Shine on me Shine on me Shine on me Shine on me Shine, Jesus shine Shine, Jesus shine Fill this land with the Father's glory 5:44 Let the Spirit raise Set our hearts on fire Flore, river flow Flore, river flow Flore, river flow Flood the nations With grace and mercy 6:06 Send forth your word Lord and let there be light Lord and let there be light Lord and let there be light Worship the King 6:28 Praise Him and sing Jesus the Lamb upon the throne Glorious His name 6:50 The King Never to sing Never to sing No one is God and King But Jesus the Lord No one is God and King But Jesus the Lord No one is God and King But Jesus the Lord 7:10 No one is God and King But Jesus the Lord You are Ancient of days Ancient of days Worthy of glory Worthy of glory Worship and praise Worship and praise Worship and praise 7:30 Worship the King Worship the King Praise Him and sing Worship the King Praise Him and sing Worship the King Praise Him and sing Worship the King Praise Him and sing 7:50 Worship the King On the throne Glorious His name Glorious His name Glorious His name 8:14 Glorious His name Glorious His name Glorious His name Glorious His name Glorious His name Glorious His name 8:50 You don't have to always listen to me, but some other brothers as well. I'm personally glad what we seek to do more and more. So today we'll hear Brother Parishwitam. Are you here? Brother Parishwitam is an elder in a small village church called Kaliarkoil. 9:18 And from there they've gone out and planted other churches. And he has responsibility for a number of churches like that. And he will tell you more about his own experience. And the Lord took him through many years of a deep trial. 9:41 He had a son who was physically, mentally handicapped. And who died only a few months ago at the age of 32. And many a time he could not come to the conferences because his son was growing and needed help for everything. 10:01 And his wife could not manage on his own. Now some of these things we may think it's a handicap. But I believe that it's through trials like that that his brother has become what he became and could have a ministry. So we're very happy to have humble brothers like this as elders in our churches. 10:22 Brother Parishwitam, please. I gave this brother the option of speaking in English or Tamil. 10:49 He speaks in Tamil most of the time. Pray for him. He's going to speak in English today. Please bear with me for my poor English. I used to read only English Bible so when I come here and some other brothers translate, I have to use the English Bible so I chose to speak in English. 11:08 Please bear with me for my poor English. I thank God for being in the CFC Fellowship for a long time. I came from a Roman Catholic background. I hope it was in 1982 I used to hear the messages of the Zed. Before that, when I was in Roman Catholic Church, I never used to read the Bible at all. 11:34 When I started reading the Bible, first, I was able to found that only the difference between the Roman Catholic teaching and the life and the external things in the Bible. I was not aware of the need to need government teachings and the truth at all. 11:53 So when I accepted the Lord in my 28 years, I think, after I got married and I have a daughter, I found that there was a difference between the way the Roman Catholic Church goes and the teachings there, the infant baptism, idolatry, Mary worship, and confessing the sins to the Christ, and all those things only, it came up to my mind. 12:24 So I accepted the Lord and turned from all those external things and I was happy that I have come to the true life. But when I attended the meetings, first in 1982 in Chennai and then Madurai and then after that I came to Bangalore, 12:46 I was listening to the Sax Messages. The first thing that gripped my heart was that I have to cleanse the inside. I was concentrating on the external things. I loved the smoking, watching TV, movies, and having bad friends and taking intoxicating liquors and all that. 13:07 I was happy with that life. But when I heard that I have to cleanse the inside. And especially that verse in 1 Corinthians 4.5, you read that. Yesterday also quoted that verse, 1 Corinthians 4.5. So don't make judgments about anyone ahead of time, before the Lord returns. 13:32 For He will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever price is due. That is, God will judge the darkest secrets, that is, the secret motives and thoughts, our innermost thoughts. 13:51 So, then I started fearing God. In Romans 2.16 also, Paul was stressing that. So, when I got some light over that, I was fearing God. Because before that, when I used to sit in the church itself, I was lusting after a woman in my heart. 14:08 I thought it was not a sin at all. Because according to the Old Testament, the physical adultery was the only adultery that I know as a sin. But, when I came to know that God is going to judge our secret thoughts and motives, I feared God. 14:23 Lord, I am sinning. I have to be saved, Lord. Please save me. I am sinning. I am sinning. I am sinning. I was fearing and I worked on that constantly. So, when I got gripped in that, at the same time, there were conferences in Tamil Nadu. 14:41 So, when I attended those conferences, mostly the theme of the conferences would be, Jesus needs disciples, not believers or converts. He needs disciples. And then overcoming sin, victory over sin, and becoming like Jesus. 14:57 Those were the topics, mostly there was the themes of conferences. When I attended those conferences, repeatedly, I was gripped by that message. After that, when I came to Bangalore to attend the conference, I saw the brothers and sisters who were actually living the life there. 15:20 Especially that Zach and Brian, only those two were the elders there. They respected each other, mostly. Even now, I am seeing, even after 33, 34 years, I am seeing the same. The respect has increased, not decreased. It was light to me that they are respecting each other, honoring each other. 15:42 When they even speak to each other, especially when I saw Brother Ian, respecting Brother Zach very much, even in his absence, he was very respecting. That's back to my heart. And another thing is the love and unity here. 15:59 There is no disparity on the basis of language, rich or poor. When I came to the conference, the highly educated people would be sweeping the floor. I saw cleaning the toilet and all that. I was gripped by that. When we go and when we were newcomers, we used to inquire who is Brother Zach, who are the children of Brother Zach and where is his house and who is the brother sweeping the floor and who is serving food and all that. 16:25 Because much interested to know all those facts, very interesting to know. So, in those days when a brother is sweeping the floor, we used to go, "Who is this brother always sweeping?" He used to tell that he was a highly educated person working in a reputed institute. 16:42 And sometimes we were told that everyone should clean the toilet and all that. Even Brother Zach used to clean the toilet there. And it was amazing when in Pentecostal churches, not only the pastor, in the pastor's wife also will be highly respected. 