2:22 [singing] [music] [singing] [singing] [music] >> Listen to the next song, bind us 2:43 together, Lord. >> [music] [singing] [singing] [music] [singing] 3:02 [music] >> Bind us together. >> [music] [singing] [music] [singing] 3:25 [music] [music] [singing] [music and singing] [singing and music] [singing and music] 3:51 >> Bind us >> [singing] [singing] [music] 4:29 [music] [music and singing] [singing] [music] 4:49 [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing and music] [singing and music] 5:12 >> Let's do verse five. >> [music] [singing] [singing] [music and singing] [singing] 5:36 [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] 5:54 >> Verse six. >> [music and singing] [music] [singing] [music and singing] 6:22 [music] [singing] [singing] [music] >> Verse seven. >> [singing] 6:41 [music] [singing and music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] 7:03 [singing] [music and singing] [singing] 7:28 [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music and singing] [singing] 7:51 [music] [singing] [music] >> Uh, brothers and sisters, can we all not 8:37 all, okay. Yeah. Okay, maybe except for the front row, everybody else stand up and please occupy the seats in front, okay? So, front row people are privileged, but everybody else, can you please stand? Please. See if there's a seat in front of you. 8:56 Please move towards the front. Yeah. So, one more incentive is that we will switch off the ACs and fans at the back, so please move towards the front, brothers and sisters. Please move towards the front, brothers 9:25 and sisters. There are empty seats, just just move. I can still see some empty seats. So, please move towards the front. All right. 9:50 Thank you, brothers and sisters. If you have If you have small children and you are somewhere at the back, that's okay, but otherwise, yeah, if there are empty seats in front, please occupy them. On this side that I I can 10:00 see quite a few empty seats towards the front. Brothers and sisters, please come forward. Please come forward. Let's pray and commit the meeting to the Lord's hands. >> [snorts] >> Yeah. So, 10:21 parents, please take care of your children. Children, try not to make noise. These are important things for parents generally to listen to, so be quiet. Let's pray. Loving Father Lord, we thank you and praise you, Lord, for your goodness, for 10:40 the privilege of being here. We praise you that you do all things well. Yes, Lord, we thank you you that you are the one who brings families together and establishes them, Lord, for your glory. We really want to understand your plan 10:53 and purpose for us, Lord. Uh we want to be a part of the church that you are building. Give us grace. We pray for your rich anointing on these brothers who are sharing, Lord. Thank you for bringing them here. We pray in your mighty name, 11:06 Jesus. So, brothers and sisters, we want to hear first from brother Victor. Uh and after that from brother Purushottam. Brother Polo will translate. Brother Victor, please. Proverbs chapter 31. 11:49 >> [clears throat] >> Bro, virtuous woman would have seven godly virtues, sir. We read about a virtuous woman and seven 12:13 characters of a virtuous woman in that chapter. We are sitting as husbands and wives together. >> [clears throat] >> Since it's 12:35 >> [clears throat] >> from Proverbs 31, let's not think it's for sisters alone. We can meditate God's word in a balanced way for both husbands and wives. >> [clears throat] [clears throat] 13:01 >> First virtue in verse 11, she is trustworthy. Second characteristic of that virtuous woman could be in that verse. Second thing that we read in verse 12, she does good 13:21 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. That's the second or characteristic. Third one, she is such a hard worker. From verse 13 to verse 19, we read about 13:45 her hard work. Verse 23, 24 talks about her hard work. Okay. Verse [clears throat] 20, the fourth 14:04 character, she is compassionate to the poor. >> [clears throat] >> She is compassionate. She extends her hand to the poor. Fifth one in verse 26, she opens her 14:22 mouth in wisdom. Uh I would think like I would think so. We read there the teaching of kindness. Kindness is on her tongue. I would think rising up her children in a godly way I would 14:41 think 27 28 I would think so. 27 28 talks about how she brings up her children in a godly way. Verse 30, a God-fearing woman I would think so. We read that she is a God-fearing woman. All these are written in this chapter. 