0:13 Questions concerning family. These are written by many different people. I asked some of the elders also to write questions that could be the need of people. What about husbands who spend a lot of time with their work but don't help their wives and children 0:32 at home? What if a husband doesn't care for this? Well, a wife should first of all pray, number one. And then lovingly say to your husband, "See, it'll be a great help to me 0:53 if you can help me with some of the work and that we spend some time together so we continue to get to know each other and help the children." If you say it in a loving way instead of saying, "Why in the world don't you help 1:06 me?" That's not the way to talk. You know, whenever you want to win your husband, put your arm around him and say, "Darling, can I say something to you?" First make something good for for a meal first. And after that, you know, the way to a man's heart is 1:23 through the stomach. Have you heard that? So, try and reach his heart through his stomach first and then speak lovingly and say many things you can accomplish if you say lovingly. You got to Sometimes husbands don't think about it. 1:41 I've often said, "If you want to know how selfish you are, get married." And you'll discover how selfish you are, both husbands and wives. And once you have one child, you'll discover even more how selfish you have two children, you'll discover even more. 1:54 I'm telling you from my own experience. I discovered how selfish I am still discovering areas where I'm selfish. I need to cleanse myself. I'm not like Jesus. Jesus was the one who was 100% free from selfishness. If you think you're 100% free from 2:10 selfishness, you must be really arrogant to say that you've become like Christ. I want to tell you in Jesus' name, you are selfish. I know I am. But I'm discovering those layers of the onion that I'm peeling off little by little by 2:26 little. But it takes time. So, husbands and wives, please think about that. And you need to spend time together. And sometimes, you know, we allow children to go to bed very late. I think it's a foolish thing. I believe we should put our children to 2:44 bed early so that they get a good sleep before they go to school next day. And once they've gone to bed early, whichever time you decide, then it's it's a good time for a husband and wife, even if when you're lying in bed 2:57 or just sitting around, even for 15 minutes, just to talk together. You must spend that time, particularly if you've been work at work the whole day. Very, very important to spend a little time as husband and wife together. I 3:13 want to say that, please, dear brothers and sisters, make that a priority. And please put your children to bed early so that it's good for them and good for your relationship as husband and wife. I'm not making a law, but I'm making a very important 3:31 suggestion. Take time to talk to your husband and wife every day. And say it lovingly. Don't very often something is not accomplished because we don't say it lovingly. Do you know what is the number one thing 3:50 that women want from their husbands. It's love. More than anything else, they must be assured that you love them. And you must say that to them again and again. 4:08 Maybe a hundred times in a year. And do you know what is the most Sisters, married sisters, do you know what is the most important thing a man wants from a wife? It's not sex, believe me. It is respect. If you respect your husband, 4:30 and your husbands love your wife, you'll have a wonderful married life. The Bible says that in Ephesians 5, you read it. See to it that you respect your husband. Husbands, love your wives. I'm not telling you something which I 4:42 invented. It's written in Ephesians chapter 5. You read the last verse of Ephesians 5, see to it that you respect your husband. How many of you wives can honestly say that you respect your husband? How many of you husbands can say that 4:58 you're trying to love your wife? The wife needs love, the husband needs respect. That means you must speak to him respectfully. He may be wrong. Tell him he's wrong respectfully. Very, very important. That's how you build relationships. 5:17 So, to give you the scriptural base for that, let me read to you from Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5, husbands love your wives, verse 25. And the wife, see to it, see to it, verse 33, that you respect 5:36 your husband. Okay, you got it from scripture now. The Holy Spirit says it. Okay. Uh How What should be our relationship to people of stopped coming to CFC? Our relatives who have left CFC. What should be our attitude towards 5:54 them? Be friendly. I meet people who left CFC. I never once asked them to come back to CFC. Tell you believe me but for that matter I have never asked anybody to join CFC in my life. Not one of you sitting here can say I asked you to join this church. 6:10 Nobody in all the thousands of people in CFC churches can say brother Zach asked us to join this church. Never. I never ask a person to join our church. I say if you are yourself want to join if God leads you here come otherwise 6:22 don't come. Go and join whichever church you like. So but I see somebody left our church and gone somewhere. The only thing I'm ask him when I meet him is brother I hope you're following Jesus wherever you go. Go somewhere where you 6:35 really follow Jesus. I'm not interested in bringing him back to CFC. Not at all. CFC is not the only church that God has in in the world or in India or in Bangalore. There are many good churches. And some of those churches may be better 6:49 than some of our CFC churches. In fact when a brother if a brother is transferred from here to somewhere else and he goes to a CFC church and he finds it's not the leader there is not a spiritual man then also it's possible 7:01 and they not good spirit there or good atmosphere and he finds some other church where the pastor is a humble God-fearing man. Maybe a Baptist church or some other church like that. I would say to them brother don't go to the CFC church. Go to that other 7:16 Baptist church. Go where you can be more godly. Go where you can follow Jesus more. I'm not loyal to CFC. I'm loyal to Jesus Christ. And if a CFC church is not devoted to Christ I'm sorry. I'm not going to support it. No. 7:30 My loyalty is to Christ and Christ alone and as long as CFC church puts Christ first and his leaders are godly I will support it. Not otherwise. So don't think that if people have gone to some other church, they've gone astray 7:43 or gone become worldly or anything. Um Okay, another question somebody asked was Brother Zach, you once said about Gehazi that because he 8:01 went after Naaman's money, leprosy came to him and to his children. And uh supposing a case where the man is like that, but the wife is God-fearing. Will the children be affected? The answer is no, the children will not be 8:15 affected. And there's a verse for that in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 which says like this, 1 Corinthians 7. Uh A woman was 13. A woman who has an unbelieving husband. If he agrees to live with her, she must 8:36 not send her husband away because verse 14, the unbelieving husband, the unbeliever husband, is sanctified, set apart because of his wife being a godly woman. And the unbelieving wife is set apart and sanctified because her husband is a 8:51 believer. And then the children are also set apart because one person in a home is God-fearing. You don't need both. It's an amazing verse in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 14. Well, the word sanctified and all that means set apart. Your children are 9:10 protected from the world, that's what it means. Not that they are born again, but they are protected from the world because one person in that home is born again. So, don't worry if your partner is ungodly. You can still bring up your 9:25 children in a godly way. Timothy's mother, Timothy's father was, as far as we know, an ungodly businessman who had no interest in spiritual things. And she brought up her son to be an apostle. Can you believe that? Amazing. 