16:57 He will be the assistant pastor there. So, when I saw that even the elders here doing all those menial jobs, it was eye-opening to me and the handling of money there and the love between the brothers and sisters, between the various languages, rich and poor, there is no distinction. 17:20 There were some people rich, there were some people poor, educated or uneducated, Malayalists, Tamilians, Anglo-Indians, they were all one united in the name of the Lord. I was humbly impressed by that and in Pentecostal churches, in one conference, many times they would be repeatedly announcing about the offerings and the need for the conference and put the highest thing or put the offering which don't sound and all that. 17:49 But in this conference, never they make any mention of the offerings or they never spoke of the needs. So, all these things came to my mind. I was longing, Lord. I was not speaking to many people there. I was secretly praying in my heart, Lord. 18:07 I want one church like this in our locality. That was my burden. So, I shared my burden with other brothers with me. And there were few brothers with me who were very much cryptic with this. So, we longed for a church in our locality with a pure testimony for the Lord. 18:25 So, one thing I wanted to mention, when I was in the conference, this Bangalore atmosphere was very quite new to me. I was having a little cold and I was coughing here and there in the middle of the conference. The conferences were held in the old CFC building. 18:44 I was sitting in the middle and often coughing, making sounds like. In the afternoon session, an older brother came and sat by my side. And he opened his back and took a bottle of syrup, cough syrup. And he was just putting his arms around me and asked me, brother, do you have cold and cough? 19:04 Yes, brother, I said. Then he gave me that bottle and please take this. It will cure your cough. Then I was amazed. Who is this brother? I never knew him. But this brother is very concerned about me. And he has brought, he has took the risk of going and purchasing a bottle of syrup and giving it to me. 19:23 He was much wondering. So in our place, these young brothers, we gathered together and we are praying for a church like that. And there was a Pentecostal pastor with us. He was also interested in this truth. But he came out with us and he changed the name and we never took any collection and all that. 19:43 Immediately what happened was the offering gone down. The tithe was not insisted. So he could not leave the small amount of money that he received in the church. So he left and we few people, I remember that is four or five people only along with my family. 20:01 And two were bachelors. We came out and they started praying together. And there we had a very wonderful fellowship. Whenever we meet together, we will be discussing about the Bible only or some spiritual books or matters. 20:17 We were very much united and longing for that. And what happened, within a few years, one of our brother got transferred to his native place. It was in the other district. We were weeping like anything because that glorious fellowship, we could not bear to depart. 20:36 But anyhow, that brother used to come. He has to travel two to three hours to his place of work. But he regularly used to visit us on all Sundays he will come. Then his parents got saved. Then his co-workers got saved. And he took a wife, a believer, from one of our churches. 20:55 And thereby the number increased from that place to come to Kalayarka Hill, far away from two to three hours of journey. So we advised them to gather there. And we took the risk of going one person from Kalayarka Hill to that place. 21:09 And he started a small meeting with a small group of people. And it grew to be a church there now. And at that time, some new young brothers were added to us. I was happy that not even one single young girl was there. So some used to comment about Kalayarka Hill in Tamil. 21:30 They used to call whether it is Kalayarka Hill or it is Kalayarka Hill. There are only young men there. So a few people, only not much educated. They were jobless. And within one hour's travel in one place called Manamadrida, 21:48 a factory was started. A ship company in the ship by the help of ship cart. And these brothers got a job there. And there were few numbers. There were youngsters. So we, one of us, used to visit them in the middle of days. 22:02 In one of the weekdays for Wednesday or Friday, I remember. We will go from the workplace carrying the bag there itself. We will not return home. And we will go there and used to encourage those brothers. Their life was a glorious light to others. 22:18 And one of the family who gave that house got gripped by their life. Young people usually sit and chat and play and go for movies and smoking and all sorts of evil habits. But these fellows are different. Their life was different. 22:35 They are disciplined and very pious and used to gather together and pray together. So that family invited us to conduct the weekly meetings in their own house. God bless them. And we had our weekly meetings. That is, in between Sundays, we gathered there. 22:50 And one day, some, these two brothers went away on the streets while they were walking on the streets. In a house, there was a sound of songs, Christian songs came. When they entered the house and inquired, some Ceylon brothers were gathering there. 23:06 They were all charismatic people going to Javath Otam in our place nearby. They were gathering together and praying together and singing together. Mostly, they will be singing songs only. So, they went and inquired, what were you doing? 23:21 Where are you from? They inquired these people. And by that way, they became friends. And one time, there was a problem in the family. And these young brothers had advised them, we are young. We cannot help you. So, please come and contact our elders. 23:37 So, when we ask them to come here, no, no, you must come and tell the truth to us. So, we all will wait for you. So, we pastored and prayed and the two brothers went there. And all were gathering there. When we entered that place, they were, that dress and way of behavior was very different. 23:56 And we were feeling that we were walking through the fire. Such was the temptation. But we feared. Anyhow, we went there and we were not preaching. Just we went to the fasting and praying. They were putting all sorts of questions about the Christian faith and their church and all that. 24:17 The first statement they made to us was, come and speak to us, but don't call us to come to your church. We will not come to your church. I said, no, I said, no, I never will call you to come to our church. But anyhow, if you want, you can come and visit. 24:34 But if you are interested, we will come and tell you the truth. By that we started. But in a short period, they all got creeped and were very zealous for the Lord and came and they took baptism and they wanted to come to the church. 