15:01 So, uh I encourage all the sisters in the I would think I encourage the sisters to cultivate these virtues. Trustworthy women The burden that's in my heart for you is 15:27 in verse 11. Her husband trusts her trustworthiness. I want to balance this truth for husbands and wives. Before that, you know, we read about read in many verses that she works hard. 15:46 Uh 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. More than 10 verses There are about 10 verses written about her hard work. Even with [clears throat] such, 16:07 you know, hard working, she is bringing up the children in a godly way. We read that she is 27. Verse 27, she looks well to the ways of her household. I would think so. I would think so. And 16:27 does not eat the bread of idleness. Uh bread of idleness. Bread of idleness. What is that bread of idleness? Uh Swiggy, tomato, Ordering in Swiggy and Zomato, they are 16:44 the bread of idleness. Those days you have to cook every meal. In those days when we used to go for 17:07 Tuticorin conference and we come back after the conference, after 3 days during the Pongal vacation, there wouldn't there would not be any hotels or restaurants open. Not even one hotel would be open. On our way back, maybe a hotel here or 17:26 there in Madurai or in some places. I ask my wife on on our way back, perhaps in Madurai or in some place, we'll buy dinner and go. As we was, you know, talking like this, 17:48 boys would listen and say, "I want parotta. I want this They will order parotta. I want parotta. I want dosa. She would say, "No, no, no, we don't want parotta or anything. The moment we reach, I will prepare a porridge or 18:05 kanji." By the time you all freshen up, leave their bags, and change your clothes, I will prepare a kanji. And the boys would say, "Mommy, why are you like this?" 18:24 Example I was saying. He's quoting an example. Now, it's all bread of idleness. No bread from See, 18:51 See, 23 verse I would think so. In midst of all her hard work, look at verse 23. She would release the husband. When he sits among the elders of the 19:10 land, praise the Lord. After many years, it is it is as if the Lord is speaking to us. Dear younger sisters, release 19:36 [clears throat] your husbands to God's house and to God's people. When he sits among the elders of the land, She did not have the spirit of Martha. 19:53 What was the spirit of Martha? This is the spirit of Martha. Lord, my sister has left me alone and she has come and sitting with you. 20:12 The spirit of complaining. This sister that we read here had much more work than Martha. Martha had the spirit of complaining. But in in her lips in her mouth there 20:38 was kindness and wisdom. And the complaining spirit or boredom of the world in midst of all the work we should not have this complaining spirit. As sisters, as wives, we should not drag 21:04 the husbands, should leave them to go and be part of God's work and with God's people. But at the same time At the same time What should the husbands do? We read that in Luke 10. So this is the balance. We have a balance. 21:21 >> Luke chapter 10 Luke chapter 10 Who is your neighbor I've been kicked out of the Jesus or God have to be Jesus mentioned a parable in response to a question who is your neighbor. The story of good Samaritan was a 21:43 response to a question Who is my neighbor? Husbands, first of all husbands now I have to As husbands how should we For a long time when I read Luke 10 and 22:09 read about neighbor, this was my understanding. Neighbor is one who stays next door. We think that the person who is staying next door to our house is our neighbor. 22:26 But the Lord opened my eyes. It's not that who are staying next door is your neighbor. One who is very next to you, your wife is your neighbor. Your wife who is next to you is your 22:47 neighbor. And Satan could have led my wife in many situation, you know, make her hurt or go through depression or 23:07 harm her. There may be so many infirmities, weakness and she may be tired. In all such situations, if I move away 23:24 like a Levite and move away from my wife and I want to go sit with the elders of the land, then hypocrite. Then it's hypocrisy. I'm a 23:42 hypocrite. He's fake. If I move away from my wife who is hurt 24:10 and who is discouraged and I go to the church and do some activity there, then I'm a hypocrite. But what did the Samaritan do? He saw and he was moved. He had compassion. I [clears throat] would have mentioned 24:29 this earlier. Want to repeat it again. The three categories of husbands. First At home comes to the things at home. Some the first category of husbands, 24:56 they see something and they will do it even without the wife telling them to do. The first category of husbands in the 25:21 first best category, they will do things without the wife telling them. If they see the house have to be mopped, they will do that. If they see the vessels in the sink, they will wash it. If they see the clothes drying, they will take it 25:33 inside and fold it. This is a type of husband. We can give two ticks for them. The other category of husbands If we tell them, they