9:38 Amazing woman she was. Okay, as parents how can we protect our teen children from the influence of their friends? By being friendly with your children, that's the way. If mother and daughter are friendly, she won't be so attracted to other 9:53 girls. It's because we we must talk at their level. Don't you know, let them be honest with you if they are attracted to some boy or girl in their class. There's nothing wrong in that. Ask them. Are you attracted to some girl in your 10:11 class? And he says, "Yes, so-and-so." You don't say, "Don't tell me you're attracted to that girl." Don't say that. That's a wrong way to react. They say, you know what you must say? Who's that girl? So-and-so. Show me that girl next time I 10:29 we go go to school. And parents day or something. They'll they'll be friendly with you. Now you can then give your advice, they'll listen to you. As if you had no attraction to the opposite sex when you were young. Don't 10:46 treat your children in a way just because you're 60 years old and that girl is 16, you expect her to be like you? I think it's absolutely natural for a boy and a girl to be attracted to each other. But it has to be controlled, that's the 11:02 thing. So, we must be wise. Not tell them what they have is wrong. And if we if they if parents see children see that their parents are absolutely honest with them and talk to them at their level, there's more possibility of being able 11:16 to protect them from bad influences. Anyway, that's how we did it, my wife and I. My wife more than me. Uh the other is what if a husband frequently invites his relatives and in-laws and all to come home. 11:35 There must be a certain amount of balance here. I'm not saying that we should never invite your in-laws or your father-in-law, mother-in-law to come home. But don't make it very difficult, especially for your wife. If you find your mother is a very 11:52 dominating type of woman, and a lot of Indian mothers are dominating towards their daughter-in-law. Many I'm sorry to say, many women are like that. They don't know how to They don't know their boundaries. Now, my wife is a mother-in-law to four 12:11 girls. And I'll tell you, we They've been Some of them have married for 14 years. Um she's had a wonderful relationship with every single one of them. They love to have us there because we don't interfere in the way they run 12:25 their home. We don't tell them how to bring up their children. We already had our turn when we had children. Now, it is their turn. Let them bring up their children. We don't tell them what programs their children should watch or what they should do or 12:37 what they shouldn't do. We don't tell them how what to cook or what not to cook or how to run their kitchen. My wife just goes there and says, "What In what way can I help you?" And if the way they do certain things in a certain way in their house, my wife 12:51 does it exactly the same way. And if they want their children to do it in a certain way, we we do it exactly the same way with our grandchildren. So, never a conflict. Never a conflict in 14 years. And I don't believe there'll be a conflict if we continue 13:06 another 25 years. There will not be. Because we know our boundaries. We're not trying to control somebody else. They're grown up and they've got their own home. But I find a lot of not only Indian, even a lot of Western and Indian 13:21 mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law and mothers-in-law, they sort of controlling. It's evil. You come In the new covenant, we should be able to prove that mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship can be perfect. But what if your mother-in-law 13:35 is not converted? Obviously, she doesn't know. Then you as a husband must not impose such people on your home too frequently and make life miserable for your wife and miserable for your own relationship. So that doesn't mean you can't have 13:50 them, but be restrained and restrict them. The husband must tell his parents, "Don't be a coward." A lot of men are not men. The Bible There's a verse in 1 Corinthians 15 which says, "Be a man." Have you read that verse? Be like a man. 14:05 Don't be a woman. Some men are like women. And I'll tell you that that when it comes to talking to their parents, they don't tell them straight. Lovingly, "Dad, Mom, see, please be a little restrained in all the advice you 14:21 give to my wife because it's creating problems here. Okay, we respect you. We love you, but we want you we want to have a good relationship in this home. So can you please uh maybe you did it differently in your home, but this is our home. We do things 14:36 differently. Please allow us to do something differently." Say it respectfully, but speak on behalf of your wife to your parents or speak on behalf of your husband to your parents not to interfere in your family life. He said 14:53 That's what you should do. Okay. Um if you find your son or daughter is in a wrong relationship, draw them away by speaking to them. Pray for them. That's the main thing. What if my children don't have an interest to come to church? 15:10 Well, that may be because you never you were not insisting on taking them from the time they were 1 year old. If you start try to instill some value into them when they're 13 years old, you've lost the battle. From childhood, you must bring them to 15:26 the church meeting. Um yeah, sometimes they say, "I've got an important examination tomorrow." Okay. I used to tell my children, "Okay, one meeting a week you can come to. Sunday morning. Come for the Sunday morning meeting. You don't have to come 15:44 for the Wednesday meeting if you got exams and other things to study." So, I but I said, "God will honor you." I'll tell you that. You're not going to lose out and miss out on your exam. Sit down late on Saturday and study. 