24:49 They left the charismatic movement and the pastor was disappointed. But there was a pastor coming and gathering them and leading them. So, we became the enemy of that pastor. Whenever he saw, he hated us. And anyhow, they joined us. 25:04 And when the numbers increased, we felt compassionate for them. So many of the people have to pay to the buses and take time to come to our place. So, we started a meeting in the evening on Sundays. So, one of us will go there and conduct the meetings in that place. 25:22 And by that way, in Mana Madri, there was a fellowship started. And after that sometime, there was a pastor who was a relative of mine in some other, the next district that is Ramnad and is at Abramam place. He used to unite me for an all-night prayer. 25:39 So, when I consulted one of our senior brothers, he told, brother, there is no good witness. It is not good for you to go there. But I prayed. The Lord gave me a leading in my spirit to go there. So, I said, the Lord is leading me, brother. 25:55 Then I went along with one brother. Always, I never used to go single. I always took somebody else with me to balance my ministry. So, when two of us went there, there was an all-night prayer conducted by the pastor. And in between the meetings, there was a little tea time. 26:14 And they will give some sundal and tea, milkless tea. And in that time, that is a small interval period, some of the young brothers there wanted to have fellowship with us. And they clarified about some questions in their mind about the Christian way of life. 26:33 And we were sharing with our heart for a few minutes only. They were very much interested and got attached to us. And then we came to our place. After that, I did not know what happened there. After some time, I was told that they were separated from the pastor, seeing the pastor's life, not the witness, Christian witness. 26:54 So, because of the bad testimony of the pastor, these people, some bunch of people came out. And they joined another denomination and were conducting the church. In the meantime, we were inviting Brother Zach to our place. 27:07 That is, we had a conference at Sivanga. I don't know their address. It was God who was doing all these things. And I remembered one of the brother's name. So, I wrote a letter. In those days, there was no cell phones. And very rarely, you will have even the landlines. 27:26 So, I used to send a letter. Whatever address I remembered, I wrote and sent it. Because only in the middle of the night, we met. But anyhow, the Lord let the letter reach to that particular brother's hand. Some eight brothers came to that conference in which Brother Zach was speaking. 27:43 They got tripped in that meeting and asked us to come and visit their place. They wanted to have a church like that. So, we said, you are a part of the denomination. How can we come and join your meetings? So, that brother, he was a very zealous brother. 28:02 He left the denomination and handed over the responsibilities to the pastor. And they gathered together in small numbers. And from that day onwards, one of us from Kalayurga used to visit them every week and slowly in the alternative weeks. 28:21 And after that, we withdrew from going there. Now and then, when they called, we go now. And they have fellowship now. About 80 to 100 people are there now. There is a good fellowship there. But in this way, the Lord let us to have churches in the surrounding places. 28:36 Sometimes, when the numbers increase from a place or a distant place, and we ask them to be there and remain there. And we will go there and conduct the meetings on Sunday evenings. And thereby, the fellowships are started in other places also. 28:54 That is in Tirupatur and the Pudupattnam and all that. So, I thank God for it. It is none of my single work there. No, nothing. It was the Lord who let us. We got gripped by the truth. And it was burning in our heart to have a glorious and pure testimony for the Lord. 29:13 And I got gripped in my life. When I got converted and repented truly, previously I used to take intoxicating liquors, play cards, go to movies, and my life was totally not good. My association with friends also was not good. 29:30 My relatives were happy, but when I saw it converted and accepting the Lord and my ways of life were thoroughly changing. And in those days, Brother Zach used to teach us the basic foundational truth very strictly. And I used to purchase bus tickets and cancelled and purchased stamps to pay the government debts and apologies to people and for all places, writing letters. 29:57 And I want to deeply repent of my sins, whatever has come to my mind. The other day, Brother Zach, in the morning, I think, Brother Zach was saying that he used to apologize for having me taken a stamp. But in my days, after accepting the Lord, when I was gathering for a bread-breaking, the Lord spoke to me in my heart. 30:23 That I have, when I was studying, that was in 1973, I think, in the college, a physics library book I have taken. That is, two books I am permitted to take and I have to return it back before the examination. Otherwise, they will not give the heart to get it. 30:38 But three books have come to me. I don't know how it came to me. And that one book was extra. It is, of course, it is useless if I think. But in those days, that book was a very valuable one to me. That money was very, some seven rupees or something in those days. 30:54 But the Lord spoke to me, you have to return the book. Brother was telling that how much it will be painful. Even to lose four months salary would be easier to write a letter to somebody else accepting that I was taken it or stolen it, something. 31:09 So, I was, I, you know, I confessed my sin to the Lord. Lord, I will apologize to the person. I will send it back. But, so, and then I took part in the covenant. And after that, I was, I took the book and packed it and I wrote the address. 31:27 And there, there was a Hindu college I, I was studying. I sent it. I was fearing in my heart. But, anyhow, I have to send it because the Lord spoke to me. So, I sent the book. And when I was studying that, that was after 10 years. 31:40 Just in 1973, 74, I was studying in the 80 degree course. But it is after 10 years, 84 or 85, I think, I sent the book with a letter. I said, sir, I have knowingly taken it and kept it. But please, forgive me. It is a mistake. 31:59 I understand now. So, I wrote it. I was fearing that whether they would have put me to shame. But, the, so, it was, the college was a Hindu college. The department head, the professor was a Christian. He sent me a postcard. 32:17 My dear Parasitam, I hope now you have taken the right step in the right direction. Let God bless you. So, I was very happy that God is always with me. I was really fearing. In those days, it was a heavy cost to pay that. 32:33 Not the cost of the book. If at all I would have asked you to pay the cost of the book, I would have been sent it in three or four times. No problem. But, apologies to and accepting that I have stolen the book. It was very painful for me. 32:48 But, the Lord let me die. When the Lord spoke, I was ready to obey. So, in all these cases, the Lord made me to the deeper life. And, what challenging was to me, in the innermost life, you have to repent and take a deep repentance. 