will do. The washing machine is done. Could you 25:54 please dry the clothes? Could you bring the clothes inside and fold it? Could you help me in chopping the onions? You ask them to do, they will do. We'll give them one tick. 26:12 There is other category. Can you tell it? Not the sisters. Let the brothers tell the other category of husbands. >> [laughter] 26:30 >> Even if we tell them, they won't do. Even if we tell them, they won't do. >> [laughter] >> I was in that category. Should keep on saying you have to go to 26:49 the ration shop, ration shop. Should have mentioned it for two, three times. With all my work I would not have paid attention. Or I would have paid attention, but I would not do it. You know, she would have waited for some 27:18 time and after some time she would give up on me and start walking and go to the ration shop, maybe 1 and 1/2 km walk. There will not be any problem. She will just go on Okay, he has some important work. Let me go. All of the sudden I would realize what 27:39 happened. She was saying to go to ration shop. Where is she now? She is missing. So I I would know, okay, she left to the shop. I'm going to speed up and go. Immediately I take my scooter and go full fast there. She would be standing in the queue. 28:00 All I had to do was smile. Sorry. Okay, you were in work, so I came. That's how I started. >> [laughter] >> I have come to a stage, but I shouldn't 28:24 talk about myself. My wife should tell about me. I'm thinking that I got two ticks. But for sure I got a single tick. That I can say. Okay. So that's the balance. The sisters should release the husbands. 28:46 There should not be any complaining spirit. >> [clears throat] >> You know, she is like we read in Proverbs 31, she did so much of work, but she did not have the complaining spirit like Martha. At the same time the husbands should 29:08 know to balance. We need to have the spirit of the Samaritan that's mentioned in Luke 10. I should not see and move away. That's that means we lack compassion. If I don't show [clears throat] 29:32 compassion or mercy to the wife who is very next to me, but I do something at the church, then it's hypocrisy. Okay. Proverbs chapter 31 Proverbs [clears throat] 31 She is trustworthy. or There are many things that we can say 29:57 but I'd like to point out four things in brief. Yeah, especially in the area of sexual trustworthy whether it's a husband or 30:14 wife especially in the sexual areas they should be trustworthy. Instead of saying sexual I can say in our morality there should be trustworthiness. After Wednesday meeting a couple of 30:37 waiting to talk to me. They were not part of our church but visited our church. I know that family very well. After the meeting when we went to talk 31:08 with them the sister started asking brother you tell me how I am. What is my character? You know me or not? something Immediately I sense that something is wrong between the husband and wife. I speak freely to everyone. 31:32 But he starts to doubt. From my college and workplace I talk freely to people and it continues because of that my husband is doubting 31:51 me. The husband is responding saying sir I'm not doubting as she portrays. My question is why should you 32:10 unnecessarily talk freely and laugh at laugh with others? >> [clears throat] >> So I mentioned the beloved daughter like this. First Corinthians chapter 7 First Corinthians chapter 7 verse 34 32:29 verse [clears throat] 34 First Corinthians chapter 7 verse 34 First Corinthians 7:34 The Living Bible paraphrase puts it well. Married women must consider the likes 32:48 and dislikes of her husband We read in Living Bible like this the married woman should consider the likes and dislikes of her husband. whether my husband likes this or not I'm going to tell him about whether my husband likes this or not 33:08 The husband is not pleased with this. Talking too much to others or when I laugh and talk to others my husband doesn't like it leave it. 33:27 That is what it means to have trustworthiness. There's nothing wrong there. And the husband is also not you know doubting something is going wrong. So then my dear daughter see this is the word word of God says like this. 33:43 So I told her this is what the word of God says my dear daughter. The moment you smell it saying my husband doesn't like it leave it. Then the husband can trust you. or number 10 minute number 10 person 34:04 number 10 second number 10 And that's how we can give that give this trustworthiness to the husband if the husband doesn't like it I'll leave it. In the same way husband should also give that trustworthiness to the wife. 34:22 Some husbands come home late. They won't talk too much. Then the wife may doubt why is he behaving like this? In all such situations Satan wants to 34:38 enter and destroy the family. >> [clears throat] >> We read in First Corinthians 7 verse three that the wife likewise also The husband must fulfill his duty to his 34:58 wife and likewise also the wife to her husband. And likewise the wife to her husband duty She do that duty. I don't want to speak in detail. 