15:57 Or come back from the church meeting early and sit down in the rest of Sunday and study. But you don't have to miss 2 hours on Sunday just to say I've got an exam tomorrow." I never never allowed my children to do that and I don't regret it. And they did 16:10 not fail in any exam because they came to a Sunday morning meeting. You cannot do it. You cannot honor God and God doesn't honor you. So, we got to teach our children to honor God from early on in life. Um what how for This is a question concerning husbands 16:26 who are away from home and working in other places like Dubai and all these places and wives are alone very often at home. This is an unfortunate situation in our world today. Well, then you have to be a much more um involved husband when you do come home 16:44 and you got to talk to your wife every day by the phone or something like that and provide for all her needs and ask God for wisdom how to do it. Or even if you are away for a short time from home, make every provision for it. 17:02 What about if my husband has died and I'm single mother? My children don't learn to respect me. You have to You have to pray for them. If they're grown up, there's not anything much you can do. But you must pray for them and tell them 17:16 firmly and there you can go to the elders, you know, a widow must have a male head over her for her protection. That is the meaning of a woman covering her head. I'm under a man's authority. So, I a woman of course got her husband. 17:35 A young girl has got her father. What about a widow? She must have some elder brother who can be like a covering for her and when you have that be equally good friends, be good friends with that elder brother's wife. Don't try to get so friendly with the 17:55 elder brother but not friendly with his wife. That can create problems. I'm just telling you some practical advice. But you you need that protection and you should probably ask an elder to come and speak to your son who's disobedient. 18:14 There was a question concerning whether we should when if our relatives are unconverted whether we should ask the church to pray for them. I'd say no. The church has got enough things to pray for than for all the unconverted 18:28 relatives of all the 500 people sitting here. You must pray for your unconverted relatives. You're the only one who's likely to have a burden for them. Very often people say I'm pray for so-and-so without any burden. You pray 18:39 for something without a burden is like a parrot praying. A parrot repeating something, worthless. Prayer has got no value if you don't have a burden. So, it's pointless asking people to pray for someone they don't have any burden 18:52 for. So, I wouldn't even waste my time asking for that. See, and the other thing is in our church we've become so large that it's difficult to get to know everybody. And so, some people have fellowship only with some. Is anything wrong with that? There's 19:08 nothing wrong with it. Jesus had fellowship with three people. Peter, James, and John more than with the others. I'll tell you honestly, I have fellowship with very few in this church. Many people I don't even know their names. 19:23 It's impossible. I'm a human being. And of course, in my case, I have connection in 11 countries where we have CFC. I have to fellowship with them. But even the elders who are here, it's impossible for them to have fellowship 19:38 with everyone equally. But the more wholehearted you are, the more radical, the more willing you are to serve in the church and do something, they will get to know you more and actually you'll have more fellowship with them. 19:50 If you're the type of person who volunteers to come and clean the toilets and do something here on Saturday evenings, naturally such people will have more fellowship together. And you're the lazy person sitting at home watching TV or something, I'm not 20:04 surprised nobody wants to have fellowship with you. I'm not at all surprised. In fact, they should not have fellowship with you. What will you tell them about? What you watched on TV? No. So, it's perfectly right for those 20:15 who are really wholehearted and those who want to pray together, those who want to serve together in the church will have more fellowship and the others, they can do what they like. Not everybody who's sitting comes to CFC 20:25 regularly is going to go into God's kingdom. Because Jesus said that if my sheep hear my voice and they follow me, I give them eternal life. It's possible people sitting here don't follow him and they don't have eternal 20:36 life. That's the plain truth. Uh what should be my attitude if I use the the services of a brother in the church for some work to be done in my home for carpentry work or construction work. Now, I've had to do that with different 20:55 brothers in the church in these areas and I've always told them one thing, please put my uh request last in your list. I don't want to be a priority. Finish all your other work and when you finish your work, when you have time, you can do this for me and I 21:14 want to pay you exactly what you charge other people. I don't want to take any advantage of you. I would tell them that. I wouldn't hope, oh, because I'm a brother, I hope he'll reduce things for me. That's up to him, but I'm not going 21:26 to ask for that and I'm not even going to expect that. In fact, I'm going to specifically tell him, "Please charge me your commission." Do you do that when you ask a brother to do something for you? You tell him, "Brother, what is your commission you 21:39 charge other people?" "Please, you're my brother. Why should I cheat you?" Please, I don't know, many of you have got other people to do work for you. I want to ask you whether you told them that. Otherwise, you're covetous. 21:52 You're a covetous person. You worship money. You want to swindle that poor brother of some percentage because you want to make that money, keep that money yourself. That's what creates problems. But if you are uh you know, 22:09 upright in that area, people will be glad to work for you. They'll come to you and say, "Got any more work for me?" That's the type of relationship you should have in the church. Never never take advantage of a person. If somebody does a work for you, you 22:24 must pay him because there's a word in scripture that Jesus said, "The laborer is worthy of his hire." Have you read that verse? Let me show it to you. If you don't know it, it's a word that Jesus said. Uh in Matthew's gospel 22:43 and he said it in another connection, but the principle remains the same. In Matthew chapter 10, he said about in verse 10, last part, "The worker is worthy of his support." And Paul quotes that in 1 Corinthians 23:02 9:14. He says the Lord said it. The laborer is worthy of his salary. So if somebody works for you, you must pay him. Whatever job he does, you don't take advantage of him. In fact, it says in 1 Timothy in chapter 5 that 23:22 um sorry, chapter 6 verse 2. 1 Timothy 6:2. If you have a believer as your master and you're working for somebody, you must do it even more for him, not less. So there we must not take advantage of a believer in that relationship. 