33:11 So, I want to read the book of Job in this context. Brother has explained that this book of Job is perhaps the first book written that is in the Bible. But, in that book, the man who had no Bible or church, he used to write repeatedly in verse 1, 33:33 I made a covenant with my eyes, not to look with lust at a young woman. In verse 7, if I have strayed from his path away, or if my heart has lusted for what my eyes have seen, or if I am guilty of any other sin, in one translation, it is put like this. 33:50 If my heart follows my eyes. In verse 9, if my heart has been seduced by a woman, or if I have lusted for my neighbor's wife. In verse 11, oh, chapter 31, chapter 31, Job, sorry, chapter 31, verse 1, verse 7, verse 9, and now I am reading verse 11. 34:15 For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished. It's a fire that burns all the way to hell. It would wipe out everything I own. So, in all these verses, repeatedly see how a man of God who lived many years before other books were written, 34:38 or was convicted in his heart that he must be... It shows that he is a real or really a God-fearing man. So, when I feared God, I was... No, I have not immediately become perfect, but I constantly was fearing God and working. 34:56 Whenever bad thoughts, the impurity of thoughts in my heart, I was fearing God and confessing and praying, Lord, please save me, save me, save me. So, and in those days, that is before my repentance, I was thinking of... 35:15 My constant endeavor was to become a rich man and to study well and become a... To come to a good position and have honor. So, I wanted to be prominent and popular and rich. That was my goal. But after accepting the Lord, everything became useless and rubbish. 35:35 So, I thought, I withdrew from all the worldly associations, clubs and the trade unions and all that. I resigned from everything. I wholly accepted the Lord. And one of my old elder, Brother Salvaraj, was my senior in my working place. 35:52 And we would be sitting close to each other. And when we were in the working place, he was an accountant then. And he used to scrutinize the accounts. It was a difficult job. He has to concentrate on that. When he was concentrating on that, myself sitting by his side will... 36:14 Brother, can you go to that place or meet this man or that? I will be speaking about the church things. I will be working there. My thoughts will be for the church or the people or things of God. So, that was my desire constantly. 36:30 When I used to go for the lunch, I would take my bag and come with the bags and everything. And after that, immediately after the evening, office hours is over, maybe I used to travel to some other place. And it was a zeal that come, God came to me. 36:49 I did not know anything about ministry, church or anything. We don't have any idea of starting a new church at all. But when I saw the real truth and the life in the brothers in the fellowship in CFC, Bangalore, the zeal came to me. 37:08 And we wanted to have a pure testimony in our locality, a church like this. The Lord helped us. It was everything that we have to give thanks to God and the CFC church here. And also the other thing is the body of Christ. 37:25 The church is not a congregation or a club, but it is a body of Christ. Body of Christ means, we read in 1 Corinthians chapter 12, but we are individually the parts of the body. So, we have no interest in constructing a building or anything. 37:45 We wanted to have a real life and a fellowship. And one of the conferences, two brothers who were newly coming to our fellowship, they were interested. They were doing some real estate business. They came with us. When they came to the CFC conferences hall, after seeing the hall, they were planning that we have to go and purchase a land and construct a building similar to this. 38:09 They were discussing like that. When we returned home, they came and offered a good piece of land. We are ready to give this land. Please register it in the church name and we can start constructing a building like the building CFC in Bangalore. 38:24 So, we were not satisfied with our life. We said, no, we don't want any land. Please give your heart to the Lord. Then again, after some time, one of the partners came and offered another piece of land, which is very closer to the main road. 38:38 Then again, also, we said, no, no, we don't want the land or building. For 15 years, we were worshiping the Lord and gathering together in the thatched set only in the upstairs of my house. So, we were not interested in the building. 38:53 We were not interested in the free gift of land or anything. So, after 15 years, the Lord gave us a building now. So, the Lord was doing everything in our life. So, we have the theme here that the whole purpose of God. One of the purpose of God, we read in Romans 8, 29. 39:16 I want to read the verse, Romans 8, 29. For God knew his people in advance and he chose them to become like his son. So, that his son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. In those days, Brother Zach was emphasizing in all the meetings that it is not the Lord's intention to gather people as converts or believers. 39:45 It's interesting is to make disciples. So, we must become disciples of Jesus. He was emphasizing in every meeting. Here also, we see that it is God's intention that all who God knew his people in advance and he chose them to become like his son. 40:03 Like his son means not in authority and power, but in the divine nature. So, we wanted to have that life. But there were many failures, no doubt. But we pressed on to perfection. So, church means it is a bunch of imperfect people pressing on to become perfect. 40:25 That is our constant and consistent endeavor. So, now I want to share something from what he had done to me in my life by giving my son. He was mentally retarded. Brother was mentioning it. I really thank God for having given that son. 40:47 I never or myself murmured against God or crumbled the way he had given this child. Because we loved him so much. And because I was a wretched sinner, I used to think always that, Lord, I deserve, I deserve more than this. 41:03 So, I accepted. But our constant prayer was God. But our constant prayer was, Lord, heal him miraculously or give us grace to manage him. So, Lord has not miraculously healed him, but he gave us grace to manage him. One thing I learned from managing him was, the Lord's intention was to humble me because I was a proud man. 41:28 So, Lord, by giving this child has humbled me all through these days. Whenever the other children, my other children performed well, I was proud of their accomplishments. But by showing this boy, the Lord has balanced me that you have nothing to do with intelligence. 