35:21 Verse five we read about that duty. And come together again so that Satan will not tempt you. In this aspect the Bible says that the 35:40 wife should fulfill the duty towards her husband. Then only she can be a trustworthy woman. Sometimes [clears throat] wife may be weak or sickness or club have sickness or it could be their usual periods time. 36:04 All that is an understanding. force him or her In that situation the husband should not force. Husband should be considerate and you know have compassion. All this are hidden areas. 36:27 mat the carpet All this are you know behind the under the carpet hidden areas. They don't say it outside. If we if we send something and ask them 36:49 the wife is doing the duty to the husband they say no. She refuses. Sisters wives it's your duty. When such things are being refused the 37:14 husband should be strengthened by God's grace. Sanctification is our goal. goal purpose of Sanctification is the goal. Of many 37:32 purposes in marriage one goal is sanctification. That aspect if wife is not cooperating I should not have bitter attitude towards my wife. or I shouldn't act like a beast. 37:56 >> [clears throat] >> We don't have the time to look at this in the Old Testament we read like this. When you have time please read this. Second Samuel chapter 23 we need not turn. Second Samuel 23 David was in a battlefield. 38:16 He was old. own David had a desire that he had to drink water from his own well at Bethlehem. And he was longing for the water and 38:34 saying who will bring that water to me? It was besieged by the enemy. Okay. Three brave warriors They go in. They break through the Philistines army 38:59 and they get the water back bring the water. Now David was thirsty. Not for the next well's water. From his own well to drink water from HIS OWN WELL. WITH VIOLENCE THE WATER was brought out. 39:22 They brought the water. What a man of God. What a man of God that he was. He poured the water before the Lord. And he said it is considered as drinking blood. Yes. or old covenant man he got such light An old covenant man had such a light. 39:42 >> THEN ALL COVENANT MAN HAD SUCH a light. Violence burning and the water from my well. happened to the self control? All covenant man desire to stop from quenching his desire. In the new testament having received the 40:01 anointing. Okay. I can have self control towards thirst. Sanctification I can turn that into sanctification. All covenant man challenge all covenant man is challenging us. 40:21 In such aspects the wife should fulfill her duty. She should not refuse. Some wives are like this. They keep a check mate. This is not a matter to keep check. Dear sisters this is not a matter where you keep a check. If you do like this 40:37 this if this this then it's like keeping a check. >> [laughter] >> They're not trustworthy. This is an aspect to have a trustworthiness in another aspect. Money matters. In the money matters we should be trustworthy. Many husband and wives they don't have a 40:54 joint account. Healthy home will have a joint account. I'm not talking about a mere bank account being a joint account. All my incomes and expenses it's all consulted and have a joint account. Why there is no joint account? Brother I 41:03 can't trust my wife. I can't trust her and give money. She will just lavishly spend. I will keep I will handle all the financial things myself. They won't even show money to the wife. Galatians chapter 4. Galatians chapter 4. We read 41:08 about the free woman and the bond woman. Hagar was a bond woman. Sarah was a free woman. Galatians chapter 4:22. For it is written Abraham had two sons. One by the bond woman and one by the free woman. Dear husbands are we keeping our wife 41:13 like a bond woman or a free woman? We speak on both sides. Some husbands are keeping their wives like a bond woman. Do you know about his earnings? I I have no idea about his salary. Do you know about his savings? His deposits? No 41:17 idea. No clue. No clue about salary. No idea about his expenses. All that you need I bought it. That's it. Enough. Don't enter my boundary. If we treat our wife like this we treat her like a bond woman. That could be even another 41:22 extreme in that. Some wives always demand account for every single thing. Let's take the suggestion counseling of the Holy Spirit. You shouldn't go to this extreme or this extreme. Should not continue to drag the husband and not let 41:26 him to do anything. Don't do anything without asking me. Even if you have to do something for your parents you need to ask my permission. Even offering you should consult me and do. Everything should be consulted with me. This is one 41:31 extreme. They don't show anything to the wife. Neither of the extremes are right. Holy Spirit has a middle way we can find it. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and find it. Okay. The other two things about trustworthiness you can meditate. 41:37 We should be able to correct the wife. She should be correctable. Brother I just can't correct my wife. There will be non-cooperation movement at home. The husbands leave them as it is without correcting them because they don't want 41:41 to get into trouble. What does it mean there is no trustworthiness. If she is trustworthy she can be corrected. There should be trustworthiness in bringing up the children as well. Husband goes for job in the morning and comes back in the 41:48 evening. Husband should have the trustworthiness that my wife will bring up the children in a godly way. When it comes to morality there should be trustworthiness on both sides. In money matters there should be trustworthiness. Bringing up the 41:58 children. Correcting one another. I can trust her and correct her. God give us the grace. God's name be glorified. I'd like to continue from where brother has left. Since his children are not there. Only married couples are there we can 42:03 freely discuss. Under 13 are here. Okay. So 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Verse 3. Brother mentioned. The husband and the wife should fulfill their duties towards each other. Because of my age when I meet brothers and sisters in the church 42:08 they freely speak their problems to me. I have met both categories or kinds of people. Brother about 70 years of age. He once told me like this. The wife is almost 10 years younger to the husband. For about more than 20 years has no 42:13 physical relationship between me and my wife. If you calculate from age of 35. They both live in the same house from the age of 35. They had two children. Till 35 I did the duty that I have to do. Recently I met. >> [clears throat] 48:59 [clears throat] >> Recently I met 49:40 a girl from our church who got married in the other church. She's about 45 years. About 45 years old. With another sister with great hesitation he she came to speak to me. Conjugal relationship in a period of 50:01 time. For more than 10 years there's no relationship between me and my husband. Are you living together? Yes, we are living together. We have come together for a function. He takes care of me very well. In all aspects. He will buy all that is needed. He will 50:26 take care of the children, education, and their needs. Won't you talk to each other? Through children. It's like talking through the translator. They talk through the children. Is there any fight? There's no fight. 50:47 What's the problem? No idea. One problem came in one one area there is bitterness. Brothers one of the mother said never going to minus vengeance which could keeping a vengeance like brother mentioned it in the heart. Oh, you're going like this. You want to 51:10 do this? Okay, don't worry. I'll take care of you another thing. The wife asked the husband something and the husband is not doing it. The attitude is okay. I'll take care of you 51:27 in different thing different area. And the husband is also they have this attitude towards the wife. Better option would have been to have a servant at home. Because the duty that can be fulfilled 51:55 by the wife or the husband cannot be fulfilled by the paid servants. So if the husband or the wife if they don't fulfill their duty, will they not be you know, found 52:15 guilty guilty before the Lord? Verse [clears throat] four. The wife doesn't have authority over her own body. But the husband does and likewise also the husband doesn't have authority over his own body but the wife does. 52:36 First Corinthians 6:19 we read like this. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have from God and that you are not your own? In the spiritual sense our body belongs 52:54 to the Lord. Because he has bought us with the price. But in physical sense the husband's body belongs to the wife and wife's to the husband. Though the Lord has authority over us, 53:17 he won't force us into anything. The Lord said if someone wants to follow me. If someone wants to be my disciple. We heard from brother that we should not 53:35 force. We heard the example of David. Just because there is authority forcing the other one is wrong. At the same time it's equally wrong to not fulfilling the duty. Verse five there is a balance. Except by 53:58 agreement for a time. Except for by an agreement for a time. Stop depriving one another. One to one to one another. Stop stop depriving one another except 54:16 by an agreement for a time. When we take such decisions something else may happen. After watching it Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. If one is failing to fulfill their duty, 54:37 what happens? Satan will tempt because of the lack of self-control. That brother who is about 70 years old he said last 25 years that's the situation at home but by the grace of 54:55 God and by fearing God I'm able to live a life. In his spirit he's faithful to her his wife. And he didn't even imagine anyone else in that place. 