23:42 If I see a brother or sister struggling financially, what should I do? Best thing, if it's a small amount you feel you should give him, give it to him, but please don't give it to him personally. Because you have treated him like a 23:58 beggar. You have lowered his dignity. I would never do it. I mean, if he's worked for you, by all means give him a gift. Otherwise, if you have a very good relationship with him, then it's okay. If you have a relationship with the 24:15 Jesus had with James, Peter, and John, Jesus could give them money and they would take it and I would gladly give money with those to whom I have a very close relationship freely. But if you don't have a close relationship with a person and you see a 24:29 person struggling in poverty, you go and give him money to help him in his poverty, he will think, oh, this person gave and there'll be an unnatural relationship there. Then the best thing if you see some poor brother or sister, the best thing is 24:45 put it in an envelope with his name or and put it in the offering box. But even better than that would be to go to the elders and say, here is a person I'm talking about financial need. I'm not talking about gifts. For example, you want to give a 25:00 gift to somebody. That's That's different. You can give a gift even to a rich person. There's nothing wrong in that. That you give birthday gifts or any other type of gift just out of friendship. There's a gift of friendship, which is different 25:13 from gifts given to someone because of poverty. Now, what I'm saying has got nothing to do with gifts of friendship. That you can give to anybody anytime freely. But, gifts to help people in their poverty, that's different. There we have to not 25:29 take away the dignity of that poor brother. He knows he's poor. And he doesn't want to be treated like a beggar. So, to protect his dignity, we must do it in a dignified way. And you could go to the elders and say, "Brother, I think this person is This 25:44 family is struggling. Do you think we could help him?" And it's much better that the church gives that person something. Or you could give it to the elders and say, "If you think that that person could be given some money, give it." I'll tell you why. 25:57 Because I've seen in the past that many people who are very, very poor, they tend to make their needs known. And those who cry the loudest get more money. And others who are more dignified and say, "No, I won't tell 26:15 anybody." They don't get anything. But, the elders will know who is needy. So, if you give it to the elders, he'll make sure that the needy person gets it. And then those who not so needy don't get so much. So, it's always wise to give to the elders. It 26:28 says in Acts chapter 4 that the early disciples gave the money to the apostles. And they distributed according to the need. That is, they were humble enough to say, "We don't have wisdom which person has more need and which person has less." So, they 26:43 humbled themselves and gave it to the apostles. You read that in Acts chapter 4. So, that is my recommendation always. Okay, another question is concerning is it right to tell a facilitator in a weekday meeting or anyone who preaches in in the church 27:02 that the meeting is heavy not edifying or it's just condemning me or making me feel discouraged. You know, you could always write a note. If there's no suggestion box, put it in the offering box. Address it to one of 27:21 the elders. Brother, could you please I think it's boring. Whenever this speaks person speaks is boring. Now, if you write your name, they're more likely to take it seriously. If you don't write your name, they may think this is just some visitor who's a 27:39 critic and they'll probably throw it in the trash can. I never care for anonymous letters. Anonymous letters I throw in the trash can. But if a person writes their name, I'd say, "Hey." Particularly on a matter like this, 27:53 it is true. Some people message is boring. I've heard many people tell me from other churches this this boring, brother. I don't get anything out of it. Then at least I can tell them, "Brother, if you're boring, speak for 5 minutes. 28:06 Don't speak longer than that. Cuz sometimes people don't know. They think got high thoughts about themselves. There's nothing wrong in making it clear to one of the elders whom you have confidence in. They say this this is 28:19 um heavy. We're not getting particularly in the weekday meetings. I don't know how it's going in the different weekday fellowships. If the whole meeting is boring, I think you should definitely tell the elders about it. 28:30 So that they can know and do something about it or make some other person the facilitator in that meeting. By keeping quiet, you're not blessing the body of Christ. Somebody must be bold enough to express it. Go to one of the elders. They're not 28:45 going to eat you up. They will not get upset with you. Okay. That is not an unspiritual thing. It's a very important thing. See, if a husband and wife have a good relationship, really good relationship, would a husband be afraid to tell his 29:01 wife, you know, this something wrong with the food today. Is it spoiled? Is it old? What's wrong in saying that? Or this meat is spoiled. Or there was not enough salt today. Now, if you don't have a good relationship with your wife, don't say 29:18 such things. I don't want to create further problems. But if you have a good relationship, what do you And I'm sure I think all of you can be free to tell the elders that. Sure. Now, the question is what does it mean to hear by faith? 29:32 To hear by faith means you don't just listen to Brother Zac. You try to listen to God speaking through anyone who's speaking here. Lord, what are you saying to me? That's where faith comes by hearing the word of Christ. 29:44 The word of Christ may come through a man, but you must go beyond the man, even go beyond the Bible, to Jesus. To You read what Paul has written there, but beyond that I go to the Holy Spirit telling me something. That's how I have faith. And you must 29:59 pray for that. Is it possible for one who's been baptized in the Holy Spirit to become legalistic? Sure. Legalism means going according to the letter. For example, do you know that Rahab told a lie when she hid the Israelite spies? 30:18 You read in the book of Joshua. And uh they read the first two chapters there. And she hid the spies. And when the people of Jericho came, uh she said, "Oh, they went out that way." It was a lie. But she did it with a good motive to 30:37 protect those people from being killed. And there are godly men, if you read this book called The Hiding Place, you'll find the father of Corrie ten Boom hid the Jews when the Germans wanted to come and kill them. Hid them 30:50 in the house and he said, "No, they're not here." So, if you read in James chapter 2 and Hebrews chapter 11, you find Rahab is commended, appreciated by God for protecting the spies. You see, does God appreciate a 31:09 lie? I learned something from that. Like it says in 1 Corinthians 4:5, God will finally judge the motive with which you say something. Now, if you say, "Ah, it's exactly the message I was waiting for. Now I can tell lies 31:27 in different situations." You can do that and you will be judged in the final day because a lie is the first sin mentioned in the Bible. Satan told a lie. In Revelation 22, lie is the last sin mentioned in the Bible. Remember this. The first and last 31:41 sin mentioned in the Bible is lying. So, lying is a very serious sin. But, when the motive is to protect someone or some very good motive that God sees, you'll find that's where a person can be legalistic. It's an example 31:59 of legalism where you judge someone for something. Hey, you didn't Your sister, you didn't cover your head fully. You covered it only up to here. That's legalism. Or why you wearing ornaments? Hey, she didn't buy it with your money. 