41:47 It is God who is deciding everyone's IQ. So, there was nothing to be proud of the other children's accomplishments. So, the Lord balanced me and I was impatient. The Lord gave me a chance to grow impatient. That is, a good college will conduct so many tests in a day. 42:08 So, like that, there were so many chances for me to learn patience. And my son could not do anything of his own. For brushing the teeth and going to toilets, taking bath, dressing, and for everything. For eating, we have to do everything. 42:25 So, when he was a small child, it was easy for us to take him and go elsewhere we wanted. But when he grew older and fatter and taller than us, then we could not easily take him to elsewhere. So, we have to pray for everything. 42:42 One thing I was learning patience through him. Even for feeding him for one time, sometimes it will take half an hour to one hour. For three times, to feeding him alone, it will take sometimes two hours, three hours, or four hours. 42:57 Sometimes, in the morning breakfast, I will be complete feeding. It will come to 11, 30, or 12 sometimes. Because he will not cooperate with us. Sometimes, I felt angry and I thought, wantonly, he is doing something. So, I was angrily dealt with him. 43:13 And then, in my heart, the spirit was speaking. There is an unheard voice from him. Dad, please bear with me. Please understand me. Brother Annie used to write in a book like that. There are voices unheard from people who could not express their feelings, pains, and sufferings. 43:33 Their needs, even. So, in the churches also, there are people who cannot come and talk to us. So, as a father, I have to be patient with him. So, I felt sorry and apologies to him. So, he cannot understand. I felt sympathetic. 43:48 And I repented and many times, I had to learn patience and other things. I cannot plan to go to a conference or any place for ministry even. It depends on the situation. Because sometimes, brothers will be invading from our churches, surrounding churches. 44:10 But I cannot decide on my own accord. I have to pray, Lord, if you permit me, I will go. Sometimes, Lord will arrange things, make the circumstances easier for me to go. So, some of my children or my wife will be taking care. 44:25 And he will be passive and easily manageable. There was sometimes that he was affected by psychiatric problem also. Sometimes, he was sleepless all through the night and he would be violent. I will hit the switch boxes and the glass windows broken and heart hurt in his hands and the blood injuries were there. 44:46 And there was sometimes that all through the night he will not sleep and he will go and push the windows and making constant sounds. Sometimes, he will make a noise. And I found it difficult. But all these physical sufferings have nothing to do with in my heart. 45:05 And we, because we loved him so much, instead of all these, so we, whenever we find problems, we always used to pray. There was one night in, I wept to God, Lord, his mentally retarded child. I am his father and myself and my wife can bear with him and take care of him as long as we live. 45:27 Suppose we will die. What will happen to him? Who will take care of him? What will be his future? In case if he could be able to manage himself for this day-to-day care, at least some other people can financially help them manage him. 45:39 But he cannot take care of himself, even by going to the bathroom. So, what, Lord? How it would be? Then, after the prayer meetings, amazingly, the Lord took my burden. From then on, I never felt a burden for his future. 45:58 The Lord spoke to me, you are the natural guardian. You are not the owner. So, I am the owner of his life. I will take care. You, your duty is to take care of him as long as you live. So, from then on, I never burned about his future. 46:15 I was praying. Whenever I saw there was a need, I used to pray for the day-to-day activities only. So, for everything, another thing that I learned from him was, I have to depend on the Lord, even for small, small things. 46:33 To feed him, to brush his teeth, to save his hair, face, and cut his hair, for everything. For I had to do that all, because he will not cooperate with the outside person coming in and doing those works. So, when I was doing all those things, I have to depend on the Lord and praying for every small, small things. 46:52 I used to pray, Lord, please, help me, help me, help me. But, I can, with all my heart, say, the Lord gave us tremendous grace to manage him. So, I never questioned, Lord, why you have given him? But, always, I prayed to the Lord, Lord, is there anything wrong in me? 47:10 Please show me. But, the Lord gave me abundant grace. Another thing I wanted to tell is, that God is very punctual. When we read in the book of Excellency Arts 3.11, God does everything in his own time, perfectly. 47:32 So, he gave him, in the right time, and it was good for us. And, in the end, he took him, to be with him, in the right time. So, one of the pastors, from a Pentecostal church, I never spoke to him. He had come for the, condolence. 47:51 While the body was there, I was sitting in one place, and he came, and he was speaking that, in a God-servant house, such a thing should not happen. But, anyhow, he said, I was not willing to hear that. 48:11 When the message reached, Brother Zach, he spoke to me over phone. I wept, because, we cared for him. We loved him so much, so, his separation was very painful to me. Brother Zach and Sister Annie was very much concerned about him. 48:31 Whenever they come for the conference, or speak to me over phone, invariably used to question, How is John? It comforted me so much. Sometime, I used to wonder, He is going all around the world, to so many churches, and meeting people. 48:48 How he could remember, and invariably, Cuisining, and helping, and comforting. So, many people came for the condolence. I was not, weeping, or feeling anything. But, when Brother Zach spoke to me, I was not able to speak to him. 49:05 Words could not come out of throat, because he was really interested in me. So, when, really, people were interested and loving them, when we meet them, our feelings were different. For all other people, that Pentecostal people were speaking as he was very sympathetic, and something had wrongly happened. 49:22 No, no, no. Brother spoke to me two sentences, I remember. See, he went to be with the Lord. Glorify God. Immediately, I got released in my spirit. I was free. He went to be with the Lord. Glorify Him. So, I glorify God. 49:37 That He gave Him, and blessed us. And by His presence in our house, we are very much blessed. Because, physically, there was some sufferings. It is no... Yes, but, spiritually, we were so much blessed. I learned humility. 49:55 Sometimes, humiliated by His activities, by other people. They may used to be annoyed over what He is doing and making sounds, and when He used to take Him by buses, He will pull the collar of the person who is sitting in the front, and sometimes... 