55:12 How many can be like that? Same time husband also is not doing what the wife is expecting. How many wives will stay true? If they if they are not doing their duty 55:38 Satan will tempt them and who is the reason for that? They themselves. Verse 9. Verse 9. But if they do not have self-control >> [clears throat] >> let them marry. I don't know what they did. If they do not have self-control let 55:57 them marry. He's saying so many things to the married people but he's saying I'm single. I'm not married. But because may all don't have self-control. Men are more prone to that. So we must 56:23 be help us to each other. We should be helping each other help us to each other. To overcome lust. Okay. And many after marriages it's very rare 56:43 to see that both of them their hearts are united and they're living a life. And when considering marriage many biodatas that we give they say no no no because they have a different expectation. You know, everyone have a big list or 57:12 expectation towards the physical attraction or beauty or height or the job, the education. When girls are in a normal expectation or a normal expectation or a normal expectation. The girls have a certain expectation. The 57:26 boys have a different set of expectations. As the age goes by they strike off one at a time. They will come down slowly. At one stage if if they look into it 57:47 they'll say oh the proposal that came long back was better but I'm saying yes to this proposal now. By the time the other person is married and they have children. Sometimes as the years are going on they 58:42 come to a place where oh if I continue to be like this I will not be married ever. So they say yes to a proposal. They may come to a place where oh I don't want to sin. I want to just get married. It may read there it is better to marry 59:02 than to burn with passion. Verse nine it's better to marry than to burn with passion. Whatever it is when the marriage had happened. You must accept one another as it is. You have to accept accept one another as it is. Oh, this is the person I wanted I don't 59:28 know what I did. After the marriage we shouldn't look oh this is the person that I wanted." Malachi 2 verse 15 and 16, "But none of you has done so." 59:47 >> [clears throat] >> Verse your spirit. 15 16 15 and 16 "Take heed then to your spirit and let no deal treacherously against the wife of your youth." Okay. So Take heed of your spirit. 1:00:12 Some go to the girl and say, "You know, because my mom said I got married to you." The wife may say to the husband, "My parents forced me and got me married to you." Whatever it is, I have to come to a 1:00:36 realization that this is what God had kept for me and this is what God had given me. Whether Whether it's by force or through any situation, I have to come to the conclusion, "This is the one the Lord has given me, whether it's the husband 1:00:55 or the wife." Because it did not happen as I wanted, I should not have this dissatisfaction. Whatever happened, you said yes, right? You nodded your head. At least for the during the marriage, 1:01:16 they asked your um word of confession. One marriage [clears throat] I heard like this. Husband the man said like this, "Because my mom said I'm getting married to her." They asked him before all, before the 1:01:45 congregation, you said this is the one the Lord has given me, is it a lie? Many places it has become like a ritual and we are not realizing what we are saying. Before marriage, they may the place of 1:02:07 work or study, they may have boyfriends or girlfriends. From that day, on the knowledge and one or two can be only there is no more boyfriend, girlfriend. From that day with the marriage is fixed, I should be faithful to the wife 1:02:23 or the husband. There there's no more of boyfriend or girlfriend. Before that, being true is the commitment between God and me. Because he has bought me with a price, so I have to be faithful to him. But after marriage, I should be faithful 1:02:44 to both. God and the life partner. God and the life partner. Another thing, something brother Zach shared long back. They may be living in a small house. They may be staying in one room with uh 1:03:04 children. I heard a problem from a family. The wife said like this. My upstairs My husband goes upstairs and sleeps there. When I'm when I'm asleep in the middle 1:03:26 of the night, he comes