32:12 Why are you worried? So, things like this, you know, you can be very legalistic. I've I've met a lot of very godly women who wear jewelry and I met a lot of ungodly women who don't wear jewelry. So, I'm not saying my wife and I have 32:29 never worn any jewelry anytime. We don't believe in that, but that's a personal conviction. But, we don't judge other people who do. You know, if you feel that that's the way it should be, that's fine. But we believe that's the standard of 32:41 scripture for us. But each person must go by their own conviction. So these are little areas where we can be legalistic. There are many many things like the way you take the letter of the law and even if you're baptized in the Holy 32:52 Spirit, you can be like that because you're not listening to the Holy Spirit. You know, if you're once filled with the Holy Spirit, it doesn't mean you're filled forever. You can leak. Uh if my roommate is a brother in the church and I see that 33:06 there's something wrong in his uh in his life, should I speak to him? I think you should speak to the elders about it. You can speak to him if you have a good relationship, otherwise you should certainly speak to the elders. 33:20 Is it okay to marry somebody from another church? Uh if so, how should I go about the matter? If the person is born again, the only condition is you must marry believers. I don't say many people here have married from non-CFC churches. If 33:33 they're born again believers, some of them may be better than some sisters in CFC churches or some brothers in CFC churches. So we've never insisted that you must marry from a CFC church. Make sure the view is your spiritual view is identical. 33:51 And uh there's more likelihood of that if it's from a CFC church, but not necessarily. There are some very fine godly men and women in other churches. So but um make sure that you make some inquiry concerning the type of person he or she 34:09 is so that you don't land up in a problem and you must decide also where you finally which church you're going to go to. And you must find out what type of church that is so that if you're going to go permanently for the rest of your life to 34:23 that church, find out beforehand do you want to be in that type of church for the rest of your life? Cuz I tell you some churches I would rather sit at home go then go to some churches called churches. I can get a lot more sitting at home 34:37 listening to some message on YouTube than going to some of these dead churches or some churches that are only interested in your money. So, make sure you find out before you marry that but but um CFC elders will not uh hinder you from doing that. 34:54 But when you're marrying somebody from another church, you cannot force the elders to conduct the marriage in CFC. No. You have to give them freedom to say, "Go ahead and get married in that church." I mean, they may agree to it if 35:09 conditions are different, but usually if a person is going to join that church, I would say get married in that church. And don't get married here and go to that church. Uh how can I as a as a woman protect myself from the opposite sex in my workplace 35:27 and place of work? You have to first of all dress in a very modest way. If you dress like the other people in a very tempting way, then don't blame anybody but yourself if some man is attracted because of your tight-fitting clothes or you expose so 35:44 much of your flesh, blame yourself. But if you're dressed in a modest way completely different from the way all the other women are dressed in your school or college or hospital or place of work, they will automatically see that you are 35:58 different. You know, there are some Now, I'm not saying that you should do this. There are some There's a group Christian group in America where the women wear the head head covering 24 hours. All the time. The head covered because they feel that 36:14 that's what a woman should do. And such people when they go to work, no no man goes anywhere near them. They say, "This is some crazy woman. I don't want to uh go anywhere near her." Now, I'm not saying you should do that, but 36:24 what I'm trying to say is the principle. The principle is they say, this person is a little more modest, doesn't like too much of uh friendliness with boys. You're protected automatically. Your dress can protect you. So, don't be afraid to be different. 36:39 You'll be protected. I'll tell you that. Uh that man will see that you're not the type of person who likes to flirt with anyone. And if someone tries to be too friendly with you, and be courteous, but don't be too friendly. See, a lot of 36:53 joking between hus- between men and women is what leads to sin. You you must be a little restrained as a as a girl. And as a man also, don't go joking with the women in your office. I always ask you this this question to men. 37:11 Supposing when you're joking with this woman in your office, your wife walks in. Will you continue joking? Then you're okay. But you suddenly stop. Uh then you know that you're doing something wrong. So, ask yourself that question. 37:25 Will I joke with her if my wife is here? Then do it. There's nothing wrong in joking, but sometimes this joking can lead to a unholy familiarity between men and women. In marriage, how should I take help from the elders? Ask for their advice, and 37:45 they'll be glad to help you. Galatians 6:6 says that the one who is taught the word of God must share all material things with the one who teaches him. What says there is that if somebody has 38:02 blessed you spiritually, you must bless him financially. Now, I believe that's a principle which we Jesus himself received gifts from people who he preached to, and he he had no objection. You read that in Luke 8:3. But 38:19 Paul Paul never took it because he wanted to be a testimony and that is why our elders do not take money. I mean, if you are blessed by them, I tell people the greatest I don't need money. To tell you quite honestly, there was a time when my wife and I were 38:36 very, very poor. But because of the investments that my dad left for me, I've been able to support myself through the years and they they've done so well that we are well off today. 38:55 We're not in any financial need. So, almost all our elders are like that. So, they don't need money. So, you don't have to go and uh give them money. You know, none of us need it. But what you can do, what I tell people 39:12 is if God brings my name or to your mind sometime, pray for me and my wife that we will have the anointing of the Holy Spirit and that we'll be healthy as we travel around to different places in the world. That is the greatest thing 39:24 you can do for us. That's the way you can reward us. Not financially. If people are blaming me in my place of work, what should I do? Well, ask God to protect you, but preserve you in that job and if there's something which they accuse 39:44 you of doing something which is wrong, you've got every right to go and tell the authorities and the management, I didn't do that. But if everybody is just being evil of you, just love them, bless them and show them by your life 39:57 that you're unaffected. Sometimes you can pray, "Lord, help me to do some good to that person." The Bible says, "Do good to those who do evil to you." So, isn't it a good prayer to pray, "Lord, that person has done some evil to 40:08 me. Please give me some opportunity to help him in some way or do some good to him so that he knows that I've got nothing against him." That's a good prayer to pray. Okay. How to experience the freshness of the Holy