50:10 So, when He grows older, we have to take Him by bus. We have to take Him by car or something else. And He said, "So, we did not like to take Him somewhere. Either myself or my wife must be there. Otherwise, we cannot leave Him home." 50:25 So, I cannot say that I have taken care of Him fully to His satisfaction for His feelings He cannot explain. His pains and sufferings He could not explain. So, whatever treatment or help or service we did, we cannot say it has satisfied Him because we don't know what was His feeling. 50:44 But, anyhow, as a father and mother, we did our level best. God gave us grace. So, I am very much thankful to God. So, what my sayings to my fellow brothers, sisters who are having some disabled children at home, whether physically or mentally disabled or depressed. 51:07 I would like to say that God will never let us to be tested beyond our ability. He is always to help us. In 1 Peter 5:7, we read that God is one who cares for us. We can lay our worries and burdens on Him. 51:27 Yeah, we laid our burden on the Lord and we took care of Him. And all these sufferings or pains, whatever it is, for all the 32 and a half years, I have forgotten it now. It has passed. So, I am thankful to God. He has blessed us by giving Him in our family and He has blessed us by taking Him at the right time. 51:53 So, I am thankful to God. So, I would like to say to all brothers and sisters who are having such children, disabled children at home, please be encouraged. So, we need not think that it is our sin that has done something to us. 52:12 No. It is God's way. In Isaiah chapter 55:8 and 9, we read that God's ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. We don't know why such things are happening in Christian homes. Why disabled children or physically handicapped children are given in our homes. 52:31 We don't know. So, God's ways are not our ways. Whenever I was meditating on the Joseph's life, I read in Potiphar's house, as a slave, he was working there. It was written that God was with him. And then he was put into jail. 52:48 Again it is written, God was with him. That is a question arises in our mind. Why? When if God is with him, why he has not released him and sent back to his father Jacob? He would have released him. But it is not written like that. 53:01 So, it is a challenge to a son. God's ways are not our ways. God is mending him and is making him good for God's work. God has a plan for everyone. We don't know why God is allowing such things in our families. 53:22 But one thing we know that God is for us. Always he does everything for our goodness only. Maybe physically it is hard to understand or hard to bear with. But spiritually it is a blessing. Definitely it is a blessing. So, I thank God with all my heart. 53:41 For the church, for the truth I hear. For my good elders who have led me in this way. And for their comfort. And very good brothers, sisters. And one thing I have to mention that in my local church, every brothers and sisters were bearing with us. 53:59 They know, everybody know how my son would have, how he behaved at my home and in the church. Sometimes he used to walk in the middle of the meeting. Sometimes it is very difficult for, I would be speaking in front and he will get up and walk in the middle of the pavement. 54:19 So, our brothers and sisters were always kind enough and they never complained why this boy is getting involved. They will always try to take him out or try to put him to sit. So, there was good understanding. Always our brothers and sisters were helpful to me. 54:37 And similarly from other places also, some brothers and sisters always praying for us. Whenever I meet, they will tell me, I'm praying for you. It's a comforting word. So, I want to advise all of us who are not having such children, 54:53 please pray for others who are having some disabled children. And always be kinder. It's not a sympathetic, compassionate words, but praying for them and really be sharing that grief. I hope God was led us in this new common life. 55:12 Another thing I come to knew from the New Testament teaching was, that is in whether yesterday shared in Matthew 5:20, that is the external life and the internal life. So, for all these teachings, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the elders and thankful for CFC. 55:32 Thank you. See, when we pray, 55:55 God doesn't always answer the way we think. He gives us the best. I want to read something here. I asked for strength that I might achieve. 56:16 God made me weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given weakness that I might do better things. 56:37 I asked for riches that I might be happy. God gave me poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. 56:57 I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. 57:18 I got nothing that I asked for, but everything that I hoped for. And despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among all the men in the world, most richly blessed. 57:38 Only those who know Jesus Christ can say that. You know, God doesn't keep us on earth just to have a good time. Of late, in our churches, I have been emphasizing, we are not just to be witnesses in the world. 58:05 Ephesians 3:10 says we have to be witnesses to Satan. Many people don't know that. How many churches have you heard people preach and tell you you've got to be a witness to Satan? They don't know that. They only say we have to do evangelism, be there, be there, witness to people. 58:24 And those people see a man struggling with a mentally retarded child and say, "What type of God do you have?" They don't know God's ways. God wanted to mold Brother Parasuttam to be a man of God who could plant churches. 58:49 He didn't send him to a Bible school. He gave him a Bible school inside his house. And his professor was his son who taught him things that no professor in a Bible school could ever teach. Because God wanted to make a man of God. 59:14 God's ways are not our ways. We would never think of doing that. We think education, degrees and all that, we can serve God. It's not his way. The way of brokenness and crying out in need, despised by others. 59:37 People saying, "Where is your God?" It's gone on through the centuries. And God's people are locked up in some prison because they are faithful. People say, "Where is your God? Couldn't he deliver you from that prison?" 59:53 God puts his greatest ambassadors in prison. He gives handicapped children to some of his greatest sermons. And I thought, you know, every child is a gift of God. The Bible says that children are a gift of God. 1:00:14 A gift is always meant to bless. And I'm sure after 32 years of looking after a mentally retarded child who could do nothing, nothing means nothing for himself. Today, Brother Parishitam can say that was indeed a gift of God. 1:00:36 And probably a greater blessing to him than his other clever children. God's ways are perfect. And to come out of the end of it without any complaint against God, but also to testify that he never allows us to be tested beyond our ability. 