and knocks the door. He said I did not open. And he said if the if I knock the door, she's not opening. So I asked him, "Why are you sleeping in the terrace till then?" So he said because uh the little 1:03:58 children are there, we are all staying in the same room. Because of my lack of self-control, I shouldn't do something and the children should not see that, so I go up to the terrace. Sometimes when they are all staying together, the children may look as if 1:04:17 they are sleeping, but they not may not be sleeping. Even though they are legally married, they should be careful in front of the children. Or they will start playing the games at 1:04:36 a young age. And because whatever they otherwise see will be registered in their mind and they will play this game, "I'm a father, you are the mother." And they start to play such games. That is what the Bible says that we have 1:05:04 to live in an understanding way. Ephesians 5 talks about how Lord Jesus 1:05:21 Christ considered the church as a bride and treated her. Verse 25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her." We read here that husbands should give 1:05:52 himself for the wife, just as Lord gave himself for the church. Brother spoke about how the husband should be concerned about the things of the wife and he spoke about double ticket all. So I hope it will be 1:06:12 registered in your mind. How the wife is, her wants and needs, and is she happy, is she struggling? What is the burden that is in her heart? 1:06:35 What are the troubles that she faces in the work? She may be facing difficult situation because of the children or the relatives. If the husband understands all that and 1:06:57 encourages the wife When we come home, we have to inquire things, "What happened? How are you? How do the children Especially in the place of work 1:07:17 nowadays, they rob all our time and they give salary. And they give more salary, they give increments, but they suck our energy and our time. They dry up our time. So the husbands come home tired and not 1:07:41 able to spend time at home. And situation is such that the wife will have to do all the things that both have to do together. So if we understand each other's 1:08:02 problems, we can live a happy life. In Ephesians 6, we read it's the responsibility of the fathers to bring up the children and in one place they asked like this. But because the wives are at home, many 1:08:24 places the wives are doing that responsibility. In one place I heard that the children are not studying well. The wife is blamed, "What are you doing? 1:08:41 Why are you not teaching them properly?" If the children are misbehaving, the husband will correct the wife. Instead of having this attitude saying, 1:09:02 "Oh, it's my responsibility because I'm not able to do, my wife is doing that." Instead, they they ask like this, "I'm working hard at office, why can't you do this? You are at home." So on one uh way, they are working hard and 1:09:17 on the other way, the husband comes and for a short while, he's there and he's scolding them. On one hand, they are burdened with all the work that they have at home and even when the husband have comes, he's there for a short while, but even then he's 1:09:31 just scolding. We should have a balance there. If like brother said, sometimes we can focus on ministry, ministry, and leave the family behind. Should know to balance in all of this. 1:09:56 Verse 31. Verse 29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church. Verse 28, husbands 1:10:19 ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. >> [clears throat] >> The wife should have this attitude that I'm a helper to the husband. We read that about Lord Jesus Christ, 1:10:49 how he gave himself so that he can having he can present the church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing. Yes. In the same way, if the husband, you 1:11:11 know, helps the wife in the weaknesses, the wife will also, you know, adjust the weakness of the husband. And especially men are selfish. And also 1:11:37 dominating. And dominating. Some places it's different. Once my wife had to go through a surgery 5 years back. >> 5 years back. Doctor said, "Every month you have to 1:12:00 come for observation." Except for the corona time for 1 month, every month for the last 5 and 1/2 years, I take her to the hospital every month. We have to travel for 70 km. 1:12:28 My wife will say, "Why should we unnecessarily travel every month and waste money? Let's take medicines for 2 months and go." I take her not just because of love, there is selfishness also. The respect or the honor that I have as 1:12:53 long as my wife is there, it's not there when my wife is not there. Even if she's just there We can have people to help at house, but she has to be there. The wives and husband, even if they are 1:13:23 old