Spirit every day by keeping a 40:21 good conscience. And every opportunity to humble yourself, you humble yourself. My If my parents are non-Christians and they think I don't love them. The truth is I do love them, but they don't think so. Uh what shall I do? 40:39 Well, or some family members are How do I do this in situations where they are What do I do when I visit them, etc. I think you need wisdom. You must ask ultimately you must ask God. Lord, please help them to see that Jesus 40:58 Christ has changed my life. Help them to see I'm loving, I'm humble. Never argue with them. Never try to force them to believe what you believe. Let your life shine like a light. That is the best way to witness to unconverted 41:15 relatives. I've heard that I should be my brother's keeper, but sometimes I've gone and told him directly what was wrong with him and that sort of backfired. You need wisdom. And you've probably heard me say that if you have never appreciated a 41:31 brother ever, don't correct him. Appreciation must be the blackboard on which you write in chalk the correction. If you don't have the blackboard, you'll be writing in the air. It doesn't accomplish anything. So, before you try to correct someone, 41:51 ask yourself two things. Have I ever said anything good about him to him? Uh or you find nothing good in him, then something's wrong with you. There is something good in almost everybody. So, if you correct if you found something 42:07 good in him, he's more likely to listen to you when you correct him. And if you also are praying for him, that's the second thing. If people bear tell false stories about us, what should you do? Just forgive them and leave it 42:22 in God's hands. I mean I've heard hundreds of stories about me which people have said right from the time CFC started. I just ignore it. I live before God's face. How to teach our children to pray and trust in the Lord? Primarily by your 42:40 life. If children see that dad and mom are God-fearing and they take time to pray and read the Bible that will speak to them more than you're telling them. I remember one of my sons telling me about a year ago Dad, there's one thing I can never 42:59 forget when I was a little boy I'd get up my bed and I was a small child, get up from my bed and I'd come to the sitting room and I'd see you sitting there with the Bible. That every day and that image has never gone out of my mind. 43:15 All your preaching cannot, you know, be greater than images that are in the minds of your children of what they have seen you do or they see how you talk to your to their mother or their father, how you talk to each other as husband and wife. 43:33 That's the greatest way. What if I'm not earning enough? Can I still consider marriage? You should need to definitely be able to support a family before you consider marriage and ask God for that and if necessary consult the 43:50 elders as to what you should do. But you should not you know, fool a girl saying that you can take care of her if you're not able to do. What if my parents are poor and I cannot afford to rent a house? Should I still leave them? See, leaving the parents is 44:09 not primarily physical. It It's more a emotional detachment. You can live in the same home and still not let your parents control your you and your wife. I mean, if you have another room in your house, you and your wife in 44:23 that house you and your wife can still decide things together. Maybe you're living with your parents because you're so poor and you going to cannot afford rent. Okay, but I would say if you can afford a rent even a small house, it's better 44:36 to stay separately. It's always the best. But some people can't even afford that. That's fine. God understands that. And many of our poor people in the villages like that. Uh then just make sure that you and your wife make decisions together. 44:53 You don't have to leave, but don't stay there just because your parents say, "Oh, you must stay here." A lot of parents in India will say, "You must stay here." Not good advice. I would say even if you can afford a small house on rent, stay separately. 45:10 How can I know the gift God's given me? You exercise whatever like for example, I told you to distribute this book. You start witnessing like that. God will show you other gifts. I know what I used to do. I didn't have much money to buy books to 45:22 give. I had tracts. I used to buy tracts. And I used to give them out to people who That's how God led me to something more and something more something more. You know, when God sees that you're willing to do a little thing for him. 45:34 And I remember when I was in many churches, I would just in the conferences and all I'd say, "I volunteer to distribute the food." So, they'd all be sitting on the floor. I'd take a bucket of sambar and pour it out and help in serving or cleaning the 45:49 toilets. That's what I did. That's how I started serving the Lord. So, if you do small things, God will show you something more and something more and something more. He doesn't suddenly put you into this great ministry. Many people want that 46:01 great ministry first. There are many people sitting here, for example. You may like the clean jobs, like singing in the choir or doing something with electronics, but never once do you go clean the toilets. Why can't you do that? 46:17 You may be a very technical person. Can't technical people clean the toilets? So, if you start with the small things, God will lead you to something higher. But if you're not willing to do the small things, I believe all your life 46:31 God will never lead you into a ministry he planned for you when you were born, but you never come to it because you're we're always looking for the big things. Uh regarding birthday gifts, is it okay to receive gifts from 46:45 people in the church? Sure. There's nothing wrong in receiving a birthday gift even if you're the richest man in the world. By all means, if somebody comes to give you a birthday gift, don't insult him by not taking it. 46:57 Sometimes that can be an insult, you know. Kings and all will refuse to receive cheap gifts from somebody. I've been in some villages where some poor lady will come and give me some money, maybe 20 rupees, 30 rupees. I always take it. 47:14 Always, always, always. So that that lady doesn't feel, "Oh, it's not enough money to give some preacher like brother Zac." I say, "Thank you so much." And I say, "God bless you." And then when she's not looking, I put it in the offering box. I'm not going to 47:32 touch a poor person's money because I don't have a need. Why should I take it? But don't insult that person. Sometimes you insult a person by not receiving a gift. What does it mean that Jesus will baptize you in the Holy Spirit and fire? 47:45 What is the fire? The fire is a picture of the Holy Spirit. Just like water is a picture of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said to Nicodemus, you must be born of water and the Holy Spirit because water is a sort of external cleansing. Baptism in fire 47:58 is internal cleansing. You know, when they when coal are gold fields, when they pull the gold from the 10,000 ft below the ground, it's first covered with mud. They wash it all off with water, and then they have to put it in the fire to 48:11 purify all the other things which are not gold. That's how they get the gold. Water cleansing first, and then fire. So, born of water and baptized in fire. Okay. Someone has asked about John Piper's teaching that God is most glorified when 48:28 I'm most satisfied in him. I think that's absolutely right. When I'm absolutely satisfied with God and say, "Lord, whom have I on earth but the nothing on in heaven but the and there's nothing on earth I decided beside thee." That is a true worshiper. 