1:00:55 1 Corinthians 10:13, I've quoted it for years. But when he quotes it, it has more value, without a doubt. And I believe that that son made Parishitam the man he became, and the man that has been a blessing to many, many people. 1:01:21 And there are many others who must have observed and seen, and only in eternity you will know how many others were blessed which we don't know about here. But Ephesians 3:10 says the manifold wisdom of God has now to be made known through the church to the authorities in heavenly places. 1:01:43 Those are the evil authorities. The devil is a great accuser. You see that in the book of Job. Ah! Why does Job serve you? Because you've given him health, you've given him money, you've given him this. Why does Parishitam serve you? 1:01:59 You've given him this, you've given him that. God says, "Okay, there's one man on earth I will allow you to test." He can't try that on everybody. Because he knows some people will fail the test and bring disgrace to the name of God, so he won't allow it on everybody. 1:02:19 Don't worry. Some choice servants are chosen to show the devil something which others cannot handle. It's too much. And it says, "God does not allow us to be tested beyond our ability." 1:02:44 Can you imagine what tremendous spiritual ability this brother had to handle someone like this for 32 years without complaint? And I'll tell you something, I've known him for many, many of these years. If you meet him in a conference, I've seen him in every conference for the last 30 years, you'll never think that this is a brother who's having a handicapped child at home. 1:03:08 Never, never, never. It's always cheerful and people who did not know about his home would never have known it. Looking at his face, he never spoke about it. He just allowed God to work in him and what others saw was the result. 1:03:26 The grinding and powdering and all that went on behind, nobody saw. It's like that. But God could point out Job to Satan and God could point out Parasitam to Satan. It's different ways. I hope he can point you out to Satan. 1:03:48 There's a man, there's a woman. You don't have to go through the same type of trial. There are many ways your trial may be different. God does not put us in one class and give us all the same subjects. I always say the Holy Spirit gives us personal tuition, private tuition. 1:04:10 You know, the olden days, the sons of kings were not allowed to go to school. The teacher will come and teach the son. Ordinary children go to school. But the princes, the tuition teacher will come to his house, the palace, and teach them personally. 1:04:33 That's how the Holy Spirit gives each one of his children personal, private tuition. The subjects are all different. But it's according to our need. The way the Holy Spirit gives me tuition is not the way the Holy Spirit gave tuition to this brother. 1:04:52 Not the way the Holy Spirit gives it to you. But to me it's been a tremendous encouragement to know that I am subject of private tuition because I am the son of a king. Parasitam was the son of a king. And so God gave him private tuition. 1:05:10 He did not put in a general class just to hear all the subjects. And you also. Yes. Different. Your subjects may be a little different from his but the goal is the same. The Holy Spirit wanted to make him like Jesus, wants to make me like Jesus, wants to make you like Jesus. 1:05:30 But he knows exactly how to do it. He has got a particular ministry for him and a particular ministry for you. And imagine if Brother Parasitam had reacted in a bad way to this. And questioned God like others would have done. 1:05:50 Lot of people in Tamil Nadu would have missed that blessing. Lot of churches would not exist today. But one day when the sorrows of this earth are over, and we stand in eternity with Jesus, we will say, "He has done all things well." 1:06:12 He did it in the very best way as we look at the result. Today we only see the training process. But when we see the result finally when Christ comes back, we will say, "Thank you Lord, your way was perfect. And you made my way perfect." 1:06:34 That God wanted to send, every child is a gift of God, and God wanted to send a child who is not spiritually retarded, but who had a mental handicap. And God looks around the earth, "Whom can I entrust this child to, who won't get upset with it, who will love, care?" 1:07:06 And God searches and finds Harisata, and his wife. His wife is such a meek, humble lady. I'm sorry, she's not here. God says, "Okay, I will send this child to that home, because I can trust that home." 1:07:29 Maybe he could not trust that child to some other home, because they would have complained and grumbled and brought the atmosphere of hell into that home. But God could entrust that child to this home, and know that that child would make that home more heavenly, by the attitude of the parents. 1:07:53 I thank God that in CFC, we are not preaching unrealistic things. We don't go around preaching that, "God's going to heal everybody. Jesus healed the sick, and you're all going to be..." It's an unrealistic message. It's not the truth. 1:08:12 To me, this is a great miracle, a greater miracle. God, I'm not saying God doesn't do miracles, but He decides that. Where He wants to do a miracle, and where He feels a greater miracle will come, if there is no healing. 1:08:27 Think of the Apostle Paul, the greatest servant of God in the first century, as I said. I see it. And He's so honest, when He says in 2 Corinthians chapter 12, "I was in danger of becoming proud." I say, "Paul, you were looking at Jesus all the time. 1:08:50 You were in danger of becoming proud?" He would say, "Yes, I was in danger of becoming proud, because God was using me." And so, God looked at Paul and said, "He's such a fine man. There's nobody like him on the earth. 1:09:10 I never want to oppose him. But I will have to oppose him if he becomes proud, because that's God's nature." "He's such a fine man, I don't want to oppose him." And that's what God says about Parasitam also. "He's such a fine man, I don't want to oppose him. 1:09:27 But he'll get puffed up when he's used by me, so I have to do something to humble him." In Parasitam's case, it was one case. In one thing, in Paul's case, it was a thorn in his flesh. God does it in different ways. But the ultimate aim was to keep a man humble, so that God does not have to oppose him. 1:09:47 I praise God for that. God has dealt with me in different ways, not in the same way as with Him. But I know His ultimate goal always, always, always, is to keep us humble so that He never has to oppose us. So that He can keep on giving us grace. 1:10:06 He can't change His nature. God never changes His nature. He is opposed to the proud. And it doesn't matter who it is proud. If it is Paul gets proud, God will oppose him. And the devil will be delighted. And the devil knows, "I don't have to fight with people. 