age and not able to do anything, as long as they are, they have respect. After somebody's passing away and other person have to stay with the children, there is no self-respect there even 1:13:47 though they have a rich lifestyle. Even at the old age, he is the head of the house there. Somebody is head of the house, you are one of the guest there. But in others' house, even children's house, they are not the head of the house, they have to 1:14:05 stay there as a guest. If we understand like this that I need to take care of my wife like my own body, we will take care of their health and 1:14:26 their body so well. Understanding what they are in order to correct what they manage to do. And when we do that, there is understanding and they they oversee the shortcomings of others. It is so easy for the wife to listen or 1:14:52 submit to the husband who loves who loves him so much, loves her so much. It is easy for the wife to submit to the husband who loves her. We read that Jesus Christ came down who 1:15:22 was with the Father. He wanted to come down and be with the church. In the same way, the wife will have to leave the parents and come and cleave to the husband. Likewise, the husband have to leave the parents and cleave to the 1:15:41 wife. Many houses physically they come out, but they still they listen to the parents. It is important that we have a spiritual 1:15:59 separation. If they have you know, enough resources, they may be living in separate houses or they may be in in same house. It is important that we are separated 1:16:17 from the parents in the spirit. So, our men are going to tell them what we want to in the principles and understand this. Beloved, we should understand the principle 1:16:36 if we you have to have a successful marriage married life. Jesus Christ is an example for us and Bible talks about how Jesus and the church, that's an example for us. 1:16:53 May God help us. Thank you. 1:17:20 >> [clears throat] >> Brother Victor and brother Parisuttam. Maybe you we need to go home and think about these things. Um it's required to listen to all these things again. Because >> [clears throat] 1:17:40 >> it takes 10 times to hear truths to sink into our life. Sometimes this may just come like this >> [sighs] >> as a fact, but for the truth to sink in, we may have to meditate on this. 1:17:59 Um then there will be glorious home relationships. Sometimes we may assume that we are okay. Um it's very important what we heard today. There's so many little bitternesses. Um like James says, 1:18:18 unless the cleansed there um um malice, remains of the malice. That means sometimes there will be small differences which can um bring division between each other. 1:18:36 Small differences. Like we heard, somebody said, "No, I want to keep a distance from my wife. Otherwise, I'm okay." Yeah, God doesn't in fact Malachi says, um Lord hates divorce. 1:18:56 Generally, we think divorce means I go to the court and arguments and we I settle matters and get a piece of paper. That's our understanding of divorce, but for God, a gap between husband and wife is divorce. Um that I can't talk to talk to my 1:19:15 wife or husband. And those differences, those malice or um bitterness or resentment, frustrations, or unforgiveness. May the Lord help us so that uh 1:19:32 we can manifest the life of Christ. Jesus could see Judas very closely. He could see so many things, so much lack. But uh when he said one one of you will betray me, 1:19:51 nobody could guess it was Judas. He kept his heart so uh cleansed. May the Lord help us to have such relationships, such good attitudes rather. Uh let's pray. Dear Father, you have a good things in 1:20:13 store for each one of us, especially husband and wife relationship. Satan has taken advantage and defiled and taken advantage of many many homes in the whole world, even so-called Christian homes. 1:20:31 He's easily been able to divide the hearts. And uh Lord, uh we pray that we will have grace enabled through the Holy Spirit uh so that we will have a we will be able to defeat Satan, Lord. 1:20:50 All his schemes will be defeated. So that we can restore love despite of our weakness and imperfections. We can restore love and peace in the home, Lord, so that we'll have a glorious home where uh your promise, what you said, 1:21:08 "When people see that you love one another, they will know you are my disciple." That will be true, Lord. Despite of our difference, weaknesses, we'll be able to love, maintain love, then people will understand we are truly disciples of 1:21:22 Jesus. Give us grace to be so, Lord. We commit ourselves. Lord, we can't do it on our own strength, we know that. Our adequacy and our power is through you, Father. We trust you and ask you in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. We have a break now. 1:21:41 And we'll come