48:44 You're satisfied with God himself. You don't need anything else about him. That is a right attitude to have in our Christian life, and from that flows all our service. Should I take care of my if I'm a married man, should I take care 49:01 of my relatives if they are well off? Um even if my parents say take care of them. Well, I would say that you must recognize that your money is God's, and if your relatives are well off, you don't have to support them, even if 49:17 your parents say. What you earn is for your own family, for your wife and your children. That is That is the way God has ordained it. But, if someone is poor and needy, then you can consider and always good, you know, if you have a good 49:32 relationship with your wife, it's pray about it and This is a question that comes up very often. What if uh my relatives are in some other church, can I visit them? Or my parents go to another church, can I visit them? Sure, 49:48 you should be I told you that you must honor your parents. Those things are understood. See, just going to another church doesn't mean they are heathen. I mean, if they are Hindus, I would go and visit them. Sure. Otherwise, you will become a cult. 50:03 If you say, "Oh, they don't go there. Oh, they've been put out of the church. You can't go and visit them." No, that These are two different things. They There was a There may be somebody's disciplined. And if you're a relative, now, other 50:18 believers may not need may not need to go there and visit such people, but you If you're a son or a daughter, of course, you must see them. But, other relatives, it says in 1 Corinthians chapter 5 that we probably would Somebody's 50:35 disciplined, it's better to avoid meeting them. That is That's my advice. But, if you're a relative, you're a son or a daughter, you must definitely It's different because you have another relationship with them. Other believers have only a spiritual 50:48 relationship with that person who's put out of the church, but you also have a physical relationship. And that physical relationship is not worth zero. It has some value. So, you must respect your parents. But, others who have only a spiritual 51:01 relationship, if somebody's disciplined in the church, I would avoid meeting them till they have repented and come back. He who has ears to hear can hear. Those who think that they know God better, you can do what you like. 51:16 Yeah, there are a number of questions about how in-laws interfere. Please preserve your marriage relationship with your wife. And don't let ever your parents interfere in that. Can we attend marriages and functions of relatives who 51:30 are from non-Christian background? I never go to a temple or a mosque or churches which don't preach the new birth for a marriage. But, I would go to the reception. I would go to the reception. I even for my own brother's wedding 51:50 because he was not a believer marrying an unbeliever. I said, "If you have it in a court, I'll come support you, but if you're having it in a church, I'm sorry. I cannot support you, but I did everything for the reception. 52:03 I said, "I'll So, I'll go for a reception, but not for the religious function." But, I would say one thing, you know, if people have left the church and you do meet them, don't talk about CFC matters there. That's where you can fall into sin. 52:19 Some questions I've got don't have any practical relationship to today's You know, you can have theoretical questions about the Bible which are unimportant. Ask yourself whenever you ask a question, is this something that's going to help me today 52:39 in my daily life? Those are the only things. Uh What about should a sister cover her head at home and sing song sessions and all? See, it's What is written about head covering is primarily for church meetings. So, if something is a church meeting, 52:56 you think it's a church meeting, you can do it. Or in prayer, but it's not a law that you have to For example, you're having You're eating food around the table and you pray. It's not a law that a sister must cover her head when she gives thanks for the 53:10 food. There are some questions which are asked by people who are not members of the church, but marital questions and about divorce and all. If you're not a member of the church, we do not accept any responsibility to give you advice. 53:29 Elders will not take that responsibility because it's in marriage matters. Uh because it's too important a matter. It's those who are committed to the church, whom we can So, those who are not committed I mean, we can give 53:43 general advice, but we can't spend too much time with it. Regarding the leading of the Holy Spirit, see, I think I need to tell you one thing. A lot of people are confused between receiving the Holy Spirit and being filled with the Holy 53:56 Spirit. I've said this before. Romans 8:9 says, "If you don't have the Spirit of Christ, you're not even born again." When you ask Jesus to come into your heart, it is the Holy Spirit who comes in. Jesus is in heaven. The Spirit of Christ, Romans 8:9, comes 54:13 into your heart. You have received the Holy Spirit. In the early days, they used to say, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, receive the Holy Spirit." If you read the Bible, nowhere does anybody say to someone, "Accept Jesus into your heart." Not even 54:25 once. "Ask Jesus to come into your heart." That verse is not in the Bible. Why do we say it today? They used to say, "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, receive the Spirit." Now, the thing is, we live in a country where there are all types of spirits. You go 54:40 to a Hindu man and tell him to receive a spirit. What spirit? So, that's why I combine the two statements, "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, receive the Holy Spirit." I say, "Receive the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart." 54:52 It's just the same thing, really. I'm combining two statements. And what what does he receive? The Holy Spirit. If he's really born again, the Holy Spirit came comes in. I asked Jesus to come to my heart many times. I never knew whether he came or 55:06 not, till one day in when I was 19 and 1/2, I read John 6:37, "Him that comes to me, I'll never cast out." And I believed. That's when faith came. And I believed Christ has come in. Who came in? The Holy Spirit. I didn't know the theology of it, but I 55:23 received the Spirit that day. But I wanted to be filled with the Holy Spirit. That was more. I'll prove that to you from Scripture. Turn with me to John chapter 20. In John's Gospel chapter 20, on the day of the resurrection, 55:40 Jesus did something. The last time Jesus did that was when he did it for Adam. You know that Jesus did something for Adam in Genesis chapter 1? When he says God breathed on Adam, that is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus 55:53 was there breathing on Adam, and Adam became a living soul. And now in John chapter 20, after the resurrection, he came to his disciples and it says in verse 22, John 20:22, he breathed on them. This is the second time. 56:11 First was in Genesis chapter 1 and 2. He breathed on Adam, that is the old creation. Now he's breathing on these people, there's a new creation. And receive the Holy Spirit. Do you believe they received the Holy Spirit there? Sure. 56:27 When God breathed on Adam, he became a living soul. When he breathed on them and said receive the Holy Spirit, they received the Holy Spirit. But then he told them, "Now wait until you're filled with the Holy Spirit." That happened on 56:38 the day of Pentecost. Which was 40 days later. So, there's a difference between being born again, being filled with the Holy Spirit, and being filled with born again is once, but being filled with the Holy Spirit is again and again and again. 