1:10:23 I just make a person proud, God will fight with him." Do you know that? The devil is so clever. He doesn't have to trouble you. Just puff you up a little bit, God will do the rest. God will oppose you and that's the end of your spiritual life. 1:10:38 So the devil knows that, even if you don't. The most difficult thing for God to do is not create the universe. He did it in a moment. It's not difficult for God to bless a man. It's very easy. But to keep a man humble, after he has blessed him, 1:10:58 extremely difficult for Almighty God. And you see all around us, the sad stories of mighty men of God who have fallen. But God withdrew his grace. And that preacher falls into adultery. 1:11:18 The other guy doesn't fall into adultery, he falls into the love of money. Just as bad. The anointing is gone. I've seen myself. In my younger days, I think of one or two people I saw mighty anointing. I see the same person 10 years later, 15 years later. 1:11:39 Not the same. More used, more proud. Anointing gone. It scared me. I tell you, it really scared me. And I saw this. I keep my eyes open. And I said, Lord, please save me from this calamity. Do whatever you like, but save me from this calamity. 1:12:01 For me, calamity is that God opposes you. Not financial. Those things are nothing. Sickness, nothing. But if God opposes you, what hope is there? But he is opposed to the proud. And the measure in which he opposes you depends on the measure of your pride. 1:12:24 More proud, he opposes you more. If you're a believer, if you're an unbeliever, look at all these proud politicians who say all types of bombastic things. God doesn't bother about them. Even those who call themselves Christians, they're not Christians. 1:12:42 Why does God ignore them? Because he says, they're not my children. God does not discipline. Do you punish other people's children? No. God doesn't punish other people's children. He leaves the devil's children alone. But when his own children are in danger, he does something. 1:13:03 And Hebrews chapter 12 says that if God does not discipline you, you're not his child. Every good father disciplines his children. One way is by giving us trials. In Psalm 66, it says. 1:13:31 Psalm 66, verse 8. Bless our God, O people. Sound his praises abroad. Because he keeps us in life. He does not allow us to sink into death. He does not allow our feet to slip. But how is that? He does it. Verse 10. Thou hast tried us, O God. 1:13:46 He refines us. Here's the answer of how God preserves us in life. Verse 9. He preserves us in life and does not allow us to slip. How? By refining us. Putting us in the fire. And refining us. This silver has got some alloys mixed in it. 1:13:52 He does not allow us to slip. He does not allow our feet to slip. He does not allow our feet to slip. But how is that? He does it. Verse 10. Thou hast tried us, O God. He refines us. Here's the answer of how God preserves us in life. 1:14:06 Verse 9. He preserves us in life and does not allow us to slip. How? By refining us, putting us in the fire. And refining. This silver has got some alloys mixed in it. We got to burn out the alloys. And I'm sure a lot of things got burnt out of Brother Parishita when he was put in the fire. 1:14:28 And he brought us into the net. As he said, he couldn't go where he wanted. He would want to go here, want to go there. But no, there's a net there. He has to stay at home because of needs at home, which his wife couldn't handle on 1:14:43 herself as a net. Some of you think you're more free. You can go here, you can go there. God put some of his greatest saints into a net. And, as if that is not enough, he lays a heavy burden upon them. 1:15:05 An oppressive burden. Is this God? It is God. An oppressive burden upon him. And, he allows men to ride over our heads. That means, men will come to us and say, 1:15:25 "What is this? You are serving God? Why do you have a child like this?" Men riding over our heads and trampling us down. Okay? Then he takes us through fire. Takes us out of the fire and puts us in the icy cold water. Takes us from the icy cold water, puts us back into the fire. 1:15:44 But at the end of it all, he brought us to a place of abundance. You want to get to the place of abundance? This is the root. I was looking at a concordance. I don't know Hebrew, but I was looking at a concordance which showed the Hebrew words and I saw something. 1:16:05 This place of abundance. This place of abundance is a Hebrew word called Revaya. It comes in the Bible in only two places. Very interesting. Here. Here it tells us how you come to this place of abundance. But this word Revaya is also translated in a very well-known Psalm 23, where there it is translated as Psalm 23 and verse 5. 1:16:35 My cup overflows. My cup runs over with blessing to thousands of other people. You anoint my head with oil and my cup overflows. 1:17:01 But between those two sentences, anoint my head with oil and my cup overflows, comes Psalm 66 verses 10 to 12. That should be inserted there. Revaya. My cup, Revaya. There, Lord, you brought me to this place of Revaya. See God's ways. 1:17:22 You understand now that, do you think if you were given the opportunity to plan Parasitam's life and to make him a great blessing, would you have ever thought of such a way? No. We would have made him a life comfortable and give him a good bank account. 1:17:37 God's ways are so different. So, one day, there's a song which I love to sing very often called, you know, when we stand up in glory. I will bless the hand that guided. 1:17:58 I will bless the heart, God's heart that planned my life. When throned where glory dwelleth in Emmanuel's land. I will bless the hand that guided my life. I will bless the heart that planned my life. When I stand with Jesus and look back over life and say, "Lord, you did all things well." 1:18:26 There's a song we sing which says, "And for the Lord, the Lord has done for us, we will praise him through eternity." And for what the Lord will do for us, we will praise him through eternity. And for what the Lord will do for us, we will praise him through eternity. 1:18:48 And above all the rest in eternity, this note shall swell. My Jesus has done all things well. Let's sing it. Let's sing it. And for what the Lord has done for us, we will praise him through eternity. 1:19:16 And for what the Lord will do for us, we will praise him through eternity. And above all the rest, this note shall swell, this note shall swell, this note shall swell, this note shall swell. 1:19:45 And above the rest, this note shall swell, this note shall swell, and above the rest, this note shall swell. My Jesus has done all things well. 1:20:07 Hallelujah. Let's pray. Thank you, Father, for speaking to us so clearly. Help us never to forget what you spoke to us in this session. Thank you for our dear brother and his wife, his family, that you honored us in CFC by making him a part of us. 1:20:33 He could have joined many other churches, but you honored us by making him a part of our family. Thank you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Okay, we'll have a break now for about... 1:21:03 Amen. Amen. Amen.