56:54 This matter of being committed to break bread, how can you decide whether someone is committed? Well, I'll tell you what. When people came to John the Baptist to take baptism, he said, "Let me see some fruit in your life. 57:07 Fruit of repentance, then I will baptize you." We are following the same principle. Let me see some fruit in your life that you're really born again, then we'll ask you to break bread. Will we make a mistake? Sure. We may make a mistake with some people. 57:23 We think they are born again, they are not. But that's the reason why we ask for commitment. We must see some fruit. By their fruits, you shall know them, Jesus said. So, we look for the fruit so that we don't allow any Tom, Dick, and Harry 57:40 to uh just come and break bread. What about boys and girls being a young men and women being in a relationship? I don't know if this word relationship has got many meanings. Relationship can also mean that they sleep together. 57:58 And if that's what you mean, what's wrong in it? There's everything wrong in it. Is it Is it right to be in a relationship? So, it depends what you mean by that word. That uh we have to be we have to keep a respectable distance. 58:13 There must be avoid physical contact before marriage. And uh don't be in provocative situations. If you go out late in the evening or at night, you can be tempted. And I would say consult the elders about anyone whom you 58:32 are considering for marriage because they may know things about that other person that person which you don't know. If I'm getting married and the girl's parents want to give something, I would say let the girl's parents no dowry. We 58:48 don't believe in dowry if but you can't deny a girl's father from wanting to give. I say put it in her account in her name. By all means, put 100 lakhs if you like, but in her account in her name. Not in your name or your father's name. 59:06 And if they want to give you something, let them give it to you after you get married. Not before. That'll test your own covetousness as well. What about sharing marriage expenses 50/50? That is ideal. But if you feel the other partner's 59:25 parents are very poor, you can lower it down and say uh pay as much as you like. Depends on if you know, if sometimes someone from a rich family is marrying someone from a poor family, we must be considerate. Or if one person is inviting 500 59:42 uh visitors and the other person inviting 10, how can you divide the They they They should be in that proportion that they divide the marriage expenses. That is righteousness. How to know uh that I'm ready to be baptized. The best 59:56 thing is to ask the elders and they will tell you. One last question. Why do churches decline? Why did it happen in Revelation chapter 2 and 3? 1:00:12 Because the devil is always active to add hypocrites to the church. The best church in the world was Jesus' church, which had 12 people and one of them was a hypocrite. One of one out of 12 means 8%. The best church in the world had 8% 1:00:32 hypocrites. So, you can't have a pure church. Even Jesus did not have one. That's not any reflection on Christ. He The wonderful thing is he got exposed. And I'll tell you something I've seen in 43 years in CFC. If somebody sits here and he's not 1:00:50 straightforward, one day or the other, he gets exposed, especially if he's proud. They get exposed. Sometimes people don't think of pride as a sin. You know, there are People are I've disciplined people in this church for pride. I say, "You cannot come to 1:01:08 this church anymore." Or I've told them not to come to any CFC church anywhere in the world. Now, many people think pride is not a sin. I say, "What if I tell you that this person was living in adultery every day for the last 5 years?" Do you think he 1:01:23 should be disciplined then? Say, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." You think adultery is worse than pride? Do you know what the chief angel did to become the devil? It was not adultery. You know how the highest angel became 1:01:34 the devil? Not by murder. By pride. The fundamental problem with a lot of people, even in CFC, is they don't see pride as worse than adultery and worse than murder. If somebody committed murder every week, you'd say, "Oh, definitely we don't want 1:01:52 him in the church." But, if someone is proud and arrogant, what is there, brother? That is nature. Uh-huh. Brother, you got to know God. Leave it to the elders. Sometimes they judge the elders for discipline. I know people I 1:02:06 have put out of the church. There are some older people who try to bring them back in the to the meeting here once when I was not here. What arrogance. They don't know why somebody is disciplined. Very often you don't know why an elder 1:02:21 disciplines someone. They don't advertise it to protect that person's dignity. But, elders have a very good reason for disciplining. I have got a very good reason if I have disciplined anybody, and I can stand before God and answer 1:02:34 for that. And I believe pride is the number one sin to be worse than I have met CFC people who have committed adultery. I did not put them out of the church. You know what I did? I said, "Don't break bread. You have repented. 1:02:53 You told me the truth. Don't break bread for 1 year. Don't tell anybody why you're not breaking bread. Don't tell anybody. Confess it. Repent before God." But, if they are proud, I'll tell you what. God resists the proud, and I resist the proud, and I 1:03:11 hope every elder will resist the proud. God does not resist the adulterer or the murderer. Jesus forgave the murderer on the cross, he forgave the adulterous woman, I will forgive the adulterous person, I'll forgive the murderer, but I 1:03:24 will resist the proud till the end of my life, cuz that's God's nature. If people don't understand it, too bad for them. So, that's how we go forward in the church, and when people don't uh churches which don't appreciate those 1:03:38 values, gradually they'll decline. So, that's just a I think we have covered a number of areas, but I trust it's been a help to everyone. Once again, let me remind you, please get a copy of this and give it out to some friends. Let's pray. 1:03:53 Heavenly Father, please help us to absorb so much that we've heard today, that it'll bring some lasting fruit in our lives. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
